Much Ado About Somethings
by Holli-chan
Summary: There are just those special, rediculous moments we remember together: we cherish them, nobody else cares to hear them, and yet we tell them anyway, just to please ourselves and annoy the dear listener. Random Death Note drabbles of all veriety.
1. Giant Authors Note Of Doom

**Giant Authors Note Of Doom:**

**Okay, peoples, I'd just like to make it clear: this is a place for me to stick all of my random-ass drabbles, oneshots, blurbs and ideas that are piling up way too much with no where to go, but won't really survive on their own. XD I feel like everyone has these, but I'm not just jumping on a bandwagon, it just felt like a good idea! O_O A BANDWAGON THAT'S A GOOD IDEA! :C THAT'S RARE.**

**Anyways, the updates on this thing will be on and off, and will often be extremely short and random. But hopefully SOMEONE will get kicks out of this thing. :P This is basically just a cure for my writers block XD but it's on and off and only partially effective, like chemo therapy, or depression pills. OH, and i promise i'll do my best not to let this, or any of my other smaller things, get in the way of my bigger projects (Heartburn, for example, shouldn't be delayed by my spazum days). This is basically just how i can get all my randomt houghts out of my head so i can focus on my more serious things :)**

**Okay, so, there we go, people!**

**OH, and this is a disclaimer for the entire thing of them:DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE. I WISH I DID, BUT SADLY, I DO NOT. THIS IS KIND OF OBVIOUS AND REDUNDANT, BUT WHAT-EV-A.**

**~Holli**

_**Side effects of this story may include: randomness, boredom, bleeding of the eyes, carpal tunnel, loss of vision, exploding of the brain, nosebleeds, unstoppable laughter, lack of oxygen, blindness, social retardation, insanity, suicidal thoughts, and death.**_

**Edit: Alright so apparently you're not allowed to have just authors notes as chapters, so here's this random thing:**

Mello sighed and flopped back on his bed. "I'm bored."

Matt frowned, still playing his game. He'd played it so may times he had it memorized. "Me too."

"Ugh," Mello mused.

"Ugh," Matt agreed cleverly.

And, because this fic was basically just space filler anyway, they promptly went back to what they were doing before (Mello imaginging Matt in a playboy bunny suit, Matt playing video game) and no plot proceeded to happen. The end.


	2. Rest in Pixels

Being comforting had never been something I was good at. Actually, I was a pretty cold-hearted person. Generally, I was cruel and merciless with pretty much everyone. I mean, not _cruel _per say, but I pretty much hated most people. I was a mafia boss for crying out loud. I cared almost nothing for most people, especially people who are bitches. Or mess with the world. Or mess with _L. _Or the laws of physics. Or abuse children. Or act like homophobes. Or are pro-Kira. Or mess with me. Which pretty much narrows it down to _I hate everyone. _

I was not a good comforter. I was not sympathetic. I never needed to be. And there was only one person that I would ever find the energy to put effort into trying for.

I was just sitting around, minding my own business and watching some random Newscast about - what else? - Kira, and fuming about how they treated him like some sort of god. He wasn't God. I took out my anger on the subject on my chocolate bar, taking angry oversized bites out of the bar.

Then I heard the crying.

I thought I'd heard the noise wrong at first, or that it was something on TV. But the woman on the television wasn't crying nor making any sort of noise, except to report about Kira's reign all over again; the same story every day. Never any tears for the innocent that may have been slain. So what, I wondered, were the choked noises I heard?For a while I just sat and waited, finishing off my chocolate bar and hoping that the noises would go away. Maybe, I thought, it was the neighbors. But the noises didn't stop, in fact, they just got more pathetic; the noises were muffled, as if they were trying to be held back but failing. _Who the fuck was crying? _I couldn't place it.

Surely it wasn't Matt. It dawned on me that it kind of _had _to be Matt, since the walls in this particular hotel room were soundproof - a rare feat, especially compared to the shithole apartments we usually end up in, but also temporary, since it was a hotel - but the idea of the redhead crying baffled me. I mean, he was a generally chill kind of guy. He wore his heart on his sleeve, but normally his heart was completely happy-go-lucky. Matt didn't just… _cry _for no particular reason. As far as I knew, the previous day had been completely fine - we'd worked on the Kira case, hacked a bank, he'd played video games most of the day as usual, we'd had a squabble about something or another like every other day, which somehow resulted in sex on the couch. A pretty good day, if I do say so myself.

So the question was, why was Matt crying?

I slipped off of my chair and stalked towards the bedroom door (it was a two-room hotel suite, thanks to Matt's clever hacking skills.), the cries getting louder with every step closer that I took until I reached the oak wood door. For a second I lingered there, uncertain. I'm not exactly one for hesitation, you see, but I'm not that great with… feelings, per say. Especially things like love or, more importantly, crying. I'm skilled with anger, wittiness, and lust, but that's about it. I've got Matt for the sappy shit.

Which is exactly why I was hesitant to bother him. Matt wasn't a crying sort of guy. He was the sort of guy who hugged and cheered up while _you _cried, not the type that cried himself. Part of me doubted he would want comfort - I knew that when _I _cried I liked to be left alone (though I never was left alone, since Matt was always hovering and hugging me out of my sob-moods, which are rare and usually short lived now a day) but, since Matt hadn't cried since Wammys days and I, being a mafia boss now, wasn't used to this kind of thing at all, I was hardly ready to just barge in there and demand explanation for the sad whimpering noises coming from inside the room.

Finally, though, I forced myself to open my mouth to speak. I never got the chance to, though, because Matt beat me to it, cutting me off without knowing it. "I know you're out there, Mello, you're too loud when you pace," he called quietly, his voice strangled slightly. I could tell he was trying to sound carefree, but he was failing miserably. I sighed and pushed the door open, and when it swung out of the way I felt a coldness in my chest. Matt was flopped on the ground, leaning on the wall, staring straight ahead at the blank gray wall. He like a kicked puppy, not even looking at me when I slipped inside the room, hiding his face, hunched over and hugging his knees - a position that children had when they were crying, looking out of place on a young man like Matt, yet somehow making it all the more horrifying to see.

"Matty…" I whispered his pet name uncertainly, shuffling my feet where I stood. I wasn't sure what to do - hug him or yell at him for not telling me he was feeling bad. I racked my brain for reasons he would be feeling this horrible, but I came up blank.

Matt sniffed, letting out a humorless chuckle. "Hey," he muttered with false casualness, still not turning to face me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice blunt. I was trying to make myself sound caring and worried, but instead I just sounded bored, proving that I was a failure at being sensitive. Matt didn't reply, just shrugging his shoulders in response. Frustrated by his lacking reaction I sighed, taking a few quick steps forward and lingering above him, still hesitant to touch him, in fear that he'd whip around and tell me to fuck off like I always did to him. I couldn't see his face from my position, but he was visibly tense.

When he didn't respond once again I sucked in a breath. _You can do this. You can be sensitive and comforting. You are Mello - you blow up buildings, you took over the Mafia, you are a genius, you are - were - an L successor, you are a sex god. You can comfort your own goddamn boyfriend. _In my frustration I thrusted out my hand, shoving it a bit too roughly onto his shoulder. He jolted in surprise, the movement that was meant to be comforting making him flinch in discomfort; still he didn't look at me. I relaxed my wrist, making the touch much more gentle than it was before, but the moment was completely ruined by my compulsiveness. _Dammit… or not._

"Matt, come on. What's wrong?" I managed to whisper, crouching down beside him. He snorted, shaking his head and refusing to look at me again. I narrowed my eyes in aggravation, scowling slightly. "For god sakes, Matt, I'm your god damn boyfriend, you tell me why you're crying."

"It doesn't matter," Matt replied stubbornly, glancing at me just slightly. Even with just a glance I could see the expression on his face, and I knew that it _did _matter. Nothing that was _nothing _made his eyes get puffy from crying, nothing made his lips tremble that didn't truly matter, nothing made his beautiful green eyes get flushed with pain.

Resisting the urge to yell at him I moved the hand on his shoulder to his head, piecing through the red hair there and ignoring the impulse to ruffle it, which he typically enjoyed but wouldn't help in this situation. "Come on, Matty," I demanded, a bit more high-pitched and begging now, using my pleading, whiny voice that only he had ever heard. "Just tell me.""No," Matt snapped, and I saw a blush leap to his cheeks, shaking his head. I blinked in surprise - he almost never simply _refused _to do something I asked. Then again, this was his business, not mine. Still…

"Well why the hell not?" I demanded a bit louder, dropping my hands away from him. Matt peeked at me again, his eyes blank and sad under the orange tint of the goggles. I met his eyes for a moment, knowing that I was glaring and trying to mask it with a smile but failing. Matt looked away, shaking his head again, the blush still present on his cheeks.

" It's stupid, seriously. You'll just laugh," Matt elaborated quietly. I winced, pained both by the surety in his voice and the fact that he was probably correct in his assumption. I wasn't exactly the most sensitive of people, like I said - he'd once had a pet goldfish, which he named Mario, by the way; he'd bought it despite my arguing that it would just die, since Matt too often forgot to do simple tasks, like brushing his teeth for example, because of his video games. Sure enough, Mario had died - when Matt mournfully reported the news to me, I had laughed at him. _Told you so! _We had only been eight, but I'm pretty sure Matt was scarred by the predicament - he buried the goldfish beside his first game boy (which had died of pure overuse) and never had another pet again. Looking back now, I'd never really taken any of his problems seriously, minus the death of his parents and the time he'd almost committed suicide when I left him, and that was beyond seriousness. I sighed, frustrated, and slip my hand back onto his shoulder and, careful to be as gentle as possible, nuzzle my nose into his shoulder.

"Come on, Matty, I won't laugh. I promise," I whispered, pleading tone in my voice once again, desperate to prove to him that I could, in fact, be a sensitive human being.

After a long pause, Matt looked over his shoulder at me, face twisted uncertainly. I could tell he _wanted _to open up and spill what was going on, but was hesitant to do so - understandable, really. I gave him my best sympathetic smile - which probably wasn't that sympathetic at all, but it's the thought that counts - and reached out to brush my hand through his hair. "You can tell me, Matt," I whispered, pleased with how gentle and loving I sounded.

Matt's stubbornness dissipated, expression of uncertainty melting into one of pure misery. "You promise you won't laugh?" he whispered, scooting around to face me completely. I smiled a victorious smile, nodding eagerly.

He sighed and pushed his goggles up long enough to rub his eyes, pulling them back over his eyes and meeting my eyes. I waited for a long time while he seemed to think of the right way to put what he was trying to say, a searching look swimming in his deep eyes. Finally, he took in a shaky breath; I braced myself for the worst, trying to think up all the best Hallmark-sympathy lines I could in my mind but coming up short.

"It's… Steve. He… died," Matt whispered, his voice trembling just slightly. I stared at him, eyes widening. _Steve? _I didn't know anyone named Steve, but all I could think of is the fact that someone Matt seemed to obviously care about had just died.

"Awh, Matty…" I murmured, opening my arms to invite him in for a hug. Actions spoke louder than words, after all. He seemed to get the message, climbing into my arms and hugging me around the waist, letting out a miserable little sigh.

"He was so awesome…" Matt murmured sadly, shaking his head. "That god damn Alexia just had to kill him…" He sniffled, squeezing me tighter for comfort. "It's so unfair!"

I wrapped my arms hesitantly around him, racking my mind for faces to attach to these names. I was fairly sure there were no Steve's in Wammys house, and Matt didn't really have that many friends. And the friend had been _murdered? _Holy shit. This was major.

"I'm so sorry, Matt," I murmured, petting his head quietly. He let out a shaky sigh, nodding into my shoulder before pulling away, giving me a lopsided smile.

"Thanks," he replied appreciatively, running his hands through his hair in an awkward fashion. I managed to smile back at him, though the uncomfortable tingle was still there in the back of my mind not knowing who he was talking about. "Even if you don't get it, you still comforted me, so… thanks."

"Yeah. No problem?" I replied uncertainly, but in the back of my mind I was thinking _don't understand? What's there not to understand? I've worked in the Mafia for years - people I know die all the time. _Still, I didn't voice my thoughts, unsure of what to say.

"I can always go back to the other parts with him anyways, so it's no big deal, I guess. I'm just a crybaby," Matt continued sadly, shaking his head.

I froze, stopping my comforting measures, staring at him with widening, disbelieving eyes. _No fucking way. He couldn't possibly mean…_

"A _video game _character?" I cried in surprise, glaring at him without really meaning to, disbelieving. Matt blinked, looking shocked, a blush reappearing on his cheeks again.

"What did you think I was talking about?" he asked uncertainly, looking embarrassed. I gaped at him in disbelief. I knew he was obsessed with video games, but… "He's the resident evil guy. The sexy one."_STEVE. OH! Resident Evil of __**course… **__But… oh my god…_

My gape cracked into a huge grin, lower jaw shaking in effort to hold back the bubbling up emotions, biting hard onto my lip as I looked at him. He had looked so miserable, because of… a video game character?I couldn't take it. Going back on my pervious promise, I burst into wild, hysterical laughter, throwing my head back and setting off on a giggle-spree. Matt gasped angrily, an infuriated blush making his entire face go red with embarrassment and anger. I tried to stop, but it was impossible to keep a straight face - every time I tried I just started laughing all over again.

"Dammit, Mello, you promised you wouldn't laugh!" Matt cried, giving me an angry, betrayed look. This only made me laugh more, though, hands coming over my mouth in effort to make the sound stop but failing miserably, laughter-tears coming to my eyes.

"I… I'm sorry but…. Oh god!" I exclaimed through my laughter, unable to stop it from bubbling over. I was cracking up helplessly now, and all effort to stop and hold to my promise once again was out the window.

Matt glared at me and got to his feet, the pout still on his face, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fuck this, I'm leaving to mourn somewhere else!" he snapped at me, storming away in a stubborn, irritated fashion. I only continued to wail with laughter, unable to stop myself , falling to my side as I cramped up from giggle-overdose.

Like I said - I've never been much of a sympathetic person. Especially when the reason is completely and utterly ridiculous.

**A/N: I don't own Death Note or Resident Evil. XD Obviously. If you haven't played Resident Evil, you should know that Steve is the sexy character, and Alexia killed him. Obviously. XD I was ready to start bawling when he died in the video game, so I couldn't resist but make this story in response, even though it's been a long time since this happened for me XDD I could just see Matt doing this. Anyhow… yeah. :P**


	3. That Voice

**A/N: Wow, a third one! :C This one's mostly dialog, so forgive me. I still don't own Death Note. I forget to write that, every single time, but whatever. **

It was night time when Mail Jeevas had a thought. It was very, very late, but Mello had only just gone to bed - he knew he wouldn't be asleep. So he dared a whisper towards the bottom bunk.

"Mello… have you ever thought…"

Mello's voice cut him off. "No."

"…_What?_"

"No."

"What the fuck, man? I just started--"

Even in the jet blackness of the room, Matt swore he could _feel _Mello rolling his eyes. "You had the gushy voice."

"The gushy voice…?"

"Yeah, the gushy voice. The voice you use when you're trying to say something meaningful and romantic. The gushy voice."

"…I was not."

"What were you going to say, then?"

"…"

A rustle of fabric could be heard in the darkness - Mello had turned to face him, despite the fact that neither of them could see anything at all in the blackness. "Matt?"

"I'm not telling _now, _you ruined it."

"It WAS something romantic! Spit it out!"

"No! Never! Go back to sleep."

"But now I'm awake, god damn you…"

"…"

"…tell me."

"NO."

"_Maaatttt…_"

"Fine, fine, stop whining. I was just going to ask… have you ever thought about… what happens?"

"Happens?"

"After you die."

"Oh. No. Not really."

"Hmm."

"Have you…?"

"Not really. Not before today."

"Ah."

A pause, awkward and hesitant. Then Mello spoke again.

"What makes you think about _that_ all of a sudden?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You're reckless and kinda crazy, Mells. And I hardly have to remind you I'm going to be following you everywhere you go--"

"Freakin stalker…" Mello teased, trying to change the subject, but was ignored.

"--so I mean, it's sort of foolish to think I'm going to live a long life."

"Matt…"

"No."

A pause. Then, "What the fuck?"

"I said 'No.'"

"…"

Matt grinned, despite the fact he knew that Mello couldn't see him.

"You were using your love-y, apologetic voice."

"I do _not _have a love-y, apologetic voice!" Mello spat, and even in the blinding darkness of the room Matt knew the other boy was blushing. "You're freaking ridiculous."

"Yes, you do."

"Since when!?"

"Since forever. You were using it, just then. It's when you know I'm right, and you don't want me to be. Thus: love-y apologetic voice."

"…You're an asshole."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"…"

There was a long pause where neither of the boys wanted to say, and Matt felt his eyelids drooping. He'd gotten his odd thought off his chest, and now he realized it was at last 2:00 A.M. and he was beyond exhausted. Mello wasn't seeming to be replying, so he turned to face the wall, pulling the blankets closer around him and letting himself relax.

The silence only lasted about five minutes after Matt closed his eyes before the voice whispered through the room again, quivering just slightly as it made it's way to Matt's ears.

"Matty? Are you asleep?"

"…No, and you're using the love-y apologetic voice again."

"I… Matt, you're not going to die young."

"…"

"Don't think you're going to, Matt. I won't allow it."

Matt sighed audibly, a smile making it's way onto his lips. He didn't know what was more tragic - the fact that Mello was lying to him, or the fact that Mello _knew _he was lying to him. Mello just simply refused to admit the truth.

"Goonight, Mello," he whispered.

"…Night, Matt."

A pause, and Matt could hear Mello shifting around on his own bed. When the blonde stopped his shifting, he whispered again.

"Love you, Mello."

"…Heh."

"What!?"

"Nothing. It's just… you were using the gushy voice again."

Matt sighed.

"…I love you, too, Mello."

**A/N: This was mostly humourus, but it was kind of morbid a little, if you caught that part. :/ Hum... oh, and if you didn't already register this in your mind: it took place in Wammy's house. Just fyi.**


	4. Cake Flavored

_Crunch._

Light bent forward slightly, trying hard to focus on the task at hand. He was scanning through files over the Kira case with concentration, trying to decipher the clues. What was this about these companies, something about the numbers here seemed so…

_Crunch. Snap. _

The brunette sighed, distracted again by the sound, but not allowing himself to turn around to look at what it was. Back to the numbers, he told himself, ignore the tugging at your chain. He doesn't need your attention right now - we were just fighting, after all.

Now. The numbers.

He wasn't 100 percent sure, though L seemed to have taken to his deduction pretty well, that he was right. It seemed strange that Kira would support a company, considering what he had been doing previously hadn't seemed to be for the sake of money but rather for the good of his "new world." Light scoffed. Though the idea was a nice one, it seemed so ridiculous that one person could do it.

How could you kill someone without touching them, anyway…?

_Crunch. Crunch. Slurp._

Light sighed, distracted by his thoughts and the noises coming from the man beside him again. He spared a peek at the man, but regretted it as soon as he realized L was staring at him and had clearly seen him looking. The raven-haired man was looking at him over his tea cup, having slurped down a drink just moments ago, licking his lips of the overly-sweetened liquid.

The teen snapped back to looking at the screen, surfing through the news files. _So if Kira was supporting the Yotsuba group, then…_

_Crunch crunch crunch._

_Tug. Yank. _Light flinched as the chain around his wrist was yanked slightly, tugging at his wrist, and he turned to glare at the black-haired insomniac beside him, L. He was curled into his usual sitting position, eating a pack of thin mints rather noisily, purposefully snapping his teeth down on it each time. Had Light known the blonde, he would recognize that L was trying to mimic Mello's way of eating chocolate as he did, taking violent little crunches off the thin mints. However, he was nowhere near the effect that Mello had when he ate his own food, and it bothered the raven-haired man greatly.

But like I said, Light hardly knew that. He was smart, but not a mind reader. If he was, his job would be a lot easier, he thought.

"What do you want, Ryuzaki?" Light snapped, using the raven-haired boy's alias. L blinked bluntly at him, the edges of his lips twitching. To anyone who didn't know him well, it would have looked like a blank, emotionless stare; Light, however, had been chained to him for a long while now, and he recognized the vague hurt in his dull gray eyes at the brunettes tone.

"I was simply wondering if you found anything else about Kira," Ryuzaki lied, taking another _snap _of the thin mints. _Ah, I am getting the hang of it, maybe… _the raven-haired boy thought, wondering briefly if Mello would have scoffed at him for thinking so.

Light frowned.

"Well, nothing that I hadn't already explained," Light told him cautiously. Ryuzaki didn't usually ask these kinds of questions so often - usually he would ask once, and then ignore you unless you came to him first. He could tell, for this reason, that the raven-haired boy was lying to him. _Stupid L. Never says what he really means, _the brunette thought, stubbornly so. He was thoroughly peeved at the raven-haired man, though - how dare he still accuse him of being Kira? He'd been _chained _to the guy, for goodness sake!

But he supposed, vaguely so, that L could be right to accuse him. He wasn't Kira, obviously (or not so obviously, but he couldn't possibly know that) but L was right to be suspicious. After all, he was a prime suspect - had the positions been switched, he thought, he would have suspected himself, too.

"I see," L said bluntly, taking a sip of his tea. He looked withdrawn, more than usual. Light couldn't place why, but he felt worried for the raven-haired boy. And he couldn't quite place why he had hated him before - I mean, he was pissed at him _now, _but before the chained-together thing and being let out of custody, he had truly hated the detective. Now he kind of enjoyed his company.

"You going to share those thin mints?" Light asked casually, a bit teasingly so, reaching out to take one from the stack. This was pointless, he knew; he wasn't surprised when L slapped his hand away, scowling at him.

"No, I am not, Light-kun, please do not steal any," L snapped, shoving another full thin-mint into his mouth. The brunette couldn't help but laugh a little - L looked kind of ridiculous with a whole thin mint in his mouth, mouth slightly puffed out before he got around to chewing the chocolate treat. "The girl scout who gave these to me informed me that they were not for sharing, anyway. These are very special thin mints - I paid for them myself," L continued angrily through his thin mint, huffing.

Light laughed despite himself, joking, "Oh, better hope that Girl Scout wasn't Kira. She knows your face now, you know - that, and your weakness for thin mints." L only scowled at him - or rather slightly narrowed his eyes and stared him down, subtle with his expressions as ever, but Light still caught the expression, and halted his laughter. _So much for trying to lighten the mood._

"The Girl Scout was certainly _not _Kira - she was eight," L told him, slightly irritated sounding.

Light frowned. "I was joking, Ryuzaki."

"I am not good with jokes," L replied simply, abandoning his attempt to eat the thin mints in Mello's special way and simply shoving them one by one into his mouth. Light raised an eyebrow at the panda-eyed man, a little bemused by his actions, though they weren't really that unusual.

"I can see that," Light grumbled, twisting in his chair and looking back at the screen. He couldn't focus anymore though, constantly seeing L either in the corner of his eye or in the back of his mind, hyperaware of the other male as he ate his thin mints, creepily cognizant of the fact that a familiar pair of panda-eyes were staring at him.

So much so, in fact, that he couldn't actually remember where he had learned the word "cognizant" and it bothered him. _English class? From my mother, maybe? Maybe it was… oh, fuck, it doesn't even freaking matter, HE IS STARING AT ME._

The brunette sighed shakily, having slight trouble controlling himself as he brushed his fingers through his soft brown hair. He glanced at Matsuda, who was passing by and chattering away with Misa right outside - he couldn't start arguing with the detective now. Not with them in a mile radius - what if something stupid came spilling out of his mouth? With Misa and Matsuda there, it would be harsh.

_Something stupid like what…? _

"Light-kun, if you wish to go and talk to Miss Amanye, feel free," L interrupted his thoughts, looking at him quizzically. Light could tell, though, by the look in L's eyes that he didn't mean it. He didn't really want him to leave - he was just making it clear that he had the option to. There was a flicker of annoyance in the raven-haired man's eyes as he nodded to the blonde outside - L had been especially annoyed with her, especially considering that L had to come with Light and Misa on all of their dates. Despite being a "fan of her work" L secretly detested the girl.

"…no," Light said slowly, shaking his head and going back to looking towards the screen, but he couldn't deny that he was looking at L from the corner of his eye now. "I'm fine here."L then did something strange. He smiled. _Smiled. _It wasn't a normal brand of smile - it was a tiny little twist in his lips, a creepy kind of smile - but cute, undeniably, at the same time. A curious expression it was on the detective, a tiny smile and a slightly lit-up look in usually dead-looking gray eyes.

The expression was gone as soon as it came, L returning to looking at his own screen now. But Light had seen it.

"Has Light-kun forgiven me for being so inconsiderate before?" L suddenly asked, looking over his shoulder. Light frowned.

"Have you admitted that you were wrong?" the brunette tested, narrowing his eyes slightly. The black-haired man scoffed.

"I am never wrong, Light-kun. But I am often _socially _incorrect," L said casually, shrugging his shoulders slightly before going back to looking at his screen.

_Gee… what a heartfelt apology, _Light thought a bit bitterly, going back to looking at the screen. All the same, though, L was probably right - it wasn't his place to get angry at the raven-haired man for speaking what he saw to be the truth. Even if he was wrong and he wasn't Kira… the raven-haired man certainly had reason to doubt. He was a genius. In fact, had Light not been the one accused, he would have believed him. He was an amazing detective - he was never wrong. Light wouldn't admit it, but he was… always at least partially correct. But…

_How could I be Kira and not remember?_

Wouldn't that be impossible, really? And the killings just keep coming…

"_If all possible things are overruled, then the impossible must be true…" _Light muttered to himself, repeating something he'd heard a long time ago, without really meaning to say it out loud. L blinked and looked at him, surprise evident in his eyes for just a split second.

"What was that, Light-kun?" L asked cautiously, frowning. Light just shook his head.

"Just me thinking. Sorry," Light replied casually, shaking his head and going back to looking at the computer screen. For one reason or another, a woman's face blinked in his mind - dark black hair, soft brown eyes. She had something to say to him, before she went away but now… Now he couldn't remember what it was. Something… Kira related? Why did he have the feeling she was dead…

_You need more sleep, Light. _

"I see…" L said, slowly, feet fidgeting out of habit. Light couldn't help but smile when he saw them - it creeped some people out, when he did those things, but Yagami found it oddly cute. Different, sure - but he liked different. Different tended to be interesting. And L was definitely that - interesting. Certainly a good word for the raven-haired man, that one was.

_Why do I have the feeling I want something from him?_

"You look confused," L tells him bluntly, sliding forward in his rolling chair to peer at him. The brunette blinked in surprise as the raven-haired man was suddenly very close to him, leaning forward in his chair with penetrating, pencil-gray eyes. "Thinking about something?"

_You, actually. _"Nothing, really," Light lied instead of speaking his thoughts, shrugging, but there was the hint of an embarrassed flush in his face as he did. He hated feeling so intimidated by the detective, but it was as if the raven-haired man was reading him like a book as he stared. Maybe it was the age difference… or just that L was strange in that way.

"You are lying to me, Light-kun," L said, just as bluntly. _Light-kun. There he goes, calling me that again… _Light shook his head, frowning.

"Why would I be lying?" Light asked, glaring at him. "You're the one who lies all the time, not me."

"That is untrue," L replied bluntly, glaring right back. "I do not deny that I lie, Light, but no more than you do. That is what smart people do - they lie. It's a cruel talent we cannot avoid."

Light shivered. _Why do I feel like that hits so close to home? Do I really lie that often?_

_**Yes…**_

Light shivered again. What was that odd thought in his mind? He didn't lie that much. He was a good person, a good student, a good son. Why was he thinking that way?

"You do not reply because I'm right," L told him thoughtfully. Light was about to make a sharp, angry retort, but the black-haired man suddenly reached out and brushed his finger across Light's lips before he could speak. The brunette froze at the sudden, unexpected contact, the black-haired man pressing three fingers lightly on the younger boys mouth. "Do not bother with arguing, you know I'm correct," he said.

Light finally swatted the black haired man's hand away, unable to stop the blush that scattered across his cheeks. L smirked as the brunette growled, "Son of a bitch. Don't stereotype geniuses."

"So you call yourself a genius?" L asked quizzically. Light was about to object, and to point out that L did, too, but the raven haired boy shook his head and continued instead, "I am not just stereotyping, Light-kun. It's simply what I have observed over the years, with myself and… others."

"Others?" Light asked, curious, but the raven-haired man shook his head and brushed the subject off, rejecting any kind of prodding from the boy with a simple wave of his hand.

"Does Light-kun ever get serious with girls?" L suddenly asked. His voice was casual and blank, as if he was asking if it ever snowed in California (it didn't). Light choked on nothing, throwing his hand over his mouth, feeling his face start to burn. _What the hell?_

He thought for a second that L was teasing him, but the look in the other man's eyes was dead serious.

"Yeah, sure," Light replied. He wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not - what was his definition of… "serious"? He _was _a virgin, yeah, though he hated to admit it. But he had dated girls for long periods of time, had a good time with them and all. He was a bit of a playboy, in fact. _But… serious…?_

"I am referring to sex, Light," L clarified, even more bluntly this time.

Light wanted to die.

"Not… often."

"By often, you mean _ever,_ correct?"

"…"

L smirked. "Do not fret, Light-kun. Such is a curse of being a genius as well…" L told him, but as he did the smirk faded to a slightly-sad half-frown. "You never quite find the time for things like love… and, well, simply too clever for acting blindly on lust," L continued, shaking his head. Light wondered, vaguely, if the raven-haired boy was referring to Light or himself.

"That's not true," Light intervened, frowning, and L looked at him quizzically again. He found himself arguing on instinct, continuing, "Just being smart doesn't make you incapable of love."

"I realize that, Light-kun - I was referring mostly to myself," L replied. "And possibly you, as well, unfortunately."

"That's _still _not true," Light argued. He didn't know what was fueling his sureness, but he continued angrily, "You have to be capable of love, every human is."

"What makes you think that love even exists, and is not just a blend of affection and lust?"

"What makes you think it isn't?"

"Rationalism."

"Rationalism…?"

"Being rational."

"L, for goodness sake, you can't just go around detesting the fact that you have emotions."

L frowned, looking down at his fiddling feet with a scowl. "What does Light-kun even care?" L asked a bit sadly, shooting a glance at the doorway where Matsuda and Misa-Misa were. They were gone now, vanished from the corridor - they weren't under surveillance at the moment, since everyone had gone home to do something. L had assured the task-force that he could manage Light himself, and after the fight, everyone had believed him. Light knew this, and so he didn't hesitate to grab a fistful of L's hair and force the detective to look at him.

"L, everyone feels something sometimes," Light insisted a bit angrily, sitting just barely taller than the detective, since they were both sitting down and L didn't have his lengthy legs to make him stand taller.

The raven-haired man's eyes widened slightly, hyperaware of the fact that Light's face was so close to his. It made him extremely uncomfortable, and yet some strange part of him, in the back of his mind, wanted to move closer. He was loosing control, he realized with a fright, his eyes searching over every detail of Light's face. His amber-brown eyes, narrowed to seriousness, his soft looking skin, his tensed, slender jaw, his cheekbones, his scrunched, angrily tilted eyebrows. The expression on his face was one of a passionate debater, someone who truly believed what he was saying. For once, L found himself slipping out of control of himself, his fingers loosing their grip on his own steering wheel.

"How would you know? You cannot see into my head, Light Yagami," L said coldly, but the tone was half hearted. He was having trouble not attacking the other boy. And not with kicks and punches, either, but in an entirely different way - but he couldn't give in to these kinds of feelings. As he had said before: he was much too smart to be giving in to stupid things like lust.

At least, that's what he told himself as the brown-haired boy's eyes flickered with uncertainty and distain, mouth opening just slightly, clearly trying to think of a good response. One that would trump anything L could say.

The brunette came up blank. The raven-haired man was right - he didn't know.

"You really think you don't feel _anything_?" Light asked slowly. He sounded a tiny bit hurt, though even he himself wasn't sure why. L flinched a little, trying to remove himself from Light's grasp, but it only ended with him getting his hair pulled.

"I would appreciate it if Light let go of me," L grumbled. Still trying very hard to resist any urges that would end up badly. Light only moved to make it worse though, his hand releasing his hair only to grip the raven-haired man's shoulder and jerk him closer still, so much so that the raven-haired man could feel the brunette's breath on his mouth.

"I know you would, but it's not going to happen until you admit it," Light told him bluntly, in a controlling way, but his eyes told another story. He was desperate, somehow - he needed proof that the raven-haired man was capable of feeling. Namely, a feeling like affection… or love. He wasn't sure why it even mattered….

_Unless maybe you care about him more than you think._

_But didn't I hate him just a few weeks ago…?_

_Wasn't I mad at him not an hour ago?_

_Where is all this coming from…?_

"Then I will be stuck in your grasp forever," L whispered, not giving in and averting his gaze from the other boy's. Light blinked, licking his lips without really thinking about it, just out of nervousness. It was just a habit for the brunette, but the action drove L a little crazy in the back of his mind, and he squirmed. The action was pointless, though, only causing Light to place his other hand on L's left shoulder, now gripping both of the other man's arms.

"You never give in to anything, do you…?" Light asked quietly, stroking his fingers absently across the raven-haired man's shoulder. L was a little surprised at the man's gentleness. _Weren't you the one I was sure was Kira? Why… why aren't I so sure anymore? What is this sudden change?_

"No, I do not," L replied. It was a lie - he was giving in right now, without knowing it, slowly loosing grip on his control. _Something's got to give… _where had he heard that before?

"Never?" Light murmured, inching closer still. His amber eyes were inches from L's now, drowning the detective in their depths.

"You should never say never," L muttered before he could stop himself, feeling himself give. Before Light realized what he had said the raven-haired boy's resolve snapped. _To hell with it, _he thought, shaking the other boy's grip on his shoulders and shoving him backwards.

The brunette gasped in surprise, at first expecting the raven-haired boy to attack him, but this wasn't the case. L was right after him - not just because of the chain - and dropped down, pressing his own hands on Light's chest, jamming the younger against the chair. There was a certain predatory look in the detectives eyes, none of the cold stoniness, as if a wall had just been shattered right in front of him.

"Ryuzaki…?" Light squeaked before he could control his tone. "What are you…"

He was going to continue that sentence, but the words were lost as the raven-haired man closed in on him, closing the distance between their lips. L didn't know what was coming over him now, unable to control the feelings with rational thoughts at this point. Without even knowing it Light had pushed him over the edge, and into kissing him.

The feeling was an amazing one, even if Light was tense under him his lips were still soft, as he had expected. He tasted unexpectedly sweet, and L wondered how long, in the back of his mind, he had been wanting this.

And then he realized - Light wasn't responding, neither rejecting nor returning the kiss, simply going rigid underneath him. The raven-haired man shivered a little, pulling away immediately at the realization, a strange feeling of rejection coursing through him as he lingered in front of Light's face. The brunette was staring at him with round hazel eyes, his face burning a shade of pink.

L swallowed, trying to regain his composure; for once, this action was a challenge. "I apologize, Yagami-san," L said carefully, and though his voice was steady his hands, which were still rested on Light's chest, were trembling. It felt strange to call him by his last name, but he was trying very hard to stay formal, to make the intimate situation less… "I didn't--"

"Why did you kiss me?" Light interrupted him quietly, amber eyes flickering with uncertainty. L gulped, feeling conflicted between running away (impossible, because of the chains) kissing him again (also not plausible, he'd only be shoved away and it would technically be harassment) and screaming (probably not the best approach either). Instead, he lied. "I'm not sure." He was completely sure - it was because he wanted to, of course. _Though the reason for this was really kind of uncertain…_

"I thought you thought I was Kira," Light whispered, blushing still.

L sighed. "I do think you are Kira. Or at least you are a suspect.""Then why did you kiss me?" Light repeated the question, fidgeting in his seat.

"I have more emotions that I thought," L replied, shrugging his shoulders.

Light narrowed his eyes, uncertain, the kiss still tingling on his lips. He couldn't deny he kind of wanted to kiss him again - _oh, fucking great, I'm gay… should have known… _- but he was still a little unsure. I mean, not, what, two minutes before they had been fighting with each other about weather or not he was Kira. He was hardly ready for any of this.

_This is an opportunity. It could be my last…_

"I am sorry," L said quickly, pulling away from the brunette and shaking his head, face flushed slightly, "I suppose I wasn't thinking about--"

Light acted on instinct, cutting him off and jerking on the chain, forcing the raven-haired boy to stumble forwards again, not letting him make any notable distance away from him, reaching and clutching the panda-eyed man by the shoulders, his fingers tangling in L's white t-shirt. The detective's eyes had gone wide with surprise, but he didn't resist except to move his hands to grasp Light's wrists out of habit and instincts of his own.

"Ryuzaki, _why _did you kiss me?" he demanded, louder than before this time. L's eyes flickered with some emotion the brunette couldn't read, but if he could, he would have recognized it as fear. Not fear of the boy above him, but fear that he would give in to himself and respond with the truth.

"I. Do. Not. Know." L replied slowly, statically, eyes narrowing in a challenge at the brunette above him. Light, expecting this answer, smirked at him.

"Oh really?" he asked challengingly, fingers brushing across L's jaw line just barely. The detective shivered, but did not avert his gaze, keeping it trained on Light's with as much intensity as he could manage. Which turned out to be a lot - he wasn't intense with the challenge itself, but rather intensely set into the moment as it came.

"Yeah, really," L replied bluntly, giving him a blank but challenging gaze. To his surprise, Light smirked; the confident move didn't meet his eyes, but it still made L wince inwardly.

"Well, maybe I can help you figure it out," Light whispered, pressing his hands to the sides of L's face. Inwardly, he was cowering, afraid that the outcome would not be one he was ready to take on, but he continued on with his instinct, more afraid of never knowing.

L's eyes grew wider than they had ever been as the brunette leaned forward, lips brushing the raven haired boy's just barely, a delicate little touch. The detective fought back a shiver, every nerve in his body begging him to let go of his own metaphorical steering wheel and allow himself to crash; the rational part of him knew this wouldn't end well, not in the end.

But for once, L wasn't thinking of the end. For once, both boys were completely and utterly stuck in that one tiny sliver of a moment, seeing the world with tunnel vision just big enough to fit each other into.

Light moved away from the delicate kiss, which had not been returned, and stepped away, the confident smirk on his face not faltering, despite the inner struggle inside his mind. _Why the hell did you do that? Look what you've done! _his mind screamed as the brunette watched, with dismay, the detective go completely tense and stony, his pencil gray eyes completely unreadable; the only hint that he even registered what had happened was his fingers, which had flown to rest on his lips.

Gradually, though, L's face softened to a quizzical look, chewing his thumb as he always did when he was thinking. Light watched worriedly, resisting breaking into a cold sweat. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction. Actually, he expected to either be kissed back or kicked in the face; not this thoughtfulness, not this consideration, not this analyzing. Then again, this was L - everything was analytical.

Finally, L spoke, licking his lips as he did, which made the brunette wince. "Light-kun?""Eh?" Light replied, annoyed by how worried his voice sounded.

L looked up at him with a surprising little curl of a smile on his lips, dark ebony eyes scrunching with the smile. "I think I know why I kissed you, Light-kun."Light gulped, feeling a blush creep involuntarily onto his face. "And why would that be, Ryuzaki?" he managed to sound casual, though his voice had risen a few notes.

L's smile vanished, replaced by a dead serious stare as he replied, "It's because you taste like cake."

Light's amber eyes widened with confusion and shock at the comment, mouth opening to make a shocked noise, but it never got the chance to become audible. The raven haired detective was already on him, crushing his lips back on Light's again for yet another apparently-cake-flavored kiss.

This time, Light kissed back. _Who needs rationalism? Not me._

**A/N: Wahoo! This was so fluffy! Oh well! :D I hope you enjoyed this, it was really kind of random. It was sitting around in my files, half-completed, so I slapped on an ending and posted it on this thing. Because what else is this collection for, right? Right! :D**


	5. Finding You

**A/N: I honest to godly do not remember writing this. I found it in my files and was like "what the hell?" It's from Matt's POV, by the way. He's talking directly to Mello, meaning that he calls Mello "you" instead of "Mello" or "he." Try not to get too confused by that XD you are, in the story sense, not the intended audience for this story. But hell, read it anyway! 8D **

I remember when I found you.

I was scared, shaking as I peeked through the window separating me from the people on the other side. I knew from things that I'd read and saw on crime shows my sister always watched that the window was bullet proof; I also knew I didn't have a gun, so it didn't matter anyway. The man on the left glanced at me through the review mirror and I shrunk back, averting my gaze to settle on my feet, which were suddenly more interesting.

I kept aimlessly attempting to reach for my pocket out of habit, craving a cigarette above anything else. But of course, that was the very habit that had me thrown into the back of this police car. It was difficult thing, trying to reach forward over and over again, since I was cuffed.

Staring at the terribly uninteresting pair of shoes wasn't enough to keep my attention for long; I peeked up at the window leading to the outside. The doors didn't have handles, meaning there was no possibility of me jumping out when we pulled up to a red light. Not that I wanted to - that would only lead to more trouble.

I couldn't believe I got caught. What would happen to me now? It was only shoplifting a pack of cigarettes, but I couldn't pay those kinds of charges… I had plenty of cash available, sure, but it was transacted illegally from company bank accounts. I couldn't exactly give that to the judge. But at least the charges were only for shoplifting. They couldn't be mad at me for smoking cigarettes - they were my poison of choice, and they were 100% legal.

_At least it's only cigarettes. _

Through my goggles I see the dreary neighborhood I was so accustomed to fly by, feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't want to go to jail. I knew what happened in jail, I read books, I watched all the movies. I wasn't a very tough looking guy, what with my being not even seventeen yet. _I am so screwed. _

It wasn't like I wasn't expecting jail to roll around at one point - when I was small, I already expected doing criminal things would be the only thing that would really soothe my urge for excitement and eliminate my easily-bored side of me. Which was exactly why I met you in the first place - we were both troublemakers, bad kids with the worst kind of fame.

But I don't want to think of you. Not right then. So instead I stare out the window until the car pulls into the police station. It's about 10:45 now, but I'm not tired - I don't sleep much now a days. If you don't sleep, you don't dream - my dreams tended to be of memories I didn't want to remember, so sleep was something I avoided until I was at the brink of total exhaustion, and by then I was so deep into slumber I didn't dream at all.

"Come on, kid," the gruff voice of the man opening the door comes from above me, calling me out of my blank state. I blink, just realizing that the car door had opened as the man reached in and grabbed me roughly by the arm; it wasn't necessary to pull me out, I would have willingly gotten out without a complaint, but he does none the less.

Two men, one of which is fat and ugly looking with a long mountain-man beard, the other looking younger and more carefree, lead me into the police headquarters. They ask me some questions, ask for ID - the ID I give them is fake, but they don't seem to notice that Matthew Stevens is a fake, ask me if I want to make a call. I do want to make a call - I want to call _you. _I shake my head no, averting my eyes from the dark ones of the man standing beside me. He's giving me an irritated look. I can tell he thinks I'm just another piece of street trash - maybe he's right.

I'm led down an innocent looking lobby and down a darker looking hallway until I reach the cell I'll be staying in for the night. It seems pretty empty today - I guess not many people get on trouble on Easter Sunday. With a grunt the younger-looking man opens the door and motions me inside, uncuffing me and slamming the door shut with a rickety clang.

I'm shocked at how dark it is in here - if I'd been paying attention, I'd see that the lamps in the hallway outside had burnt out. I don't notice anything in the cell besides me - there's a bed, some benches, and about a million spooky shadows everywhere. Not that I care - I'm not afraid of goddamn shadows, or the dark. In fact, I quite like the dark.

With a sigh I make my way over to the bed, flopping on it's lumpy surface. It creaks with complaint, but I don't pay attention, staring at the ceiling of the cell. I can hear shuffles and whispers from the cells around me, but I can't make out anything specific. Don't even want to - I can smooth talk all day and kick some ass while I was at it, but some criminals just aren't the type you mess with. I was happier just staying uninvolved.

I'm not sure how long I'm sitting there, staring at the ceiling until I hear it.

I don't recognize the voice at first, all I recognize is _loud. _Screaming and cursing and snapping from down the hallway, echoing off the cement walls of the jail. I sit up in my seat, interest perked as I hear the voices come down the hallway.

"Don't touch me, you son of a bitch! I can walk by myself, fuck head - don't think that beard makes you look intimidating, because it doesn't, got it? _I said don't touch me!"_

I hear the footsteps grow closer and more deliberate as the new voice, along with who I believe to be the police that brought me in, and quickly duck my head. Pretending to be uninterested as the footsteps stop outside my cell, not even allowing myself to glance up as the lock on my cell is undone.

"In you go, blondie."

"Fuck you," the voice from before replies coldly, and I hear the clinking as whoever the voice belonged to had their cuffs removed. I lick my lips awkwardly, out of habit, to keep my throat from going dry - I had a cellmate. I wasn't good with people, even fellow criminal people - I keep my gaze on the wall, pressing myself further in the shadows as the cell door slams shut behind me.

"Dammit… screw this god damn jail…" the mutter comes from behind me, from the person. I try to catch a look at the person without looking directly at them, but I only catch a glimpse of leather boots. For a second, I th ink I recognize the voice, but I'm surely mistaken. It's best to just keep my gaze down and ignore everyone, safer that way.

Then I hear the click.

It's not like a game or a lighter kid of click - more like a snap. A familiar snap. More like a snap, or a crunch than a click. A sound I'd heard a million times in my head, only to look up and find that it was all an illusion from old memories. And then I was hearing it again, clearer now, fuddled over with a mutter of "fuck this… fuck this a million times over…"My head snaps up without permission, lips parting in surprise. Surely I'm dreaming, I had to be dreaming. I was _definitely _dreaming, delusional from too many sleepless nights.

I had to be dreaming because it's _you. _You've changed so much, but it's definitely you. The first thing I notice is the hair, still golden and brushed out, still in that feminine haircut. Your face is covered partially by your hair, but I can see the familiar scowl on your face. You have on that rosary, the one I'm so familiar with. You're still wearing all that black, but the leather seemed to have gotten even tighter than the last time I saw you. Your voice has gotten deeper, but you still have the same ranting tone. You've gotten taller, and more muscled, but you're still leathe and skinny.

You see me staring, I can tell, because your lips twitch in irritation, head whipping around to lay a glare on me. I choke in surprise, but I can't make words come to my lips. All I can see is you - you, the you I'd been waiting for for who knows how long. I can't make words come, but somehow my hands more on their own, flying to my face and ripping off the goggles on instinct, following the orders I'd been given at the age of ten even now - _"When you're with me, take off the damned goggles. I want to see those eyes."_

And saw my eyes you did - our eyes met in one of those strange moments, both of us frozen in place, your chocolate bar half way to your mouth, hovering there; your lips are parted slightly in surprise. But I barely notice any of this, because I have full view of _your _eyes now, and I'm drowning in the sapphire blue, overtaken by the view I hadn't seen in so long. I can see the disbelief in their depths, but it's not just that - it's also fear. I'd never known you to be the kind to be afraid, but that was the only way I could describe the look in your eyes.

You, always the stronger of the two of us, regain your composure first, ripping your eyes almost painfully away from mine to glare at his knees. "Fancy meeting you here, Matt," you muttered, a trace of bitter humor in your voice. I don't laugh.

In fact, I do the worst thing I could have thought of at the moment. I state the obvious. "You didn't say goodbye."

You don't reply, staring down at your feet; you're trying to look like you don't care, like it's irrelevant, but I saw you flinch. You turn to me, slowly, and I see the deep pain in your blue eyes as you replied, angry sounding, "Hello to you too, then."

I wince, the old habit of being a loyal puppy coming back into me, and I duck my head. "Sorry," I mutter, because I can think of nothing else to say. You just sigh, not looking away this time, instead just staring at me. I can't explain the expression on your face - you look so sober, so strangely calm, and yet so upset.

A part of me wants to be angry. Part of me wants to just get up and slug you in the face, knock you out of your chair, then kick you when your down. To scream and curse and make you cry out. To make you feel a little of the pain that you made _me _feel.

A part of me wants to be thrilled. Part of me wants to throw myself at you, fling my arms around you and cry into your shoulder. To whisper sweet nothings in your ear and beg you not to leave me again. To tell you that I forgive you and that I missed you. To make you love me like _I _love _you._

Instead I just sit there dumbly, returning the stare. I'm amazed at how much you've changed, and yet you're just the same. I know I'm glaring without really meaning to, because you wince a little, your blankness faltering a bit.

After a moment of this you turn away, biting into your chocolate in a rather violent manner and whipping around to glare at the cell door. I turn away in return, stung - everything in me wants to leap up and start screaming at you - _"SAY SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING, YOU SON A BITCH! YOU LEFT ME, IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS, AND I'M STILL NOT OVER YOU! WE FINALLY MEET AGAIN BY CHANCE IN SOME CRAPPY JAIL CELL, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS 'HELLO'?!? LOOK AT ME!_"

I hear you let out an audible sigh, and when I glance over at you you're fiddling with the wrapper on your chocolate bar, glaring at it with a frustrated look in your eyes. The age-old sign, since the age of about eight years old, that you have something you want to say. I turn away, not giving you the luxury of speaking first.

After a few seconds, I hear you whispering again.

"I'm sorry," you whisper. You're voice is quiet and strange sounding, as if it's some great struggle to make those words come out of your mouth. Maybe, I think, it is.

I scoff, surprising myself at my next words. "No, you're not. The great Mello is never sorry," I replied. My voice isn't angry - I'm not angry. It's just the truth.

You sigh. "Not for leaving you. For not saying goodbye," you clarify. I blink in surprise - you sound uncharacteristically sincere. I turn to look at you, hearing my own heart pound in my chest. I know it's stupid to forgive you so soon, but when I turn to look at you, you're looking back. You know I can never say no to those eyes, especially now that they look like they're threatening to tear up.

"Then why didn't you?" I whisper, the words almost painful on my tongue.

You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes, the expression bittersweet on your face. "Because then I wouldn't be able to leave."

I don't think twice. I slide off of the bed and throw my arms around you without restraint, not pausing even when you gasp in surprise - irritation? - crushing you into a hug. I know I'm hugging you too tight, but I don't care, burying my face into your hair. You still smell the same.

"Matty…" you growl. The words are a warning that I ignore, only caring to pay attention to the familiar way you fit against me, even when you've gone stiff in resistance to the embrace.

"I missed you so much, Mells," I whispered, the pain in my voice evident. I feel you shudder beneath me, but I pay no heed, my grip on your shoulders tightening as I pull away to face you. You're expression is a pained one, your lips pressed tight into a stubborn line; I want to kiss you. But I don't.

"Let go of me, Matt," You whisper. It's not a request.

I disobey for once, though, my body refusing to release you even if I wanted to. I wince, feeling words rushing to me from god knows where, desperate and high-pitched. "Mello, _please… _don't act like you didn't miss me, too. I can't believe I found you now, you can't act like you're going to leave me again…"

You cut me off. You do that a lot, even now. "I'm not the same boy you knew before, Matt. Let go of me." You're voice is cold as your icy blue eyes. I shiver, the instinct to release you strong from years of obedience.

I surprise myself with the strength in my tone as I reply. "No."

Your eyes flicker with surprise as well, mirroring my own inner shock. When was the last time I'd said no to you? _Was there _a last time? You're face falls a bit, pain evident in your eyes.

"You've changed," you whispered.

"So have you," I reply quietly. Then I slip away, but only enough to meet your eyes, still having a hold around your waist. You're curvier than you were before in the hip area, which doesn't seem possible but is. You look cruder than before, crueler, as if your already sharp exterior had been sharpened.

You sigh, shaking you head and looking down at the floor. You look frustrated, infuriated, and quite upset as you hiss, "Fuck it, Matt. If it were anyone but you, there would be a dead body on the floor, and it sure as hell wouldn't be mine." I smile, because this means I'm still special. You glare at me. "I can't believe you found me."

"I can't either," I replied. My voice is happy and relieved, just like I feel. I also feel determined - there's no way I'm going to let go of you. Even in the crappy dim light of the jail I can see every curve of you, the familiar glint in your icy blue eyes, the feminine curve of you face. You still haven't gotten rid of that haircut, the one that makes people mistake you for a girl - I'm glad. If you didn't have it, you would have changed too much. I'm glad you still refuse to cut it short.

You smile a little - not a happy smile, but rather a distant one, as if you're remembering a time when you were happy. The kind of smile you stick on at a funeral, when someone's talking about someone who had died, a joyful time that they had a long time ago, and you smile because you remember, but inside, you're still screaming and wailing your heart out.

"I guess trying to get away from you isn't going to work, is it?" you mutter, laughing a bit. You're laugh is still a giggle, like a girls - I smile, because I love that. And then the smile twists into a smirk, and I tighten my grip around your waist.

"Nope. Not in a million years," I whispered honestly, grinning.

"So I can't just leave and pretend this never happened?" you try, as if you really want that. If I hadn't seen your eyes, I would have believed you, but the icy depths in those orbs tell me the real story - you don't want me gone, not really. Maybe this new Mello does, this criminal you, but not the you that I know.

"Yeah. Over my dead body," I whispered, grinning at you. You don't seem happy about it, but you grin back, unable to help yourself.

If only I knew how true that would turn out to be.

**A/N: OH, and i'd just like to apologize for spamming all of the imboxes for those of you who may or may not have me on author watch. XD' I updated wayyy too much today (four chapters of a new story - this one - and two chapters of heartburn.) Intensity, man, intensity! :C**


	6. Behind the Name

"Hey Matt?"

Matt paused his game immediately, something he did only for one person - the person who happened to be flopped on the couch beside him. "Yeah, Mello?"

The blonde tapped his chocolate bar against his lips thoughtfully, looking at Matt. "You know how your name is Mail?" he began quizzically, frowning.

Matt blinked at the mention of his real name. "Yeah?"

Mello smiled a little.

"Mail like Male."

"Yeah…?"

A bigger smile. "So then…" he began, a smile inching across his face. "If you were to get a gender change, you would be FeMail Jeevas?"

Matt narrowed his eyes, a blush flashing across his face before shoving Mello's shoulder, sending him toppling with great hysterical laughter off of the couch. "Get out."

**A/N: You can blame Luna for this short little blah blah blah XD this is based on a conversation we had at lunch. Hooray for bad puns!**


	7. Practically Pornography

**A/N: If you've ever seen Evony Online advertisements, you know what I'm talking about here. I don't own Evony Online (thank god) or Death Note, by the way. Just in case your retarded and this isn't obvious by now.**

"AUGH. MATT!"

The redhead seated on his chair sighed with exasperation, spinning around on his chair from which he had been playing The Sims on his computer at to look at his blonde roommate. Said roommate was flopped on the couch, a scowl on his face and a laptop balanced on his knee.

"What do you want, Mell?" Matt asked dejectedly, slightly annoyed to be torn from his game - he hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and by the tone of Mello's voice, he wanted something done for him.

"If I see another god dammed advertisement, I'm going to scream!" Mello shrieked - already screaming - a wildly angry look on his face as he clutched the laptop. Afraid for the device Matt sprung out of his chair, sweeping the computer off of the blonde's lap and into the safety of his own as he plopped beside his friend on the chair. He was mildly surprised to find him on photo bucket, but then the surprise faded when he saw that he was looking at Anti-Kira icons (which would probably be removed by the Pro-Kira force sooner or later).

Sure enough, there were ad's littering the screen.

"What's the problem, their just advertisements," Matt replied blandly, raising his eyebrows. Mello hissed in irritation and changed the tab to another window, pointing angrily at the screen with frustration in his eyes.

"You call that JUST an advertisement? That has a _half naked woman _on it! That's practically pornography!" Mello complained angrily, eyes flickering with annoyance. Sure enough, there it was, a practically naked below-the-neck shot of an extremely busty but attractive woman. "You can't even see her face!"

Matt chuckled at the flustered look on Mello's face, shaking his head. "You really are the gayest man alive, aren't you?"

"No, Adam Lambert and Magnus Bane have me beat," Mello replied bluntly, then sighed, scrolling down the screen and changing the page to the next array of Anti-Kira icons. Sure enough, a similar advertisement showed up, this one even worse than the last.

"Oh, yes, _'come play my lord_,'" Mello mimicked in a sarcastic voice, using a false, sexy-girl voice when quoting the advertisement, rolling his words out in a breathy, heated voice, the sarcasm only slightly bleeding through until he finished the words. "Can't I just look up pictures in peace!?"

Matt laughed again, swinging around and leaning back on the couch, crossing his legs purposefully before turning to look at his partner, grin still apparent on his face. "Mello?" he spoke up cheerfully.

Mello didn't look up, eyes trained on the screen. "What?" he asked absently.

"Don't ever use that voice again, or I will not hesitate to rape you."

Mello grinned.

"I'll keep that in mind."

**A/N: I don't own Magnus Bane, no matter how much I wish I did. He's from Mortal Instruments, which I also do not happen to own. Oh, and I obviously don't own Adam Lambert either - that would be **_**slavery. **_**And slavery is bad. And also the topic I should be writing for my social studies project right now, but instead I'm writing this. Fuck.**

**...somehow I get the feeling that Mello will take advantage of that voice someday soon, don't you? XDD**


	8. Mirrors

**A/N: Well, as far as I know there is exactly ONE person reading these things XD which is pretty sad. But I didn't really expect much else, since in retrospect I'm still pretty new to this site. I'm no Dlvvanzor… at least, not yet! :D I hope I'll be good enough to be compared to those guys someday, though… Anyways, I hope you enjoy this next drabble, I guess… oh, and this is JUST FRIENDSHIP between B and L, not even that really. :P so don't think I like L/B, cuz I don't. XP**

"Lawliet, you sleeping?"

L groaned angrily at the voice that was prodding him from across the room. Maybe, he thought, if he ignored it, it would just go away. But he recognized the voice, and even in his young age he had deduced enough about each person he came in counter with to know that this would not be the case.

With a sigh, he replied, "I thought I instructed you not to call me by my real name, B. That could be a serious problem later in life." He didn't know how right he was at the time, though he was fairly certain of this.

His mirror chuckled from across the room, flipping the lights on. The brightness stung L's eyes and he squeezed them shut for a moment to regain himself before opening them again, turning to look at the dark haired boy lingering in the doorway. He knew B as his backup, or his copy, along with A (Alternate) and C (Copy) and countless others, but he didn't want to think about that right now. He wouldn't ever tell anybody this, but it made him vaguely uncomfortable just how like him the first generation of successors were, especially Beyond. He wouldn't be mistaken for him at the moment, though, his face and shirt stained with jam, red eyes glittering with mischief.

"What is your reason for awakening me, Backup?" L asked bluntly, using the full name of his abbreviation. It was something that the Wammy's boys, even the "goal", used when annoyed with another, much like a mother using a middle and last name when addressing a misbehaving child.

B scoffed. "Whatever, _Lawliet, _I was only being friendly," he chided, stalking over and flopping on the bed beside him. Had anyone been around to see them, they would have appeared to be twins - even though B was a bit younger than L, they were the same size, and very similar looking, only mirrored. L glanced over at his living reflection, the usual blank look on his face.

"Friendly? It is very late, B, interrupting someone's nighttime activity is not kindness," he reminded him bluntly. B only grinned at him.

"As if you ever sleep, panda-eyes," B chided, reaching over and poking the black rings around L's eyes. L swatted his hand away irately, though his eyes were smiling.

"Whatever, eye shadow-boy," he mocked, voice teasing. He repeated the motion of poking the rings around the other's eyes, but when he did the blackness smudged and left a residue on his finger.

BB suddenly glared at him, a deadly flare in his red gaze, and shoved L away from him. The raven haired boy squeaked in surprise, eyes widening. "Jerk-off. You're not any better than me," he snapped, irritation in his voice.

L sighed and averted his gaze, choosing to look at the wall in front of him instead of the boy glaring at him. B was always like this - L could never quite figure out if B idled him, liked him, or hated his guts. Perhaps it was all three.

The mirrored boy suddenly spoke up again, his voice going from angry to docile once again. "K told me that we are the test dummies for making an L successor," B whispered, rocking back and forth a bit in his seat, sitting in the same fashion that the other boy always did. "That we are expected to fail."

L did not lie to him, because there was no reason to. "That is correct, BB," he replied blankly, a slightly unhappy tone to his voice. He told himself not to get attached to the fellow orphans, but he was a child at the time, and, genius or not, he _did _get attached. "But I hope that, even if you do not become L, you will all go into the world and create justice in your own ways. You are all capable."

"You're just saying that, aren't you?" B retorted, but his voice wasn't angry, still sober and apathetic. L sighed and leaned to the side, so t hat his shoulder bumped the other boy's slightly, before returning to his position. He wasn't sure why he did it, he had seen it in a chick flick or something once, but it made B smile, so it was okay.

"I'm not just saying that," L replied after a second, a bit defensively. "I do not say things that I do not believe. At least, not for things like this."

"Things like this?" B asked quizzically.

"Things not involving cases. Things involving my successors. Things involving justice," L elaborated, voice suddenly a bit wistful. There was a slight tug of a smile on his young lips, and he moved his head downwards in attempt to hide the expression beneath his bangs. B still caught it though, and he grinned in response, his usual creepy jack-o-lantern grin. It didn't frighten L, though - he, like most of the Wammy's crew, was used to this; plus, he was a smart boy - he could see that the smile met his eyes, no matter how awkward it looked on his face.

For a long while the two boys just sat there in the dim light, both so like the other at first glance, and yet so different at the same time. Mirrors of one another, in more ways than one, side by side in the darkness of the room, the silvery white light of the moon though the window washing over them. For a long moment, there was only silence.

Then it was broken, and the moment retreated.

"You know, L, sometimes," he began suddenly, red eyes flickering thoughtfully, "Some days, I think I'm going crazy in here."

L smiled a bit, letting out a sigh and closing his eyes. Letting the words that B said sink in. After a long moment, his eyes opened again, looking up at the other boy. Meeting his ruby red eyes with his pencil gray ones.

"Yeah. Me, too."

**A/N: Hum… this was weird. I'm really not sure where it came from. Oh well, who wants cake!? 8D**


	9. Brainfreeze

Matt lounged lazily on the ugly yellow couch that he had shared with his roommate for as long as he could remember, staring blankly at the roof above his head and listening to Mello rant and, much like a girl, take out his emotions on personal-size container of Ben&Jerry's chocolate-fudge ice-cream.

"God! That fucking--" Bite of ice-cream here. "--Near! The fucking twit! I can't believe--" Giant bite of ice-cream here, along with peeved growl. "--that he beat me! Again! On the fucking _tie breaker test. _That was my CHANCE Matty!" Insert girly squeal-screech of annoyance, then five hasty bites of chocolaty goodness without time for oxygen between. "Damn him!"

Matt rolled his eyes. "You're so mellow-dramatic," he teased, nudging the blonde beside him with a glint in his emerald eyes. Mello scowled at him.

"That wasn't funny the hundredth time you said it, Matty, and it's not funny now," he snapped, shoving another towering bite of frozen delight into his mouth. Matt had to wonder his Mello even fit such enormous bites into his mouth, but then again, this was Mello and Mello did not waste time on his chocolate.

Matt grinned at him, lounging back on the couch again and kicking his legs up on the table. "Posh. Sorry if you have no sense of humor."

"Sorry if _you _suck at telling jokes," Mello retorted gloomily, shoveling ice-cream into his mouth in a complaining manner. There was redness around his eyes from angry tears, accompanied by dull black rings from lack of sleep the previous nights, spend instead by studying, and he had messy little splotches of chocolate ice cream around his mouth. Matt felt a gentle smile on his face as he tilted his head to watch the blonde, taking him in with his eyes as he shoveled ice cream remorsefully into his mouth.

Suddenly, out of no where, Mello shrieked. The redhead almost jumped out of his goggles in surprise, watching as his companion's hands flew to his temples, the ice-cream container being thrown to the table - luckily it landed without any noticeable spill.

"Mel?" he questioned with surprise, reaching out to help him, but was swatted away.

"BRAINFREEZE!" Mello cried dramatically shaking his head with a desperately aggregated look in his eyes. "I HAVE A BRAINFREEZE!"

Matt barked out a laugh before he could help himself, grin splitting his face in two. "Just rub your tongue on the roof of your mouth," he suggested amusedly, emerald eyes dancing with amusement.

Mello gave him a look. "As if that really works," he grumbled, rubbing his temples uselessly. The brain freeze refused to escape his system, and he cursed under his breath.

Matt grinned, an idea coming to his mind, and he snuggled closer to the blonde. Before the other boy could object he dipped down, crushing his lips on the other boys and parting them without permission. Mello gasped in surprise, face brightening as Matt's tongue found it's way into his mouth. To his great embarrassment, he ended up taking the problem into his own hands - err, well, mouth - rubbing his own tongue against the roof of the other's mouth.

After a few seconds of this make out/brain freeze-rescue-mission Matt pulled away, a huge grin on his face. Mello's face was priceless, mouth hanging open partially, entire face bright red with blush in response.

"What the hell?" he said after a second of shock, nose scrunching up in an adorable fashion. Matt laughed.

"Did the brain freeze go away?" he asked.

"Wot?" Mello squeaked, a little bit of British accent leaking through from his many years spent in Brittan, despite actually being German. Matt laughed again.

"The brain freeze. It's gone, yeah?" he repeated, emerald eyes dancing with amusement as the blonde's face scrunched up thoughtfully, hand flying to touch his temple again. Surprise filled their blue depths after a moment.

"Holy hell. It is gone!"

Matt simply burst into laughter once again as the blonde darted forward, continuing his attack on his chocolate ice-cream once more, the brain freeze - and the rescue - temporarily forgotten in the need for chocolate bliss.

**A/N: This occurred to me during an instant-message conversation with Luna-chan, actually. I was eating the ice cream in the fan fiction - Ben and Jerrys, same flavor and all - when I had this realy horrible brain freeze and started freaking out and rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth. Whilst doing this, I had an epiphany. This was it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own death note, ice cream, ben, or jerry.**


	10. Fragrence

**A/N: Gwen Stefani's L perfume. Look it up if you don't know what it is, and watch the advertisement. THEN you'll get this.**

"Uh, Light-kun? What are you doing?" L chided, peeking up at the brunette he was referring to over the top of his laptop screen. Said brunette was in front of the mirror, a small multicolored cube in his hand with a very small fake-gold nozzle on the top of it.

"Getting ready," Light told him bluntly. His tone was contradicted by a mischievous little grin.

L narrowed his eyes, slipping off of his chair and plodding over to get a better look. When he spied the label, he gasped. "Is that… _L perfume?" _he cried, the Gwen Stefani induced label staring back at him with his very own name, same font and all. "Why!"

"Because…" Light smiled and spritsed himself several times before plunking the bottle down on the table and spring on his heel to face the other man. The insomniac shrunk back a bit as Light leaned forward, eyes narrowing as a brazen smile graced his lips, a breathy, mimicking whisper vocalizing the rest of his sentence.

"_I want you all over me."_

**A/N: AHHHHH… you can blame Clover and clever YouTube comments for this one XD Sorry if this is really obscenely random or if it caused you nosebleeds. HUZZAH. Anyways, I couldn't resist doing this. Don't be mad at Gwen for using L's symbol – she's a desperate fangirl, just like us! XD Okay, or not, but whatever! XDDD I WANT L ALL OVER ME, TOO! Too bad for us – he's gay. : / works for Lighto, though.**


	11. Oh, damn it

Mello watched with impatience and anticipation, staring down the white-haired boy from his place in the afterlife. It wasn't something he did on a regular basis, watching this guy, this _Near _guy, but today was different.

Today Near was reading his book.

He watched as Near's eyes flicked over the pages, turning each of them quickly, taking in the pages with speed most people would be awed at. Not Mello, though – he could read even faster than the albino twit could, something he took pride in but rarely acted upon since it ruined the reading experience. Grinding his teeth he leaned forward, looking over Near's shoulder and causing the albino to shiver and glance to the side. Of course, he couldn't see the blonde standing there beside him, since he was a ghost of course. Dismissing it as a breeze from the open window across the way he went back to reading.

Mello watched for about fifteen minutes for a reaction of some kind, a grin spreading across his face as the albino boy's eyes widened just slightly here and there, or his blank expression twisted into a smile or a frown or a rare little 'oh…' of thoughtful unsureness.

After a long moment Near turned to face Mello, placing the book down on the table. He wasn't looking at the blonde, though, but rather the dark haired man that seemed to be perpetually beside him.

"Well?" Gevanni voiced Mello's insistent thoughts, though his voice was much kinder than the blonde's would have been. Near gave the book a blank glance.

"He misspelled L's true name on page 151," he said bluntly, dark ebony eyes glinting. For a second, it was as if he knew Mello was watching, a contempt little smile touching his lips for an instant.

Mello gasped in disbelief, grabbing his own ghost-copy of the book through his memories and flying through the pages in his mind. Sure enough, there it was – Lawleit instead of Lawliet. _Of all the things to misspell..._ The blonde slammed his foot uselessly against the table, screeching though nobody living could hear him.

"DAMN IT!"

Somewhere, a redhead started laughing.

* * *

**A/N: I saw that he did this while rereading Another Note and i couldn't resist. XD Sorry that i'm taking away from the time i should b****e working on Heartburn with, but I'm kidn of having some writers block on the story and… yeah. Don't worry, that's WAY far from being anything permanent. I know w hat' going to happen, I'm just on a lazy-streak as far as actually getting it down on a word doc. Patience! For now, enjoy this pointless blah.**


	12. Goodbye Letter

**A/N: Well, it's like midnight right now and I really should be asleep, but I watched The Grudge with Clover today and… let's just say sleeping's not going to be an option until I'm so exhausted that it's unavoidable. So yeah… I wrote this instead of sleep. Everyone (and their mother) has written a fic like this… sorry for not being original.**

* * *

_**Open this after I drive away, and not before. That's an order, Matty. -Mello**_

* * *

Mail,

I feel like a complete sap writing this. You understand this, yeah? A SAP. It's not something I feel like a lot, by the way, but I do feel like one writing this damn letter. But none the less, here I am, writing it even though I HATE feeling like a sap or anything even close to a sap. It was extremely difficult to write, too. I had to try like eight times to make it feel meaningful, before deciding that making it meaningful wouldn't even be meaningful to you, because it wouldn't be like me at all. So I'm writing you this like I'd write you anything else, because I know you well enough to know that that's what you would want. It was even harder to bring myself to shove this into your pocket for you to read before we left – it was way too… final. Proof that I was going to march off to my death, and with this ridiculously sappy letter to prove it. So you better feel pretty damn special.

Before I continue, though, I'd like to make this clear – if ANYONE is reading this besides the person this is titled to – MATT – then I suggest you leave. If I survive the next twenty four hours, I'll come and murder you. If I don't, I'll haunt your sorry ass until you kill yourself. So just get out. _This means you, Near. _Twit…

Now that that's out of the way… you already know why I'm writing this. It's because I'm not going to be alive much longer. If I'm right (which I sincerely hope I'm not) then you will be, too. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that we both somehow survive kidnapping Takada, make it back to this stupid apartment, and that I have time it grab this stupid note and burn it before you can get the chance to do something really stupid, like keeping it forever for some lovey shit reason. I can't have that, because it would make me look like even more of a sap.

But that's probably not going to happen. I'm going to die. In fact, it would be a miracle for me to survive at all. And I don't believe in miracles.

If anything, you might survive. I'm hoping that you do, sincerely. I don't want you to die, even if Heaven (or Hell. Or Limbo. Or whatever fucked-up afterlife there may or may not be) will be lonely without you. You should be able to live. You deserve it more than I do.

If you do survive, though…

Let me be frank, Matt. I'm not going to be one of those lovey-dovey romance-novel guys who asks you to move on. To find someone else after I'm gone. Don't. _Seriously. _Do not move on. It would just be… wrong for you to date anyone else. Go fuck a whore if you want sex, I don't care really, but don't… _move on_. Don't cuddle with someone else, don't write cheesy love poems for some other guy, don't follow anyone else like the helpless puppy that you are, don't crawl in anybody else's bed when you have a nightmare, and don't let them crawl in either. Don't let our memories overlap with anyone else's. That would hurt too much.

That sounds selfish. In fact, it _is _selfish. I'm a generally selfish person. But then again, you already knew that.

But Matt, not loving anybody else doesn't mean don't _live. _I want you to live. To go out there and see parts of the world that I never got to see, go out and take that trip I promised you but was lying, go to those stupid nerdy gamer conventions, go to some crazy Adam Lambert concert and make a fool of yourself, get some fresh air for once, make some _friends, _eat the remainder of my abandoned chocolate hoard. Keep living, even if I don't get to. Don't let yourself die with me. I _don't own you, _Matt. I love you, you love me, but I don't own you, nor vice versa. Don't let me dying keep you from living. It would hurt more than death to know that I did that to you.

Despite the non-ownership thing, I need to contradict myself for a second. I have a few orders for you, before I die. They're easy. Just… please?

The first one's obvious, and I doubt you could disobey even if you wanted to, but just in case… don't forget me. There aren't very many people who even know I exist, really, and those who do see me in the wrong light. You're the only one who _really _knows me. So don't forget me. Don't forget the me I was at Wammys House, and don't forget the me who I was pre-scar-mafia, nor the me that was post-scar-mafia. You know what I'm talking about. Just don't' forget.

Second… when I told you that the picture from Wammys, the one you wrote that "dear mello" shit on the back of it, was the last pictures… I was lying. I couldn't bring myself to burn the photo album you put together. I shoved it under the floorboards, in our old bedroom. Nobody has found it yet, but I bet Near will if he ever searches, the little twit. If you survive, I want you to go and get it before he can. You deserve it.

Third, don't use your real name. Anywhere. Ever. Kira can't have you. And even after Kira's gone, keep your alias. It's safer that way.

And fourth… tell Near… I'm sighing right now, because this is irritating to admit. But tell Near… he was right about me. I'm not the L successor. I never will be. Tell him that I should have been nicer to him. Tell him I'm sorry that I picked on him so much. Tell him I'm sorry for almost shooting him in the head, and that I never would have really killed him, e ven if he is an annoying snowball. And tell him that I shouldn't have refused to work with him on the Kira case. If I had worked with him, we wouldn't be here right now, Matt. We could have been a trio, you know? I was thinking… that maybe we could have been happy. Maybe not, like, the three musketeers buddy-buddy, but at least… we wouldn't be almost dead. We'd probably have caught Kira by now.

Wishing for what-if's are pointless now, though. But I'm still sorry.

Yuck. Admitting defeat is revolting. Let's never do it again, alright?

I'm feeling stupid again, for writing this. I feel so sick inside, too. I've never been so horrified before, not like this. Not when my parents died, not when I got shipped off to some orphanage, not when I was forced to blow up the mafia building, not when I saw that my face had melted off, not when I left you at Wammys, not even when L died.

Now that I'm going to die, now that _you're _going to probably die… I can feel all the pented up fear leaking through. And, redundant as it is… it's scary.

The fear is scary. Especially because I'm starting to realize it – I'm not brave. Bravery isn't not being afraid, like I am. Not being afraid is just arrogance. Bravery knows you're scared, shaking in your boots and almost shitting your pants, then stepping up and doing the damn thing anyway, because it's what you have to do. That's bravery. All this time, I'm pretty sure you've been brave for the both of us.

I have to be brave now. I have to go out there and _die_. For L.

Please, Matt. Forgive me for doing this to you. This sounds really big-headed, but it's the truth: I know I'm your _reason. _Your reason for… living, I guess. You proved that when I left you, you fucking suicidal jerk. What I mean is… I'm sorry for taking me away from you. Leaving you is even harder than leaving my life – believe me when I say that, alright? The only person I care for more than myself, and L, is _you. _

I don't have to tell you that, though. I know you already know, don't you? You always do. You're smarter than you look. Brilliant. I could never understand why you never used that knowledge to the extent that it could have been why you never studied enough to surpass me, to surpass Near, to surpass _L. _At least, I pretended not to. But I really do – you think I would be mad at you if you surpassed me. You thought I'd turn on you like I turned on Near.

Fuck. You're probably right.

I hope that you forgive me. I know that you will – you've always been the type to forgive way too easily. You forgive everything too easily. Hell, I left you for years then call you up out of the blue for some bullshit "lol hey Matt, I totally ditched you, but hey… please program this missile, yeah?" And what do you do? You just go right ahead and accept it. Pathetic, really.

Thank god you're so pathetic. What would I do without you?

I'll tell you – not be writing this stupid love letter. Son of a bitch.

I didn't mean that. The son of a bitch thing, I mean. I'm writing in pen, though – I don't have time nor the effort to get white out to fix it, especially since that bottle of magic paint is sitting on the bedside table, and you're still sleeping at 12:00PM like the lazars that you are. So I can't go back and white out the bullshit that I didn't mean, so sorry.

I don't mean a lot of what I say, really. It all just kind of comes out in one crazy blurt. You've learned to accept that, and for that you are a saint. Saint Matthew. Heh. The irony kills me, honestly it does.

I'm rambling now, I know. You know, too. You know I'm rambling on with pointless things to avoid the point of this note. The point, which is that we are going to die.

I need to leave. I need to wake you up and tell you that it's time to go. That it's time to leave and go on some crazy suicide mission to kick Kira's sorry arse indirectly.

I wish, I wish so bad, that I could change it. I wish that I could send someone else in to do this instead of me, but it's something I have to do, you understand. I wish that I could bring myself to leave you here on the bed, to let you sleep through this, but you would never forgive me – I couldn't leave you again. I wish that I could just pretend to forget, pretend to miss my cue, or that the alarm didn't go off, but I can't do that – Kira has to be stopped. I wish I could make this someone else's problem, but I can't – it's my problem weather I like it or not. I almost wish that I could just toss the problem off to Near, but I won't – much as the little twit hates it, he can't do this himself. This is a job for me, for you, for _us. _As much as I might wish, I've gone up as far as I can go, and what goes up… must fall again.

Forgive me for dragging you down with me.

You're probably smirking at me for this. Or crying. I can never tell how you'll react, not with things like this. It's painful to say so, but it's true. I hope, sincerely, that you're smiling. And that you'll keep on smiling when I'm gone. You're smile's addictive, I should know. You forced me to smile.

Smile more. Maybe, if we're lucky, the world will smile with you.

-Mihael Keehl

P.S. I love you. Don't _ever_ forget it. That's an order, Matty.


	13. A Grudge

"Matty. What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Mello's voice was thick with both irritation and amusement as he peeked around the edge of the doorframe, peering into the room he shared with his best friend, Matt, at age 10. Said roommate was currently on the floor, in fetal position, a blanket over his head, shaking like a leaf.

The redhead didn't reply for a long time, peeking out from under the blanket and giving the blonde a wide-eyed look from behind his goggles. Mello frowned at him, crossing his arms and tapping his foot in impatience.

Finally, Matt ducked his head and covered it with blanket again, muttering a response under his breath. Mello frowned, not hearing him correctly. "A grudge? You're mad at me?" he whispered in a surprised, slightly worrisome tone. Matt shook his head hastily under the covers, daring to peek out at his friend from under the Mario blanket.

"Oi, no," he clarified a bit louder now, so that the blonde could hear him. "I watched _The Grudge. _The movie." Mello cocked an eyebrow at him, trying to recall the movie title in his head. He only vaguely remembered it as being a famous horror movie, originating in Japan; that was as much as Mello could remember about the film. From the nervous look on Matt's face, though, it must have been quite the scare. Without bothering to wait for a second response, Matt buried himself in the blanket again.

Mello sighed, trying to recollect himself from the amused state he had been in, barely managing to make his voice sound comforting. "Matty, it's just a movie."

"You didn't watch it," Matt replied shakily, curling tighter into the bundle of blanket. Mello could only roll his eyes; the redhead glared at him. "Seriously! It was scarily relative."

Mello rolled his eyes again, plopping down on the floor beside him and managing to nudge himself under the covers with the redhead. Had the lights not been off in the room, he would have seen Matt blush in response. "I'm sure it's not that scary. Let me watch it."

"No. _No way _in hell I'm watching it again," Matt cried, voice jumping an octave. Mello rolled his eyes for a third time, and Matt blushed a bit. He was embarrassed with himself for acting so weak around his friend – who he also happened to be crushing on – but he couldn't help it! He hated scary movies!

Mello sighed, seeing the dead serious look on his friend's face after a second. "Come _on, _Matt," he tried again, giving him an insistent, pleading look. "I want to see it. It would make me really happy… doesn't Matt-kun want me to be happy?" he whispered in his best innocent voice. He knew he was pushing it using that card on the redhead, but unsurprisingly it seemed to work, the resolve on Matt's face weakening.

"I _do, _I _do…_" he relented admittedly, curling around in the comforter a bit, mostly in effort to hide his blush. Mello flashed a victorious smile.

"Good!" he chirped, leaning over and clicking the 'rewind' button on the DVD player. Matt squirmed at the lack of contact with the blonde, glancing at the shadows that had formed under the bed. Was that a face he saw for a second…? No, no, he was imaging again of course. Still, he buried his face in the blanket none the less. Mello sighed. "Besides, movies are never as scary the second time. You'll be fine!"

Matt squirmed in disapproval at the comment, not quite believing him, but his reluctance was draining away as the blonde settled down beside him, the close contact causing a blush. Mello was pretending not to notice the contact, a grin on his face, but he was fighting to stay casual himself.

"Well," Matt tried again, voice reluctant, "Won't _you _get scared?"

Mello paused before giving Matt a disbelieving look, cocking an eyebrow at him. After a second of causing Matt to blush under the gaze, he flashed a dangerous smirk. "I'm not afraid of _anything,_" he replied brazenly, letting out a chuckle as the menu appeared on the TV screen. The look on Matt's face daring him to tease the blush even more forward, he added rather coyly, "Besides… I've got you to protect me, _Matty."_

That shut Matt up, and earned Mello a glimpse of a blush that matched the other boy's hair.

By the end of the film, Mello had contradicted himself, and Matt was torn between laughing, crying, and hiding under the covers again.

Mello's jaw was set in an attempt to look unaffected by the film, but his blue eyes were wide as dinner plates, trembling fingers digging half-moon notches into the place where he had gripped Matt's hand. The redhead hadn't complained at the contact, actually quite enjoying it, but feeling Mello tremble and flinch in surprise and fear at the most frightening parts only sent him into more of a fright, and he found himself cuddling closer to Mello for more reasons than just wanting to be close to him.

The movie ended leaving them both shaken, though the blonde didn't seem to want to refuse it. "That wasn't so bad," he tried, the faux-casual tone broken by the way his eyes darted around the room, checking for any sign of spooks. Matt felt the urge to laugh and hide all at once again.

"You lied to me," he accused rather than remind Mello that he had screamed like a little girl at the 'no jaw on Yoko' scene. "It was just as scary the second time!"

"That's because you're a fucking baby," Mello muttered weakly, moving to smack Matt on the shoulder but instead finding his arm gone traitor, wrapping itself uncertainly around his waist. With only a second of hesitation, Matt wrapped his arm around Mello as well, returning the squeeze. For a second, they both relaxed, only to have the old orphanage creak under their shift of weight, making Matt squeak in response.

Mello decided not to comment on the noise, for he had choked down his own yelp, instead burying his face in Matt's neck. Because of the position, he didn't notice the blush on Matt's face; too busy hiding his own in the redhead's shirt.

After a long while of just sitting there, listening to the eerie credits music, Mello spoke up again, voice creeped out. "Hey Matt?"

Matt paused uncertainly before replying, knowing the tone in Mello's voice as one that meant he had knowledge that he really didn't want to know, like the time when he came upstairs to inform him how babies were made one frightful seven-year-old day, which was almost as horrifying as when Mello told him, at age nine, what Sodomy actually was. Oh, those were the days right there.

Shaking himself out of his mini-flashback, Matt managed a reply. "What, Mells?"

Mello pulled away from Matt, worried look on his face. "I just realized… Matt, what if Wammys has a Grudge?" he whispered. Matt gave him a shocked, angry look, suspecting the blonde of just trying to scare him and preparing to smack the other boy silly when he broke into laughter. After a second of the stare-down, though, he realized Mello was being serious.

"Why the hell would Wammy's have a grudge…? That's stupid," he replied, though the confidence of his words was not matched by his voice, which was quavering and uncertain. Mello winced, blue eyes flickering.

"Yeah, but… well, I know, but if Grudge's _were _real," Mello rephrased carefully, tapping his lips with his finger in a thoughtful way before continuing, "well, I mean, Wammy's is a pretty good candidate if there ever was one. Beyond Birthday and A stayed in this very room, and just think of what happened to _them._" Matt's face paled, green eyes widening, and Mello shivered. "_Exactly_."

There was a long pause, both of them settling uncomfortably beside each other. Both completely certain that Grudge's couldn't be real and yet both still peeking over their shoulder at the random shadows and flinching whenever the ancheinet orphanage creaked.

After a long moment, though, it was Matt who started to laugh. Mello's eyes widened and he looked over at the redhead, looking at him with disbelief as he started to chuckle to himself. "What the fuck are you laughing at?" he demanded accusingly, blush tainting his cheeks before he could stop it. Matt stopped laughing in response, though he was still grinning.

"Nothing, it's just… we're being so silly. It's just a movie," he replied, unsure if he was trying to convince Mello or himself. The blonde chuckled humorously, shaking his head.

"You're so right. We're being ridiculous," Mello agreed cheerlessly. Both of them chuckled in a nervous fashion, trying to seem brave and unfrightened.

The laughing stopped immediately when the noise started to be heard. It was a creaky, groaning noise that was all too familiar and horrifying. Both of them froze up at the noise, waiting for it to turn and just be a bed squeaking next door or someone's weight shifting, but it only started to become louder and more pronounced; each of their eyes widened hugely, staring at each other for a long moment.

Mello was the first to scream. At the sound of the blonde's girly squeal the redhead responded with his own screech, which was more low-pitched but just as terrified, even more so when Mello sprung and threw his arms round the redhead, rolling them both across the floor so that they were tangled together on the hardwood floor, clinging in shock and fear to each other for a few moments before scrambling to sit up. Matt dove to hide his face in Mello's chest as the blonde's head whipped back and forth, eyes huge on his face.

The sound had ended a few moments before, and after the original panic was gone, they could hear the choking sounds. For a second, Mello thought they were more horrible Grudge-noises, but he was wrong. It was _laughter._

_Near laughter._

He saw the shadow of the albino boy poking through the doorway, just barely, and he shot upwards, hands clenched at his sides immediately, his fear forgotten and replaced by rage. Matt squeaked in surprise, not catching on, almost sobbing in response to Mello's movement. The blonde grabbed the redhead by t he hair and pulled him upwards, point to the door as he screeched his accusing shout. "OKAY, SNOWBALL, COME OUT. WE KNOW YOUR THERE, ARSE HEAD."

The giggling stopped. For a long moment, nothing happened, and secretly Mello started to fear that he was wrong, and it hadn't been Near at all, but rather some evil, giggling ghost of Beyond or something. Before he had the chance to let this fright show, though, Near poked his head in the doorway, an amused glow to his eyes but a dim fear on his blank expression.

"I could not resist. I apologize," Near spoke up again, shuffling his way in the door; there was a speaker box in his hand, which was the source of the incredibly realistic noise. Matt almost collapsed in relief, leaning his weight on Mello's as he did. Mello sighed, secretly relieved as well, glaring at the albino and blushing gin embarrassment. _So I screamed for nothing. God damn him._

"Oh, _gee_," Mello snapped angrily, glaring at the white-haired boy, sarcasm practically dripping from his voice. "That's okay Near, we forgive you."

Near wasn't ever good with sarcasm, and relief flooded his eyes. "Ah, good. I can leave now, correct?"

Matt's eyes lit up with sudden mischief, fueled by the need for revenge for his poor scarred pride, and leaned forward to meet Nears eyes with a grin on his face. "Oh, I don't know, Near," he hissed in a strangely frightening, low-pitched drawl. "We might just hold a _grudge._"

Mello shivered inwardly at the display, not realizing Matt could be so intimidating.

Near's fright was neither outward nor noticeable, but inside he was scared, not only of the dangerous light in Matt's eyes but because of the spooky atmosphere still ruminating in the room. "Very funny, Matt. But seriously – may I leave?" It was almost unnoticeable to most, but Matt's smile flashed in cruel victory as Near's voice had risen a few notes in fright.

"Oh, I don't think you can, snowball," Mello crooned in a dark sort of sing-song voice, eyes flickering with equal mischief and danger. "Can he, Matty?"

"Nope, I don't think he can, Mello, I don't think he can," Matt chuckled a bit meanly, poking Near in the shoulder in a teasing sort of way. The albino flinched, feeling bullied a bit knowing this was only retaliation for his own behavior.

Near swallowed. "What are you planning, exactly?"

Roger was in a bad mood. Such a bad mood, such a very bad mood. So it really wasn't in his best interest to be dealing with things right now. He wanted to go into his room and sleep. Sleep for hours, uninterrupted. This should have been totally possible – it was quite a long ways past lights-out. But this was Wammys. Something was bound to happen. He expected it to.

He just didn't expect to find a child hanging from the ceiling.

Roger almost had an early heart attack right there in the hallway, tripping over himself in shock. For a second, he thought the child was dead. Of course, he wasn't, because he spoke. "Oh, hello, Roger. Good of you to make your rounds."

If the boy hadn't spoken, Roger almost wouldn't have realized it was near. He was swinging from the ceiling, the rope tied expertly around his arms and waist so that he wouldn't fall. His hair had been spray-died black and done in a certain way that reminded Roger of a movie he'd seen once, and had black eyeliner around his eyes to make the darkness of his eyes more pronounced, along with black eye shadow smudged under his eyes. His shirt was gone, which was unusual for near, and a pair of black sweats on his legs. There was also something very similar to blood all over him, which he wasn't sure what it was but it probably wasn't actually blood. At a glance, you'd thought the child was dead he was so pale (he was always pale, they didn't need makeup for that) what with the rope around him and such.

Near sighed. "Please do not be alarmed," he requested helplessly, remembering the countless children who had screamed in fright and fled at the sight of him, squealing in the other direction about suicide, the ghost of B, the ghost of A, the Grudge had come out of the television, someone committed suicide, and other countless stories.

Roger took a second to regain his composure before sitting up again, scowling in shock and disbelief. "What _happened, _Near?" he demanded, exasperated. Near sighed, shrugging his shoulders best he could, the rope swinging him from side to side, causing him to hit eerily against the wall in response before he replied, just the tiniest bit of amusement in his voice to mingle with the blunt irritation.

"The boy's held a grudge."

* * *

**A/N: This wasn't funny. T_T However, that movie was freakin scary. And that child, however disturbing, reminded me of Near. And I haven't been able to sleep because I think every noise in my house is the grudge here to kill me, and I can't stand to glance out the window cuz its dark and spooky and I keep expecting to see the grudge woman in my reflection and…. I'm not sleeping tonight. 8'D SO YOU GET THIS POINTLESS CRACK! HURRAY! This was mostly intended to make me get over my fear of the movie, but I made the grave mistake of looking up The Grudge on Google images to look for what clothes the kid wears, and… yeah. ;_;**


	14. Bust A Move

Matt whipped his hair around as jumped around in the room, blaring the horrible one-hit wonder at the top volume and half yelling half singing the lyrics, shamelessly flipping his hair and busting random dance moves.

"Were no strangers to love!  
You know the rules and so do I!  
A full commitments what Im thinking of  
You wouldnt get this from any other guy!

"I just wanna tell you how Im feeling!  
Gotta make you… understand!"

The blonde across the room stared at him incredulously, frowning. Matt grinned in response to the reaction, pointing to Mello as he sang, for the sole propose of embarrassing him.

"Never gonna give you up!  
Never gonna let you down!  
Never gonna run around and… desert you!  
Never gonna make you cry!  
Never gonna say goodbye!  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

It worked, and Mello blushed, though it also succeeded in earning a book to the face. It was worth it though, and he spun out of the way of the second throw, breaking into ridiculous dance moves again, continuing to point at Mello at the proper points.

"Weve know each other for so long!  
Your hearts been aching  
But youre too shy to say it!  
Inside we both know whats been going on!  
We know the game and were gonna play it!

"And if you ask me how Im feeling  
Dont tell me youre too blind to see

"Give you up. give you up  
Give you up, give you up  
Never gonna give  
Never gonna give, give you up  
Never gonna give  
Never gonna give, five you up!"

Mello sighed in an exasperated way as Matt spun around on his heel, his singing getting worse as the dance moves got more ridiculous and dramatic.

"I just wanna tell you how Im feeling  
Got to make you… understand!"

"Matt, what are you doing?" Mello asked dryly, stopping the singing with his interruption and glancing over at his partner.

Matt flashed a smile, winking aimlessly. "Just spamming the people who have this pointless thing on story-watch."

Mello sighed and rolled his eyes. "You have too much time on your hands."

Matt shrugged, plopping on the couch beside the blonde and kissing him on the cheek, waiting to earn another blush before replying, "I know."

**A/N: You just got Matt-rolled. Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm hilarious. T_T Oh, and I still can't sleep. SPAM 8'D I obviously don't own _Never Gonna Give You Up_, rick astly does. And sadly i still dont own death note.**


	15. Hard to bleive you didnt see this coming

"NEAR. GET YOUR STINKING SNOWBALL ASS OVER HERE!"

Near sighed outwardly, forcing himself to look over his shoulder and not flee for the high heels. Fleeing wouldn't help in this situation anyway, he knew. Better to simply face the manic blonde that was currently racing top-speed down the sidewalk, an exaggeratedly crazy look on his face.

"Yes, Mello?" Near asked when the other boy caught up all the way to him. The blonde paused for a second to catch his breath, a huge grin on his face before pointing to him.

"YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, then took off in the other direction before the white-haired boy could retaliate, laughing hysterically to himself. Near stared after the blonde, watching him as he escaped around the corner, eyes boggling out in shock and disbelief.

After a long, shuddering moment, Near cursed under his breath.

"Damn it, Mello, I had four weeks!"

**A/N: You just lost the game, beeoch. And oh my gawd guys, this didn't mention Matt! :C the horror! XD oh well. Thank you to Zellicy for inspiring this pointless crack! :D**


	16. Miss Murder

_Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I,  
Take my life?_

It was a dark night out that night, and clouds had gathered in the darkened blue of the sky. Standing out there on the roof, Matt stared up at the sky, willing it to rain. Willing the clouds to cry for him, to blend the water of his tears from the water of the sky.

But the world did not act according to cliché. It would not rain for him, the weather would not shift according to his mood. So Matt stood on the roof of his apartment building, poised expertly on the edge, looking down at the unsuspecting world below him. Unsuspecting, just like he was.

_With just a look they shook  
and heavens bowed before him.  
Simply a look can break your heart._

He was thinking of _him _again. He could hardly help it – he thought of him almost every day, and every night in his dreams as well. He wasn't an easy man to forget. Even after three years Matt could picture him perfectly in his mind – porcelain white skin, soft to the touch, virtually flawless. Feathery cherubic blonde hair, a bob that traced just to his jaw line, giving him a cherubic yet dangerous look. And those eyes – how could he forget them, the piercing bright blue that could see right through to your very soul. He couldn't forget any of it.

Not in a million years could Matt ever forget Mello.

Matt let out a shuddering sigh, letting his gaze trace the city's skyline. Los Angeles was never a silent place – he could hear the bustle of people even at midnight. He came out here a lot – it wasn't his first night on the edge of the roof.

It was far from the first time he had contemplated it. Suicide wasn't an unfamiliar thought to him, not after the blonde got up and walked out of his life. Not since that dreadful day that his reason for living vanished, without a trace, without a goodbye. There for a heartbeat, then gone in the next, swept away like dust in the wind.

_The stars that pierce the sky;__  
He left them all behind.  
We're left to wonder why  
He left us all behind._

"Maybe it would be better if I was gone, too," Matt whispered to nobody in particular, not really even realizing that he was speaking aloud. Experimentally he reached his arms out in front of him, letting them hang in the open air. If he did the same with his feet, he would fall to his death thirteen floors below.

It wouldn't be such a bad way to go, he thought. He wouldn't even feel the pain. It would probably be pretty awesome, for a few moments, an exhilarating last thrill. And then he would be gone before he even knew that the ground had hit him, his body nothing but a splattered course on the pavement below.

It was even a nice street, he thought. Peaceful, for this side of town anyway. Below he could see innocent, unknowing people scattered on the sidewalk, going on with their lives like normal. A skinny brunette girl with too high of heels, chattering on her phone; an African American couple flirting on a park bench; a busy looking Hispanic woman toting a business briefcase over her shoulder; a small cluster of badass wannabes shifting around in the shadows; a nerdy group of Asians and Caucasians chattering across the street. Nobody of interest, though. Nobody that he cared enough about to come down from the building and greet.

_Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I,  
Take my life?  
_

For the slightest moment, Matt thought he saw Mello watching him from the building across the street, imagined that he could see the blonde spitfire in the window. For a heartbeat he pictured him with a horrified look on his face, bolting from his apartment and racing over to him, screaming for him not to jump. _Don't do it, Matty, don't do it for me! I'm not worth it!_

But of course, this was only an illusion. It wasn't real. There was nobody in that window looking at him. Nobody was out t here wondering where he was. There was only him on that roof, wavering just slightly in the breeze as he stood there. Wishing that it would rain, thinking that perhaps he might feel better if the world was crying with him. Misery loves company, even if it's only metaphorical.

He smiled a bit at the thought, closing his eyes and allowing himself to imagine he was already following. It was a bit frightening to realize that he didn't feel any panic, felt no voice in the back of his head screaming for him to get away from the edge. There was only himself, quiet as usual.

Slowly he reached up to his face, ripping the goggles from his eyes. Without the orange tint the world seemed blinding, the colors more exaggerated than with it. The stars above him were blinding, like shattered glass in the black of the sky.

Mello always hated those goggles. He always demanded he take them off, so that he could see his eyes. Always said he loved them. Holding the eye-gear in his hands now, he wondered if the blonde thought about that too, all the pointless squabbles they had over things like that. He wondered if Mello missed him as much as he missed Mello.

_Dreams of his crash won't pass  
Oh, how they all adored him  
Beauty will last when spiraled down.  
The stars that mystify  
He left them all behind.  
And how his children cried  
He left us all behind._

It wasn't fair, Matt couldn't help but think. It wasn't fair that Mello had left him behind. It wasn't fair.

Slowly Matt lifted the goggles in front of him, out past the edge of the apartment building. Watching with dim interest as the accessories he had been in ownership of for countless years dangled in his grasp, swaying just slightly in his tentative grip. The cold plastic on his hands dug into his palm as he grasped the strap, but the pain only barely registered in his mind.

Matt's breath shuddered as he exhaled, closing his eyes again and picturing the blonde in his mind. Matt could still hear his voice in his mind, clear as day. _"We'll be together forever, right?"_

He could hear his own younger voice's reply, too.

"_Definitely."_

_Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I,  
Take my life?  
_

"You liar," Matt whispered aloud, releasing his grip on the goggles. He watched in blank fascination as the object plummeted towards the earth, whizzing as it gained speed. In the back of his mind he was thankful that nobody was standing in the space where it landed as the goggles smacked against the ground, breaking on contact with the cement. A tiny part of him mourned the shattered lenses that he could barely see from above, knowing that the goggles he had had forever were ruined.

Just another thing he thought he would always have, gone from his life forever.

_What's the hook, the twist  
Within this verbose mystery?  
I would gladly bet my life upon it._

A few people were staring at the broken object in horror, a few more looking up to locate the source of the projectile eyewear. Matt didn't discern them noticing him, though, simply looking back up at the sky. Reveling in the stars as they peeked out at him from behind the smoky clouds.

He didn't like the idea of being suicidal, even though that was what he was. He always saw suicidal people as fakes, as cheaters, as posers, as selfish jerks, as cowards. Usually, when someone was suicidal, they didn't _really _want to die. They just wanted proof that people gave a shit about them, dropped hints and quiet pleas, sending out a silent cry for help before they actually did it. Hoping, secretly, that they would survive the attempt at suicide and that everyone would love them again because of it.

This wasn't how Matt felt. Matt wasn't hoping. Matt wasn't wishing. Matt was just… done living. Life without Mello wasn't worth the effort.

_That the ghost you love, your ray of light  
Will fizzle out without hope.  
We're the empty set just floating through, wrapped in skin  
Ever searching for what we were promised.  
Reaching for that golden ring we'd never let go,  
but who would ever let us put our filthy hands upon it?_

Matt never pretended Mello was his. Never pretended that the blonde would ever be truly his. Mello was, in his essence, un-ownable. Unattainable. Untouchable. He was _Mello. _Nobody could control him. Loved by all but never returning the affiliation.

Matt wasn't like that, though. He was completely controllable. He was a dog, complete with a free leash and collar. Ready and willing to be completely owned by that special person. Said person, Mello, Mihael Keehl, knew that. He had brought him, unknowingly, to this brink on the building without even knowing it, without even an effort. Mello didn't even have to try.

_Hey Miss Murder can I?  
_

Closing his eyes the redhead let out a long, complete exhale, hearing people shouting below him. Knowing that people were looking up at him, from the ground or from their own apartment windows. Looking up at the boy on the roof, the obviously suicidal redhead wavering in the breeze. Shouting for him to come down. Pleading for him not to jump. Shrieking in fear and horror at the sight. All these strangers suddenly caring about his fate.

None of them mattered. None of them were Mello.

_Hey Miss Murder can I?_

Matt's heart lurched as he shifted his weight experimentally, leaning forward towards death, then back again towards safety. Literally on the feather-brink between life and death, and relishing in it in the cruelest way possible. He could die right then. The pain could be gone, with just a shift of the weight… Matt couldn't stand the pain.

He couldn't stand being alone anymore.

He leaned forward, feeling the open air start to take him in. Sucking in a breath as gravity wrapped it's arms around him, gently tugging him towards the waiting Earth below. As he did, he felt a buzz go through him.

It wasn't his life flashing before his mind, though, wasn't the buzz of exhilaration he was expecting. It was his cell phone, in his back pocket. Balancing on the very feather-edge of the building he glanced at the phone's little screen, poking out from the jeaned fabric.

**Mello Calling.**

_Make beauty stay if I,  
Take my life?  
_

A grim smile found its way to Matt's face as his gloved hand reached for the device, pulling it out and flipping it open. Pressing the cold metal to his ear. He heard the voice on the other line and knew this was not an illusion, despite that his voice was deeper than he remembered – he knew it was Mello.

"Matt, oh god, I saw you on the news. Don't move, Matt. Don't kill yourself, do you hear me?" Mello's voice was frantic, high pitched. He sounded as if he were crying. "I'm so sorry I left you, just… don't jump, Matt. Please! I love you. Don't kill yourself, don't do this to me…"

Matt listened for a few minutes, still leaning back and forth on the brink, hearing his own heartbeat pounding in his chest as he heard the blonde's voice go on and on in his ear. Desperate and horrified.

After a long while Mello went silent on the other end, and Matt could hear him breathing. Slowly, a smile spread across the redhead's face, his bangs falling over his goggleless emerald eyes. Letting the words Mello said set in.

"Matt?" Mello whispered, voice quivering on the other line. Matt felt the last of his tears trickle down his face and dry on his cheeks, closing his eyes and letting out a breath.

Then he spoke, his voice resonating a wistful, saddened tone.

"Too late, Mells. You're too late."

And then Matt let go, leaning forward and dropping off the edge of death. The last thing he heard being the ear-shattering scream on the other line as he plummeted to join his broken goggles at the earth.

_Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I,  
Take my life?_

**A/N: Well. That was morbid. D': I have no idea why I wrote this, please forgive me. I was intending to make Matty survive at the end, originally, but… sorry. The next one will have to be happy…**

**Song: Miss Murder by Afi (do not own this song)**


	17. Watch

"That's it! Fuck you! I'm out of here!"

Mello blinked in surprise, internally startled by the outburst. It came from the red-faced boy beside him, who had shot to his feet and was currently glaring at him.

The blonde frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "What do you mean, Matt?" he demanded uncertainly, watching as his roommate scrambled around, grabbing up his few belongings he had in their shared room.

Matt didn't reply until he'd shoved his last game device into his bag. "Leaving," he snapped once he had, shooting Mello a look.

Mello's eyes widened in disbelief. "Eh?"

"You heard me," Matt muttered angrily, pulling on his fuzzy vest and slipping his feet into his converse, not bothering to tie the laces. "I'm leaving you."

Mello's eyes narrowed dangerously, staring into the redhead's eyes, searching for some hint that he was joking. There wasn't one. "No you're not," he replied after a while, certainty in his voice, a smirk on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You can't leave me. You're _Matt._" As if that explained everything.

Matt's eyes flickered in a strange way, tainted by a tiny sliver of uncertainty through the anger as his hand closed on the door handle of the apartment. When he spoke again, his voice was challenging, yet soft all the same.

"Watch me."

And watch Mello did, his widening blue eyes following the redhead's every move until he was out the door, metaphorically walking out of his life as the door slammed behind him.

Or at least, out of Mello's life for about two minutes, in which the blonde stood, gaping inexplicably at the door until it swung open all over again, a panting redhead standing within, face flushed from running back so fast.

"You're right, I can't," Matt admitted painfully, the faintest trace of tears in his eyes even with the stubborn scowl on his face.

Mello smiled, secretly relieved, and flipped his hair over his shoulder with a confident little laugh. "Yeah," he replied, "I know."

And then he crushed his lips on Matt's, leaving the redhead wondering why they had ever been fighting at all.

**A/N: ...what was this? I don't know. Strangely enough, it was inspired by this annoying kid in front of me in Science class, who said "watch me" I this really dramatic tone… before falling asleep in the middle of the lecture about it. XD That was as far as the similarity went, that little quote, but somehow everything in my life relates to death note. So here you go. **


	18. A Confused Understanding

I love you, not because you love me, because you don't, you hate me and I love you for it. You, loving me loving you, but hating that you love me too, hating that I hate you for loving me. I love you, and you love me, but I hate you for loving only the me that hates me. I hate the you that hates the me that I hate, because the me that loves you loves you enough to hate you. I care enough to hate you, you aggravate me enough to make me love you, and I can't explain why I love you since you hate me. But love, you must understand, is all about hate, which is all about love. And you understand this confusion, which is why I love you, you must understand and sympathize, because you know that I know that you hate loving me all because you being you is simply how you are.

I hate you, since you hate me; I love you, since you hate you, meaning you love me, because loving is all hating in the end. Love being how I feel about you, but not the you that you are, but were, loving me but not the me you know that I know I must be. So hating loving you, you understand my predicament, but love won't let you hate me enough to help you help me. You love my hate for your you that you aren't, really, and loving me who loves the you you used to be.

Love, I'd love to love you, but you won't love the me who loves the you who hates me, which doesn't exist, You know that I know that you know that I'm right about you knowing all about love, because you love the hate that we feel for one another's love. Acknowledging even in this confused understanding that hate won't wait for love to stop before starting, and love won't stop loving for hatred, for love hates Hate, but loves it too, and you know how Love must feel about that.

I'm hating loving hating you, who is loving hating loving me, and understanding feeling love but acting it out turns hate over love, so you wont understand my loving you unless you love me, too, and confuse my understanding, which is this:

You're in love with love but not with me, who you hate to love but do, and I would truly love to hate you but hating you for making me love you isn't really hate at al. But is it really love? A question you can't answer, because to say love would be to deny hate, which you love but can't announce without denying love, because you hate my loving you hating me for loving you back, because you hate you for loving us, which I understand, because I love us, too. Never, forever, and always.

~L

**A/N: Inspired by a poem I read once. Try not to think about it too hard, it might make ur head explode. Basically, the meaning of this is LOVE IS COMPLICATED AND MAKES NO SENSE. That's it. No deeper meaning. XD srsly. **


	19. Just Peachy

"Come on, Mells. Please?"

I scowl at him, using my death-glare, but either Matt is unaffected or he's developed an immunity over time, because he just keeps giving me those big green puppy eyes.

"No. Fuck you and your stupid nerd-conventions, there is _no way_," I replied angrily, glaring at the object in his hands. I wasn't sure if he had gone crazy or if he was just stupider than I originally thought, but it didn't matter. There was no way I was going along with this.

"Come on. Please?" Matt pleaded, clasping his hands together in a begging stance. I avert my eyes from his, the side effects of puppy-eyes too dangerous to risk. Instead my eyes fall on the thing on his arms.

"No," I growl again, glaring at the frilly thing in his arms with distaste. I was _not _giving in, not this time. Not for this.

There was no way in hell I was getting in that dress.

"Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee? For _me_?" he pleaded, using his desperate-voice. Just from his tone I could tell that his face would prove too convincing, so I kept my eyes on the horrible frills of the garment. Not only was this dress a _dress_, A.K.A. a garment for GIRLS and not mafia men, no matter how gay they were, but it was pink, frilly, and (surprise surprise) _video game themed. _

Shudder.

"I am absolutely NOT dressing up as a fucking Princess Pear--"

"Peach," he corrected in a pouting tone, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. It's not going to happen. Ever," I continued in irritation. Then I made the mistake of looking at him.

My heart melted immediately. He was not only giving me his infamous puppy eyes, but he had this adorable tremble in his lips, the picture of pleading. Even in that ridiculous Mario costume - which was so tight it would fit better in a porno than a child's game, by the way - eh was nearly irresistible with that face.

I huffed, feeling a blush come to my cheeks as the last ounces of my resolve started to trickle away. "I wouldn't make a good Peach anyway, in case you forgot," I muttered, touching my scar subconsciously. Matt faltered, pain in his eyes for a split second, then replaced by determination.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Matt snapped in a strangely affectionate way, reaching out and brushing his hand through my hair, his palm running over the rough skin of the burn scar. The love in his eyes was unmistakable, suffocating, wasting no time killing off my refusal. "You're beautiful," he whispered, stroking his thumb across my cheek. "You know that. You'll make a stunning Princess Peach." It was scary, but I knew he believed it.

"Even with this hideous scar?" I scoffed, shaking my head stubbornly, but Matt knew he'd won, a grin spreading across his face.

"The scar makes you look badass and you know it," Matt whispered teasingly, kissing my marred cheek as if to prove it. Involuntarily, I giggled, pushing him away with an angry blush.

But my resolve was gone, and I snatched the dress out of his hand anyway. "Fine," I grumbled, marching away with garment in tow. "Princess Mello will be out in a minute, but you owe her!"

Matt burst into laughter at the comment, his overjoyed expression the last thing I saw before I slammed the door in his face.

And just so you know? I made a freakin _badass _Princess Peach.

**A/N: Wtf is this? I'm so random. I just wanted to write this for no particular reason XD I scribbled it down in Math class, which would be why it sucks so much. Meh. Maybe I'll make a sequel on how the Nentindo-cosplay-fest went, but I probably won't.**


	20. Activities

"Umm, Mello… what are you doing?"

I watched as the blonde froze inside the doorway, halting his movement. He was seated very close to his roommate, a familiar redhead, a blush on his face immediately as he turned to glare in my direction, blue eyes piercing. The boy below him shifted, chuckling uncomfortably as Mello hissed, "Get the fuck out, Near."

I didn't react to the insult, eyes moving from Mello and to Mello's hands, eyes widening a little. "Do two male roommates _usually _do this together?" I asked a bit uncertainly, lifting my fingers to twirl my hair. I was only eight, after all - how should I know about things like that? It wasn't in textbooks.

Mello's eyes flashed angrily, shooting metaphorical daggers at me as he shifted slightly, fingers tightening their hold on what he was holding. Matt shifted uncomfortably as we stared at each other, me wondering and him loathing.

As usual, the spitfire blonde blinked first, snapping, "Does it LOOK like I'm a normal boy, idiot! I can do whatever I want with my goddamned Matt!"

"_My _Matt? Would that not be slavery?" I inquired, earning me another death glare. Quickly I continued, scooting backwards in effort not to get murdered today. "Alright, have fun with your… activities."

Mello snarled some unmentionable string of curse words at me as I shuffled quickly as possible out of the room, an amused feeling warming me inwardly, though it didn't show on my face.

Compelled by my rare sense of amusement I paused outside the door, peeking in one last time to smirk at them, adding coyly,

"Enjoy your… nail polish."

I narrowly escaped an attack of projectile pillows, but it was worth it, hurrying away, eternally thankful that Mello wouldn't risk his wet nails pursuiting me, the echo of Matt's crazed laughter following me down the hall.

**A/N: Psh. What did you **_**think **_**they were talking about? Pervert.**


	21. Liar

"Hey Matt?"

The redhead didn't reply at first, sitting comfortably on his bed, clicking away at his game boy. However, the one person in the world who could so easily get him to put down this game was looking at him expectantly when he spared him a glance, big blue eyes inspecting him from where the blonde stood at the edge of his bed.

Pausing the game with a few swift button-clicks Matt tossed the device aside, turning to face his best friend completely, a slack smile on his face. "What's up?" he inquired.

Mello shifted a little uncomfortably on his feet before placing himself in a delicate fashion on the edge of the bed, feminine blonde hair falling partially into his face. There was obvious nervousness in the way he ran his pale fingers across his knee, over and over again, avoiding meeting eyes with the other.

The redhead licked his lips absently out of nervousness - it wasn't often that his roommate acted like this, and if he was, it was because something important was going down. "What is it," he insisted again, more gently this time, moving so that he was sitting with his feet tucked under him.

The smaller of the two looked up, blue eyes flickering with something unreadable behind blonde bangs, expression soft. "Matty… I just wanted to talk to you," he told him, slowly for once. At the sound of his pet name Matt smiled a little - it wasn't often that Mello called him that in a non-teasing fashion, and he loved it when he did, just like he loved everything else about the blonde. Secretly, of course, since if Mello knew that he would probably break his nose immediately after the shock wore off.

"Sure," Matt whispered back after a second, scooting over and patting the spot he had left beside him, offering Mello a space to sit beside him. The blonde smiled appreciatively, slipping into place.

For a second neither said anything, Matt simply staring at the blonde with a curious look on his face and Mello staring at his hands, eyes narrowed just slightly.

Finally, Mello spoke again, his voice uncertain and unusually high-pitched. "Matty, can I tell you something _really _important?"

Matt swallowed nervously before quickly nodding his head, eager to play the 'best friend' role once again. Hearing Mello spill out soul-rooted drabbles was, quite officially, one of the redhead's highpoints in life. Right above video games and cigarettes.

Mello shifted uncomfortably before turning his head, tilting it so that he was looking straight up at the redhead, an intense look in his blue eyes. Matt flinched at the sudden intensity, realizing in that moment just how close the blonde was to him, their lips so close that if he just leaned forward an inch he would be… he winced at the thought, unconsciously moving back little. Mello's face unexpectedly followed, not allowing distance to be put between them, and Matt found himself quickly drowning in the blue of his eyes.

"Mel?" the redhead squeaked, blush flashing across his face before he could stop it. The blonde gave him a wide eyed, trembling kind of look, as if truly uncertain of himself for once.

Suddenly, though, Matt was broken out of his embarrassed, bewildered state by a hand, Mello's hand. It suddenly shot up and brushed through his hair, resting tangled in it's unruly masses. Matt fought the urge to shiver, his mouth going dry, unable to speak.

Mello did the seeking instead. "Matt…" he whispered, slowly and drawled out. Then, "I think I'm in love with you."

Matt's eyes widened beneath the goggles, heart (metaphorically) stopping in his chest. _What? _Surely he was dreaming - he had to be. Surely Mello didn't…. return his feelings. He couldn't possibly return the feelings that he himself had just realized he had, right?

Right?

But there he was, right? Staring into his eyes with big blue wonders, clearly gauging him for a reaction, hand still tangled in his hair. Mello was there, _saying those words. _At this realization Matt released the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding before this, opening his mouth to speak, feeling his face heat up with blush. Preparing to tell Mello everything, how he loved him, how he loved every single _part _of him - his hair, his skin, his teeth, his eyes, his voice, his annoying screeching, his chocolate-addiction, his temper, his--

Before he could gather the crazy rush in his mind, though, Mello's composure broke. His serious expression vanished in a blink, replaced by a wide, impish grin, the softness in his eyes replaced by amusement. Matt gaped at his sudden change in expression, still in shock, as the blonde slipped away, his hand removed form his hair and coming to rest on his lap as usual.

Then he spoke, and Matt's heart broke.

"JUST KIDDING!" Mello announced, bursting into hysterical laughter. Matt could only stare, baffled as his best friend gracelessly threw his head back, entire body shaking with hilarity. "You should have seen your face, Matt! You looked so freaked!"

A blush involuntarily found it's way to Matt's face, causing his entire complexion to pinken. _Kidding? _He could barely believe it, that Mello would do something so cruel to him. Then again, yes, yes he could - Mello was an asshole. Not just any kind of asshole, either, but a special kind of asshole. The kind that can easily, casually reach out, slither his arm into your chest, and before you can even glance down and say 'oh, your arm is in my chest, I wonder why?' his fingers close around your heart and jerk it out. He was a bitch like that.

So why Matt loved him so much baffled many, to say the least.

Said asshole was curled over himself at the moment, laughing like crazy. Every time he tried to stop himself he would find himself looking back up at the redhead and seeing the baffled, embarrassed expression on his face and start cracking up all over again. Matt couldn't stand it - it was humiliating. He couldn't even bring himself to laugh along with the blonde, simply burying his face in his hands.

It was about two minutes of this before Mello realized that Matt wasn't just embarrassed. Two minutes of laughing in his face, and it finally dawned on Mello that the redhead had his face buried in his hands, messy red hair falling over his face and shielding a pained expression and an obvious blush. The blonde winced outwardly, the laughing trailing away. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction at all.

What he didn't know was that Matt wasn't as innocent as he looked at that moment. Secretly, the redhead was plotting in his mind, mapping out how these next moments would work.

And they did.

Mello shifted in his place, uncertainty in his eyes from what Matt could see peeking between his fingers at him. "Matty, come on, I was only teasing," Mello whispered uncertainly, shifting uncomfortably to sit closer to him. Trying to weasel his way out of a confrontation, he added, "No need to get all emotional, Matty. We're not gay or anything, I know that. You don't have to be upset."

Matt felt as if he'd been smacked, but he knew Mello didn't mean it to hurt him. Still, he let himself flinch, and the blonde winced in response. Gradually Mello weakened and moved on to the 'confrontation' stage of the game, scooting closer to his roommate.

"Matt. Come now, don't be a baby," he whispered gently, reaching out and grabbing the redhead by the wrists. Matt resisted only slightly as the other boy pulled his hands away from his eyes, peeking up to meet eyes of blue.

"I'm sorry," Mello whispered again, more desperately this time. He looked sincere for once, blue eyes searching the other boys helplessly for some sign of forgiveness. Matt almost regretted not giving it to him that easily, but not quite.

"Whatever," he muttered, letting a sad little sigh escape his lips. Averting his eyes from Mello's and allowing them to rest at his knees, now welcoming the blush that rushed to his cheeks.

Mello flinched visibly, and in the corner of Matt's eyes he saw his face pale slightly at the prospect that he had hurt him. "Come on, man," Mello tried again, twisting so that Matt was forced to look at him. And he did, gaze boring into his as the blonde demanded, "What's wrong? Please tell me."

_Well if you insist, _Matt thought, but instead whispered, "Don't you know?"

Mello frowned, because he didn't know. And he disliked not knowing things very much, especially when the redhead made it sound like it was something that was obvious. Something that he, number two (_almost _one) at Wammy's house, should know off the top of his head, immediately, without even pausing to think about it. He hated it at such an obscenity that a tremble went through him - he should know this. Especially if it was _Matt. _

"Know what?" he whispered, voice unhappy, hand reaching out to touch Matt's hand unconsciously. He almost gasped when the redhead's hand moved away from his, refusing the attempt at a comforting touch. "Matt, come on. What is it? I'm sorry, I don't know. Please?"

Matt looked up at Mello in one sudden, overdramatic whirl, green eyes narrowed with such loathing that the blonde almost died, right there, on the spot, out of shock. But of course, he didn't, left just returning the stare, fighting the urge to glare back.

The expression was gone almost immediately, replaced with a regretful frown. "You really don't know?" he pried. Mello sighed, shaking his head in irritation. Matt kept the deep frown on his face, shifting his position and moving his own hand over the blondes. Mello flinched in surprise as the other boy's fingers laced through his, squeezing his hand just gently. Affection brimming every centimeter of the action.

"Matt?" he managed, trying (and failing horribly) to keep his voice from raising in pitch in reaction to the uncharacteristically intense stare-down his roommate was giving him.

Matt moved forward unexpectedly, the hand not holding the blonde's moving to brush through his hair, pushing the clump of golden-yellow around the other boy's ear with a feather's gentleness. Mello's breath caught in his throat before he could tell his brain not to let it, caught in Matt's overpowering green gaze, the bed creaking slightly as the redhead moved towards him.

He only stopped his slow, silent decent when his face was inches from the other's, emerald eyes gazing directly into the sapphire blue of the others.

"Matt?" Mello repeated breathlessly, barely managing to get the word out again, even though the 'question' was pointless in it's becoming. He could feel the blush on his face, summoned by the feeling of Matt's breath on his lips.

"You really don't know…" Matt whispered a bit sadly, rubbing his thumb over the blonde's temple. He relished silently in the way the movement made his roommate shudder, fighting to keep a smirk off his features. "You don't know…"

"What don't I know?" the smaller boy croaked, entire body tensed.

Matt's eyes flickered with an unreadable emotion for just an instant, eyes narrowed. He looked as serious as a heart attack in that moment, and Mello could hear his own heart pounding in his chest. Praying that the redhead couldn't hear it, but knowing that he wouldn't have to in order to guess how loud it was being.

"It's just that…" the redhead whispered, voice fleetingly tender as he spoke, "I can't believe you didn't guess… how I've always felt about you."

You didn't have to be inside Mello's head to know that his heart (metaphorically) halted, sucking in a breath as his blue eyes grew wide as saucers. Staring at Matt's oh-so-close face in disbelief and amazement. Matt watched, silently amused as the blonde's features twisted, going from shocked and uncertain to baffled, embarrassed, and… unexpectedly awed, going slightly limp.

Before Matt could break the moment, Mello did instead, managing to whisper, "Really?"

_Yes, really. I've always loved you. I always will. You're my everything. It doesn't matter if I'm gay straight or fucking asexual, I want you all to myself. I'm all yours, if you want me, because you know I want you. I love you, Mihael Keehl!_

These words were never spoken. Instead, the planned smile spliced Matt's face, stretching over his features. He didn't move away as Mello had, simply staying within the radius with the smirk on his face, the picture of sly amusement.

"Just kidding," Matt whispered coyly, breath still warm on the blonde's lips. He was secretly delighted at the red-hot blush that stained Mello's face at his words, the disbelief in his widening sapphire eyes. Revenge was awfully sweet - he would have to do it more often.

Or not.

"Matt, you jerk!" Mello screeched, but didn't move away from Matt when he startled. There was a truly pissed look on the blonde's face now, and the redhead had a silent guess that he had taken it too far (even though he'd pretty much done exactly what the blonde did just moments before).

Still, if he was already over the side of the cliff, he might as well skydive… "I had you going there, didn't I, Mello Yellow?" he teased, letting his hand slide up Mello's arm and onto his shoulder. He was slightly surprised when Mello let out an involuntary shiver in response, but he guessed it was just the auto-response. "Lost at your own game."

Mello's eyes flickered angrily, but of course Matt was right.

The blonde's eyes narrowed. "You, Matt, are the worst fucking son of a bitch in the entire goddamn universe," he announced, but didn't move to break the distance, instead digging his hand (now resting on Matt's knee for lack of better placement) into the redhead's skin to prove his point. Before Matt could think of a witty comeback, the blonde continued, "But I happen to be a giant liar."

Matt's eyes narrowed suspiciously, the hand that was still resting on Mello's shoulder tensing, waiting for explanation. Racking his brain for all the things Mello had said and lied about recently, but he gave up after thing, like, 1,000,000.

He didn't need the list, though, because the blonde quickly made it obvious.

"I hate you, Matt," he whispered, the words he spoke completely contradicted by the gush of affection that the speech was drowned in. Matt's eyes widened in surprise, only to widen even further when the chocoholic moved forwards, closing the distance between his lips and the other's.

Matt stayed completely frozen as Mello advanced on him, even as the blonde's arms slithered around his neck to pull him close, and even as the other seemed to be refusing to break off the kiss, the lips simply staying crushed against the redhead's. Could only stay stiff as his first kiss was stolen away.

Finally, though, after a few seconds of almost going blue-in-the-face because of a lack of reaction, Matt regained his consciousness, blinking and pulling away. The blonde let out a rejected little squeak at the movement, anger flickering in his slitted eyes, but the redhead was far from done with this game. Matt crushed his lips back on Mello's the moment he had caught his breath, hands grasping the other boy's slender shoulders and forcing him to be impossibly close as they continued the kiss.

Mello didn't allow himself to stiffen in the vague surprise, digging his nails into Matt's shoulder blades and returning the pressure of the kiss. And kiss they both did, chaste and short but seeming to take an eternity.

Suddenly, though, just as Mello was about to move to take more out of the moment, Matt shoved him away. The blonde gasped in anger once again, blinking several times. He could barely believe himself for starting the kiss, but now that it was broken off, he felt a cold sense of unhappiness at the loss.

Matt's hand had flown to his mouth, as if to check that it was still the same after kissing who he thought to be his best friend. They felt the same, but they were definitely wetter, and his face was definitely a whole damn lot warmer. Mello was blushing, too, slouched in a bewildered state of unease, not sure weather to run for the hills or demand more smooches. He decided 'neither' was probably the best option, staying seated.

Suddenly, Matt grumbled, "You're a fucking idiot, and I hate your guts. I'm never kissing a dude again."

Mello's eyes grew wide, whipping around to stare in disbelief at his friend, face burning with blush as he found Matt glaring at him. _What? _Mello's mouth opened to protest, only to be interrupted as the other boy flashed a charming smile at him.

"Just kidding~"

Mello frowned. "Fuck you, now I'm confused," he muttered, glaring at him.

Matt smirked. "Would kissing again make it better?" he offered hopefully, green eyes glinting with mischief. Mello paused, considering this, eyes involuntarily resting on Matt's smiling lips.

Mello's coy grin returned. "Yes. Yes, I think it probably would."

Matt needed no more cues, reaching out and swinging the blonde in for another new-found form of affection. Hoping, in the back of his mind, that Mello wasn't kidding anymore.

Not that it would have stopped him, anyway.

**A/N: Ohoho. This was random, too. :P sorry. XD**


	22. Wrong Choice of Words

"Okay, to the left, then."

Matt sighed in irritation, moving to push his weight onto the large brown object agin. More specifically, the fridge. Mello suddenly had this _awesome _epiphany that they should rearrange the kitchen so that they could actually fit the STOVE in the room. This was wonderful, but the problem was the whole "move the fridge" thing.

Mello groaned beside him, both of them pushing on the giant thing and managing to move it a few inches. The redhead couldn't help but smirk a little at the infuriated look on the blonde's face.

"DAMMIT, MATT!" Mello exploded when the fridge refused to budge any faster. "HARDER, GOD, THRUST HARDER!"

Bad choice of words, there.

Matt smirked, unable to resist. "That's what she said," he muttered under his breath. An even _worse _choice of words, apparently, because mello stopped pushing altogether to whip around and glare at him.

"WHAT?" he demanded in confusion and irritation. "What was what who said?"

He smirked even wider, not at all surprised that Mello hadn't ever heard the joke before. "Ur mom," he replied coyly, flashing a smile.

This didn't work the way he expected, though, because the blonde's face went pale, expression crumbling until all that was left was blank horror.

"Matt, my mother's _dead._"

Matt paled. "Oh. Fuck."

"Fuck is right," Mello muttered, turning back to the task at hand. "You're a giant pain in the ass…"

Matt didn't even bother commenting on that one.

**_A/N: This was a result of my recent icon change XD sorry about that. Now, by the way... you've got to wonder what compelled Mello to use "thrust" in that scentence...? Probobly a habit.... ;D If you catch my drift._**


	23. Baddassness

Badassness is not actually a word, but if it was, it would fit Mello perfectly.

He is, in all honesty, the most badass person I have ever met. Mello is the one person in the world who can be a flaming homosexual, be mistaken for a girl, _and _be bottom more than half the time, and still be badass doing it. He's the one man who can runway walk more than Tyra Banks and still make you fear for your life as he approaches. He's the kind of person who can break hearts with a glance, and crush wills with the slightest little smirk. The kind of badass that can take it up the ass, moaning and crying throughout, and still leave the guy topping him knowing full well that his uke can kick his ass with one hand tied behind his back. He's the one man who can kick the ass of an entire gang of anti-mafia assassins single-handed all while worrying that he's going to stain his new designer jeans.

That's just the kind of badass Mello is. The picture of badassness.

Sure, a flaming homosexual kind of badass, but badass none the less. He could go out and blow up a Toys-R-Us on Judgment Day and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. Actually, more than likely, I would be right beside him, shouting "THREE, TWO, ONE, BOOOOOMMMMM!" right along with him, like a pair of over-exuberant, extremely violent six year olds before some deadly fireworks show. Because every badass has his bitch.

Yeah, that's right - I'm a man and I can still be called Mello's bitch. He tells me it all the time, and it's true. Sure, I top him all the time, but that's not because I'm more butch than him or something. No. It's because he simply doesn't want to put the effort into making me feel pleasure, and is more than happy to take it as long as I give it good enough. It's painstakingly clear that he could top me whenever he wanted and I wouldn't be able to complain (he's done it before, and admittedly it was pretty fucking awesome) because I was _his. _His bitch, his slave, his fag, or, as Mello always says, his "_Matt_ress."

Hahaha. Very hilarious, I know. My sides are aching already.

But really - it doesn't really get more badass than Mello. He's made that all too clear. He's right up there with Chuck Norris and George Washington on the badass scale (Yes, Washington is badass. He has TWO states named after him, he drove a whole fucking army into Pennsylvania just to put down a tiny little rebellion so he could show off his badassness, so yes, our first president is badass. Take my nerd logic and deal with it.) and there's no one would even try to take that position from him, because he'd shoot them several times in the head and they wouldn't be very badass anymore.

Shit, he rides a motorcycle, can easily carry any gun you throw to him, has a giant-ass scar on his face yet still looks like a sex-god, took control of the mafia when he was about _sixteen_, and could beat you at any mind game you throw at him. You could ask him which came first, the chicken or the egg, and he would promptly shoot you in the head for asking - you stopped contradicting him, therefore, he wins. End of story.

The only person he can't seem to beat is Near, but that's only in L-sucessorship. In badassness, he has Near beat by a long shot. Actually, on the badass scale, Near is down there with My Little Ponies, Barbie jeeps, and Dora the Explorer.

Truly, Near is pretty much the farthest thing from badass. But this isn't about Near, this is about Mello, so stop thinking about him before our blonde shoots you in the head.

…I'm getting off topic.

What I'm trying to say is this: Mello is badass. And you are not. Go on living your lives knowing that one of the gayest men in the universe can easily pwn you at any given moment without even lifting a finger.

Don't doubt it. Just accept it, and move on.

Have a nice day.

-Matt

**A/N: I don't know what the hell this was. Just some rant I had to let out for no reason, then randomly decided that Matt was writing about half way through XDDD IDK. Yeah. So. :P Whatever, this entire story is random, so it doesn't even matter. Bye.**


	24. A Melancholy Kind of Afternoon

**Goggled-Gamer: Hey, L, u ther?**

L glanced at the corner of the screen, where a small box had appeared below the article he was reading online, informing him that he had received a new message. From Matt, of course.

The detective sighed, sparing a quick peek in Light's direction. Said teen was fast asleep on his bed, the chain between them tugging slightly as the brunette shifted his position. Surely he wouldn't find out of he took a break from his work to talk to his successor. He would delete the messages later, though, as he always did - if Light, the potential Kira, were to find out of his successors existence, it would prove to be very bad indeed. Frowning at the redhead's horrible text-speech-induced grammar, L moved to reply.

**SecretStrawberry12: I am here indeed, Matt. I assume you wish to speak with me?**

It was barely a second before the 'bing' of his laptop speakers announced the arrival of another message.

**Goggled-Gamer: Yup. Bored shitless ovr here. **

L frowned deeply at the comment.

**SecretStrawberrry12: I was not aware that you were in possession of any feces at all, Matt-kun.**

**Goggled-Gamer: *face palm* L… it's just a figure of speech.**

**SecretStrawberry12: Ah. It was a very crude figure of speech.**

**Goggled-Gamer: So, what's up?**

**SecretStrawberry12: The opposite of down.**

**Goggled-Gamer: …**

**SecretStrawberry12: It was a joke. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Oh. Good. I was starting 2 worry about u getting so smart that you finally just jumped the barrier back into stupidity… XD**

L smiled a bit at the comment. The idea was amusing to him, that this would even be possible completely unorthodox. Then again, it was an interesting thought, jumping the "border" back into stupidity. Then again, "insanity" might be a more likely route.

**SecretStrawberry12: In response to your previous question, I am doing just fine, and am sitting in a chair. Speaking with you.**

**Goggled-Gamer: You don't have 2 b so formal**

**SecretStrawberry12: Oh, and I'm also chained to a very attractive brunette who tastes like cake.**

**Goggled-Gamer: ….O___O WHAT? Okay, NOW I'm interested.**

L smiled a little, expecting this reaction at his rather vague explanation. He hurriedly continued what he was saying before Matt could start shouting wrongful assumptions to his blonde companion.

**SecretStrawberry12: It is for the Kira case. He is a suspect.**

**Goggled-Gamer: AWWW. Dammit. **

**SecretStrawberry12: Language, M2.**

**Goggled-Gamer: M2... Hah. Forgot that you called me that. U don't come around enuff. **

There was a pause, then:

**Goggled-Gamer: …Mello misses you.**

A tiny whisper of a smile graced L's lips as he read the words Matt had typed, seeing right through to the meaning. Knowing for a fact that it wasn't only the blonde spitfire that missed him.

It made L feel melancholy, knowing that he wasn't around his successors enough. That they had, despite his and Watari's attempts to avoid this, formed a bond with him, an attachment with the man they were meant to succeed. Though Matt's attachment was much more subtle than Mello or Near, it was quite obvious he would mourn him if he were ever to die. This was a problem, though - if they worried about him dying, then how would they ever replace him when this happened?

Despite this, L couldn't help but feel the selfish glee that came with knowing that they cared.

**SecretStrawberry12: I miss you, too. All of you.**

**Goggled-Gamer: Heh. Ok.**

L frowned. He could tell that, for whatever reason, Matt didn't believe him. But he didn't pressure it further, instead replying:

**SecretStrawberry12: How is your relationship with Mello, anyway?**

**Goggled-Gamer: -////- that's none of ur business.**

**SecretStrawberry12: …**

**Goggled-Gamer: Ok, fine. It's fine. No change, really.**

**SecretStrawberry12: You are lying. Do not lie. Have you told him about your feelings or not?**

There was a long, awkward pause, and L waited patiently for the redhead's reply, knowing it even before it popped up on the screen. Behind him, Light shifted in his sleep, muttering something about Pringles, but the detective ignored him for once.

**Goggled-Gamer: Nope. I was 2 chicken. But he sort of jumped me, so apparently I didn't really hav 2 confess, he beat me 2 it.**

L frowned.

**SecretStrawberry12: JUMPED you? As in rape? Because that is strictly forbidden.**

**Goggled-Gamer: No, not rape! AAAAH! O/////o No!**

**SecretStrawberry12: Ah, so it was consensual. I understand.**

**Goggled-Gamer: For god's sake, L, we're only 14! :C He just kissed me, jeez.**

**SecretStrawberry12: Oh. Well, that is good too, then. Goggled-Gamer: …**

L smiled to himself a little, secretly enjoying embarrassing the redheaded successor. He wouldn't ever tell anyone, of course, but he loved each of them like an older brother might. It was a detail that could prove to be very dangerous, if anyone - Kira - were to find out about the youth's existence. He wouldn't let that happen, though - he would protect them with his life.

Which was where the problem came in, he supposed.

He was interrupted from his rather depressing thoughts by another 'bing!'

**Goggled-Gamer: So how's the hot possibly-Kira?**

**SecretStrawberry12: Not possibly. Almost definitely. And I hope that he is having a good sleep. He is mumbling about Pringle chips, and looking quite lovely and peaceful in his slumber. **

**Goggled-Gamer: um…**

**SecretStrawberry12: He looks younger, when he sleeps. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Uh, L, you're not… falling for the suspect, are you?**

L frowned again - he had been doing that a lot. Then he blushed - it was something he did almost never. He felt invaded, suddenly. Being able to read someone like a book, the ability to see the true meaning and possibility in every little thing, was something that he took great pride in. That was the challenge with his successors, though, because they _also _had this skill, especially the top three (N, M, and M2). Other people turning the tables and making speculations and observations about _him _instead of the other way around was a problem indeed.

It was a problem especially when they were completely right.

Realizing that he had been taking too long to reply, he quickly typed:

**SecretStrawberry12: I apologize, Yagami tugged on the handcuffs and I had to stop typing for a moment. That is why I took so long to reply. Sorry. And no, I am not "falling" for him, unless you count him punching me in the face and sending me falling to the floor. **

**Goggled-Gamer: LAWL**

L's eyes widened, chest clenching slightly in panic at he word on the screen. Shooting a panicked glance at the still-sleeping Kira-suspect he frantically typed his reply, not bothering to turn off the caps-lock.

**SecretStrawberry12: MATT! DO NOT FINISH THAT WORD, MATT, THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! YOU CAN'T SPEAK MY REAL NAME ON THE INTERNETS, YOU REDICULOUS FOOL! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE! DO YOU HAVE SOME DEATH WISH I AM NOT AWARE OF!**

There was a pause, all the while L Lawliet swiftly erased the messages before this in his history, closing the box frantically. The screen popped up again, clear of the horrifying messages, when Matt replied.

**Goggled-Gamer: You're such a ditz sometimes, L. It's text-talk. Lawl = LOL. As in laugh-out-loud?**

The raven-haired man collapsed at the reading of this, relief and shame crashing over him. Relieved that his successor wasn't truly as stupid as he had thought, and shamed that he was _stupider _than he thought. He really needed to be more current…

Slowly, almost mournfully, L typed his reply.

**SecretStrawberry12: Oh. I was not aware.**

**Goggled-Gamer: Obviously.**

**Goggled-Gamer: A certain blonde nutcase wants to know, on a scale of one to ten, how hot this Yagami guy is.**

L smiled, relieved that his small moment of idiocracy was ignored in favor of the companion currently chained to him. _So you're useful for something after all, _he teased silently, glancing at the still-mumbling-in-his-sleep brunette - "Nyah… stupid pandas…" - before turning to reply.

**SecretStrawberry12: Tell this mysterious "nutcase" that his first name is Light, and that on a scale of 1-10 he is 9.475, though the percentage goes up considerably when he is asleep. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Oh, fuck, that's a sex-machine.**

**SecretStrawberry12: Actually, I believe him to be a virgin.**

The comment was ignored.

**Goggled-Gamer: Mello's getting on, hold on a sec.**

_**(Mello-Not-Yellow has entered the chatroom)**_

**Mello-Not-Yellow: HEYA, BITCHESSS**

L smiled. He was quite fond of the wild youth, despite his obvious flaws when it came to controlling himself. Occasionally, he even found himself wishing he could have access to such energy and passion, if only in small doses. He sometimes wished he could shine so brightly.

This wasn't something he wanted to ponder, though, quickly delving back into he conversation and ignoring Mello's rather inappropriate greeting.

**Goggled-Gamer: U r so gay. How did I miss it b4?**

**SecretStrawberry12: Greetings, M.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Shut it, ginger-boy. Hey L, did u know that his hair's natural? Cuz it is. True ginger.**

**SecretStrawberry12: I was not aware, actually. That is interesting, though.**

**Goggled-Gamer: MELLS! **

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Okay, anyway, enough about Matty. Do you happen to have PICTURES of this 9.475-or-above?**

**SecretStrawberry12: Actually…**

L paused, considering weather or not he wanted to inform Mello that, yes, he did indeed have pictures of Light. Several, actually, more than a normal man should have of another. Especially in their situation. He would say that they were just for observation proposes, to help with the case, but this wasn't the situation considering Light was either asleep or, in a few, taking a bath (there wasn't anything pornographic in them, it was all covered by the bubbles the brunette always seemed to use).

Still, he couldn't not reply. Mello was, by far, too smart for that.

**SecretStrawberry12: Yes, but I will not share them. They are personal.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Ah. Is he naked?**

**SecretStrawberry12: NO!**

**Goggled-Gamer: MELLO! -glare-**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: …**

**SecretStrawberry12: ……only in one.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: OH MY GOD! AHAHAHAHAAHA! I WIN!**

**Goggled-Gamer: O______________O**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: *throws confetti* YAY! L ISN'T ASEXUAL! Let's throw a sexy-party! I'll bring the Tequila! **

The detective had to hold back a muffled chuckle. It wasn't often he chuckled, or smiled at all for that matter, but when he was around his successors (digitally or otherwise) he always found himself opening up. He couldn't help himself.

They, his successors and Watari, were the closest thing to family he would ever know.

**SecretStrawberry12: What is a sexy-party?**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Do you WANT to know?**

**SecretStrawberry12: …I think so.**

**Goggled-Gamer: It involves nudity and mediocre mainstream-pop music. Do you still want to know?**

**SecretStrawberry12: I have changed my mind. I no longer need elaboration. **

L was inwardly concerned about his successors being so… grown up… but he decided to let it slide by without comment. They were, after all, more mature than most adults when they were about, ah, seven, give or take. So it was only practical that they, especially the ones like Mello, would be more sexually mature than most teens by now, too.

It still worried him, a little, that they were further along than _him _in that area.

Insert inward shudder here.

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Sorry, L. Didn't mean to embarrass u. : (**

**SecretStrawberry12: Do not fret, M, I am more quizzical than embarrassed. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Screw embarrassment, I want pictures of Mr. bondage-guy.**

**SecretStrawberry12: The handcuffs are only for observation proposes, there is nothing fetish-related in the situation. **

**Mello-Not-Yellow: This is L, Matt, are you an idiot? Like he'd do that with a suspect 4 real. As if.**

The detective couldn't help but shrink a little inside. He knew that Mello viewed him as a god - not perfect, perhaps, a flawed god, like a Greek god perhaps, if you need comparison. But he saw him as pure, the ultimate detective, the ultimate person. He was _L. _He wouldn't do anything to compromise his case.

Oh, if only he knew.

**SecretStrawberry12: I would not let any of my feelings for Light-kun compromise the Kira case. It is more important than my own feelings.**

**Goggled-Gamer: I still say it's kinky. Now - PICTURES.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Wait, FEELINGS? Am I sensing LOVE here? I WANT EXPLAINATION -flails-**

_**(SecretStrawberry12 has sent a file: LightKunSleeping7 . jpeg)**_

L paused, glancing over at his peacefully sleeping companion. The urge to run his hand through Light's hair was almost irresistible, but L was a strong person and managed to keep his hands on the keyboard, settling for simply imagining how soft his hair might be.

It was a good thing that he couldn't see Light's feet. You wouldn't guess it, but Light had perfect toes. That would be a lot harder to resist.

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Holy sweet Jesus. I no longer question ur love. That man is gorgeous.**

**SecretStrawberry12: It is not just his looks, do not take me for shallow… he is also very smart. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Hot damn, though. I'd hit that.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Smart AND sexy? Damn. Where to you sign up for these handcuff things?**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: HEY! Wait a second! You won't be hitting anything but me, dammit!**

**Goggled-Gamer: Don't worry, sweetheart, that guys a 9, but you're a 11 in my eyes ;)**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: You know it, bitch. **

L smiled, though he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. They were an oddball couple, but then again, what more could you hope for?

He glanced again in Light's direction. Would they ever be that lucky? He already knew the answer, though. _No. _

**Goggled-Gamer: you still there, L?**

**SecretStrawberry12: I am present.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Have you kissed him yet? Is his hair color natural? What color are his eyes? Can we see that naked picture? How smart is "very smart"? How old is he? Does he like sweets?**

**SecretStrawberry12: No, I think so, amber-brown, no, almost as smart as me, 18, he prefers salty.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Damn, cool, figured, double dammit, triple dammit, he looks it, and quadruple dammit! **

**SecretStrawberry12: A nude Light-kun is for me to see and not for u. **

**Goggled-Gamer: Technically, it's not 4 u 2 c either. He has a girlfriend. **

L's heart dropped, the blonde diva flashing through his mind. _Oh. Right. Misa Amanye. _She always seemed to pop up at the worst of times, and it seemed that this was no exception to this unbecoming trait. She was always there, always having a "date" with Light, always hugging his arm, always there with her… _Misa-ness. _Even worse, it was so dreadfully obvious that Light only wanted her for exterior motives - second Kira? - and didn't actually love her. How could he? She was so… stupid. Sure, _someone _might love her some day, but he was sure that it wouldn't be Light.

Surely… not Light.

**SecretStrawberry12: I am aware of that, Matt. **

He didn't have to ask how Matt had figured that out. He knew of his amazing information-gaining skills, weather it be through Google or hacking. Without a doubt Matt had skimmed the ditzy girl's blog, AKA the Light Yagami shrine.

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Wait… Mr. Perfect-Hair-Bondage-Guy is STRAIGHT? WTF? The guy's hair is almost as primped as mine! That guy has "I have every line of Breakfast At Tiffany's memorized" written all over him!**

**Goggled-Gamer: …you could tell that from one picture?**

**SecretStrawberry12: He is not straight. He is using her. He is most defiantly a homosexual.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Using her for what? Is he like, a jerk?**

**Goggled-Gamer: -concern-**

L paused, considering this. Was Light Yagami a jerk?Well, there were lots of things to consider. The way he had punched him in the face for answering a question (twice) and ended up starting a badass battle between the two of them (twice). The way he was using a woman who loved him for (supposedly) all the wrong reasons. The way he put a mask over his real self since childhood and was almost constantly acting, going through the steps in his usual life in his usual way without really feeling anything. The fact that he often stole his sweets but didn't even eat them, just hiding them and smirking as L searched frantically to find them. The way he was always complaining about _everything_ related to the detective.

**SecretStrawberry12: Yes. Light Yagami is a jerk.**

Then L thought again. He thought of the slightly regretful looks Light would toss him after fights. Of the casual way the brunette's hand would brush his, silently speaking volumes with just a tiny hidden gesture. How he'd whisper adorable things in his sleep, and occasionally accidentally cuddle a bit with L in the night, then be very embarrassed and pretend it didn't happen the next morning. The way he refused to defile Misa by even pretending to want to be intimate with her. The way he would tease and joke around about Matsuda's stupidity with L. How he'd share secret smirks with the dark-haired detective over the Task Force and such, and how he always worked passionately on his work while somehow still managing to enjoy himself.

So L added:

**SecretStrawberry12: But it appears that I love him anyway.**

There was a long pause, and L heard the words echo through his head as if he had said them aloud. SO much so that he had to glance over his shoulder at the brunette, to check that his words hadn't somehow awoken the boy. Of course, they hadn't - Light was still peacefully asleep, curled into a ball with a slack little smile on his face. It wasn't often Light looked this gentle. It was nice.

**Mello-not-Yellow: Tempting as it is, I really can't argue with that.**

**Goggled-Gamer: Ditto.**

**SecretStrawberry12: Hah. It appears that I am getting carried away with this conversation. We should save it for a real life conversation, face to face, shouldn't you say?**

There was an obvious pause before the replies binged in, almost at the same time.

**Mello-not-Yellow: Face to face? Really! Awesome!**

**Goggled-Gamer: L, don't say that if you don't mean it. We all know you never come around anymore, especially off-screen. We miss you too much - don't give us false hope you're going to return soon. We both know for a fact you won't be back until the case is over.**

There was another obese pause, and L crumbled a little, for three reasons.

First, it was because he could picture all too perfectly how Mello must have looked at that moment. The excitement slowly draining from his face, the brightness in his big blue eyes fading to a sad tone, lips trembling just slightly. Immediate disappointment. His gentle lightness immediately vanishing to be replaced by a cruel, realistic way of looking at things again. It hurt L to know that he was a major part of what made him this way in the end.

Second, was because he missed his successors. He missed them so badly, it made his heart ache. Painfully so.

Mostly, it was because Matt was right. He was completely, tragically right. There was simply no way to escape a case, especially not one like this. He was chained, quite literally, to his situation here. So until this case came to an end, he would be here.

And if he was right, there was a dreadfully low chance that, when this case did finally end, he wouldn't be around to visit them at all anymore.

**SecretStrawberry12: I apologize, Ms. You are correct. But we **_**will **_**see one another again. Do not underestimate the power of L. **

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Don't bother, L. It's fine. Really. We miss you, tons, but it's fine - you have to finish your work.**

**Goggled-Gamer: Yeah. It's ur job. Don't worry about us.**

**SecretStrawberry12: I truly do wish I could see you, though. **

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Thanks**

**Goggled-Gamer: I know.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: So hey… whenever this stupid Kira case closes… maybe we could do something? We can all get together again, once we're safe from the SOB?**

A whisper of a smile slid involuntarily onto the detectives lips, and he liked to imagine the same happened to the redhead on the other side.

**SecretStrawberry12: Yes. As soon as all of this is over, we will all be together. You, me, Matt, Near, and the other successors. We can do something wonderful.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Can we go to the Godiva store?**

**Goggled-Gamer: And the arcade?**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Your so lame, why would L want to go to an arcade? L loves sweets, not stupid games.**

**Goggled-Gamer: Shut up, bitch. L likes arcades too, don't u, L?**

**SecretStrawberry12: We can do all of that. We can get as much chocolate as we want, and then go to the arcade and I'll play any games you want. We'll do anything you want. It will be wonderful.**

**Goggled-Gamer: That sounds so fun…**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: Alright. You're going to kick Kira's stupid ass and then come on an adventure with us, and we'll have fun all the time. And Light can come too, if the sexy bastard isn't Kira. That's the plan.**

**SecretStrawberry12: Hmmm. Yes. I think that would be delightful.**

**Mello-Not-Yellow: You _promise? _**

L sighed, his fingers seeming to loose all their drive as he pecked the last few words into the messaging box, the weight on his heart seeming to get even heavier as his finger laid on the enter key, sending the two little words into the world with almost too much meaning to bear.

**SecretStrawberry12: I promise.**

He wasn't really sure who he was trying to fool anymore.

_**A/N: Even the happy little fics I try to make turn out depressing at the end. Why is that? Am I just a morbid person? Oh well. Despite the melancholy undertone, I hope you enjoyed XD Also, personally, i freakin love L's username XD **_


	25. Not Quite Fairytales

I've never been a big believer in love at first sight, or even love in general. It always seemed so far fetched to me, like some fairy-tale story. Always looked at love like unicorns or fairies or talking blue jays or dragons. Princesses in story books could have it without a problem, but here, in the real world?

It was just a myth.

But then, every little girl wants a unicorn, or at least a pony. At one point, too, every little boy wants a dragon, either for a pet or to slaughter in order to become a hero. Every little child wishes for that thing that is right out of their reach. And then, when we get older, the habit just sticks. We keep on longing for that thing we'll never have, that make believe thing that we imagine that, maybe, if we reach out _just _far enough, we might be able to reach and get our own little fairytale.

I never believed in love. Never even bothered trying to search for it. Didn't think that it even existed, and that if it did, it was only painful in the end anyway, so why bother?

Then I met you, and you flipped my life upsidown.

I'm not talking you just turned me around gently, or spun me around like a twirl. I'm saying that you grabbed my table of life, with all of it's chess pieces set in perfect orderly fashion, and flipped it over. Scattering my life's little play and sending them rolling across the floor, the base that used to hold me up clattering to the floor. The only thing there to hold me up being the very man who stood in front of the table.

The only thing left that I could see was you, smiling coyly at me. As if you knew something I didn't. Maybe you did.

It wasn't like it was love at first sight, not exactly. Actually, the first time I laid eyes on you, I was pretty sure I hated you.

You were just so strange. Other worldly, almost. You stood oddly, one foot rubbing strangely against the other, shoulders slumped. Your hair was unruly and ebony black, falling into your eyes and sticking up everywhere. The eyes they partially blocked the view of were round and decisive, with black around the bottom, like a panda. Strangely the bags under your eyes weren't quite unappealing, though, and only made your endless black eyes seem even darker. Your clothes were baggy, hiding any curves you might have had, what with those loose-fit jeans and unfitted white t-shirt. You weren't even wearing shoes.

Who could fall in love at first with that, really? Not me, anyway.

It was after you talked to me that I realized that you were different.

It wasn't your voice, exactly, though I did love that. It was decisive and coy, constantly analytical and thought-out. Everything you said was clever, too. I could have an actual _conversation_ with you. It was a new experience, having someone who could talk on my level. Even if your views were completely different, even if the very first thing we did together was fight, the fact we could hold an actual _argument _was a rarity. With most arguments I get into, it's them saying something stupid, me saying something clever but frank, and me winning the argument. Nothing in between.

With you it was… _real. _Not just going through the actions and movements. Not just saying what was expected. Not just saying shrugging and trying to avoid pressing questions. Not just stating the obvious, not just repeating what we already knew. When I spoke to you, you listened, and what's more, you _understood. _You actually thought over each thing I said, I could see it processing in your eyes, and I could see that you were surprised that I could comprehend so well as well. And then you would make your argument, which would almost always be just as convincing as mine. And, in return, I would listen as well, and I would consider. Sometimes, I would even change my mind on things because of you. Others, you would change your mind. More often, though, we would stay stuck in our ways.

But that was okay. Because I was more than happy to be your opposite. We fit together perfectly, completely obvious and yet so very the same.

Then there was the Kira thing.

You would think that Kira would be the thing that would break apart our connection. You would think that, because we were leading opposite sides in this silent mind-game, that we would break any chances of having anything remotely close to love.

This was not the case.

Pitted against each other, put against all odds, stuck together in close proximity even under such negative conditions, caused even more sparks to fly. The arguments got more intense, the fights more physical, the shouts louder, the fuming more obvious. The fire that was between us was enough to scorch any man who dared to even think about coming between us in our quarrels.

And oh how we thrived upon it.

It was what we lived for, fighting. Both with the same goal - justice - but each going about it completely differently. We saw justice as a completely different thing, or rather we saw the way to go about seeing it fulfilled completely different. You stayed on the safe side, and I spilt blood. You was pure, and I was plagued. It was simply how it was.

As Kira, I wanted to kill you. I won't deny it - I wanted you _dead. _Even after I realized how much I loved you, there was still the part of me that wanted to see your blood on my hands. Wanted to see your name on a tombstone and dance on your grave. I wanted to see what friends you may or may not have had grieving and crying and laugh in their faces. I wanted, quite frankly, to murder you, then promptly throw a party celebrating it. Sure, I had convinced myself it was for justice, but that wasn't really the case, not exactly.

I wanted you dead because I wanted to win. You were right in your very first assumption about me, even before you met Light Yagami. I was childish, and I hated to lose. It was something we had in common, and it was much of what kept us together.

We did fall in love. The people beneath the masks, the humans behind the titles - Kira and L - found love with the true selves they were attached to, both metaphorically and because of the shackles. Light and Lawliet found their own selves in one another's arms.

Our love wasn't the love of myth. It isn't the blissful walk off into the sunset after that the princess gets at the end of the story book, there was no innocence, there was no sugar-coating, there was no prince coming to the rescue. Our love was cruel and merciless, our love was a blood-soaked passion that dove down to the very depths of the human soul in such a way that it was impossible to break free of it, even when it hurt so much it sometimes made me want to just give up and die myself. In our fairytale, there was no happy ending.

If we were a fairytale, we would go something like this.

_The prince fell in love with the princess, who suspected him of being a monster, but loved him anyway, because there was no way to save him. The prince was the monster, but he didn't realize it himself until it was too late, and the monster had taken over completely. The princess knew that the monster was back, deep inside, but tried to ignore it. Tried to tell himself that the prince would turn around for the princess (him), but the princess was lying to himself. He knew it too. The prince, the monster, snapped and killed the princess in the cruelest of ways. Not even having the grace to do it himself, no, instead getting the witch to do it for him, and then killing her off, later. Letting the princess die in his arms, so that at that last moment, watching the life drain from his love's endless eyes, the princess would look up and see the monster looking back instead of the prince. And then the princess would be dead, and the monster would be there until he died himself. _

_The End. _

No sugar-coating, no pretty red bow, no mercy. _Life._

Try telling _that _to your seven year old at night, eh?

So no, our love was not the conventional love. Every second, it seemed, was filled with analyzing. Trying to figure out percentages and scenarios; every moment spent together was a test, everything being watched, every move another part of the game. A million questions just begging to be answered. Who will come out on top, Kira or L? Who wins this war?

I couldn't answer that question, even though I was the sole reason the war even existed at all. I couldn't tell you who won, because the truth is, there really wasn't a victor. I thought I had won, for a while. You were dead. I killed you - or rather, Rem did, but it was because of me, anyway. But then he had successors, M and N (and a third who I was unaware of except for like two seconds with the Takada incident) who took me down. Sure, I killed Mello and Matt, but Near - with their help - caught me in the end. And then Matsuda, the man I always called a fool, who I always disregarded as not being a threat, shot me over and over again. And then Ryuk, my own shinigami, ended it.

So who won, really?

You didn't win. You died, so your indivudual fight for justice was ended. Sucks for you, but I really can't say I'm sorry, because it was all a part of the game. I know you'll understand and forgive me for saying that, because I'm certain you would say the same thing in my place. I'm more sorry for the rest of the world. They lost truly a beautiful person.

I didn't win. I died, and Kira's kingdom crumbled afterwards. You already know _that _shitty story, so let's skip it.

Mello didn't win. He lost three times - he lost against me, he lost against Near, and he lost in love, when he lost that Matt kid. I suppose he was just born to lose.

Matt certainly didn't win. He lost his life because he was following some crazy bastard around like a puppy, mindlessly doing whatever he told him to. I'm not sure if that's love or just stupidity, but I guess Mello won a little bit, when he got a guy like that. Better than L did, anyway, since his guy (me) slaughtered him.

And no, Near didn't win, either. He survived, of course. But he lost everything else. He lost L, he lost Mello and Matt, his only almost-friends, and he lost Watari. He lost any hope for gaining any sort of good personality. Maybe with that Gevanni guy, though, there might be hope. I don't know. I honestly don't care what happens to the creepy N guy, actually, but you might like to know that he didn't win. He didn't even succeed in what little he did accomplish without the help of the M's, which had to go practically commit suicide to do it. So no, he didn't win. He just got lucky.

The game was, in it's essence, pointless. What's the point of a game if everyone loses?

But the love, if you could even call it that, was priceless. Every kiss, every touch, every look, every smile. Every fight, every bicker, every punch, every scream, every glare. Every time we truly made love and every time we fucked just to prove we could damn well do it whenever we wanted. That's what I remembered when I died. That's what I cared about, in the end. That's what mattered.

Sure, Kira cared about justice. He cared about the people as a whole. He was God after all.

But the human part of me, the little Light Yagami that was still deep down in there, somewhere, cowering like he was afraid of the dark, too scared of the monster inside of him to creep out anymore without you to protect him. He cared about you. He wished you hadn't died. He cried because he knew that wherever he went, it wouldn't be with you. He begged for a do over. He thought back to that day when I first picked up the death note, and wept, because he could have never went back and gotten that damn notebook.

Fate brought us together, and fate tore us apart. Made us meant to be in love, then pitted us against together in a fight for our lives. Let us fall in love then put justice between us. Gave us passion with a side of hatred, served on an all too tempting silver platter.

Fate gave us our lives.

Fate's a bitch, isn't it, Lawliet?

**A/N: I'm going to write some pointless just-for-kicks happy/fluffy shit now, to make up for all this emo shit. Kkthnxbai. Also, if it accidnetly says "L" or "he" or "him" instead of "you", i'm sorry, i edited this at 1AM. I'm going to have a few typos. I'll fix it tomorow, if i remmeber. XD**


	26. Yearbooks

"Mell! Mell! Mell! Mells!"

Mello froze half way down the hallway in response to his nickname, blonde hair swaying in response just below his chin. A scowl came onto his face as he peeked over his shoulder to find a hyper-active redhead flying down the hall, hugging something to his chest.

"What is it, Matt?" the blonde grumbled, turning reluctantly around. He loved Matt, but sometimes he tired him out. Not that he was one to be talking, but…

"This!" the gamer cried, thrusting forward the object that was in his arms. It was gray and light purple, with a large number reading the year scrawled across the front, and then in small print _Wammy's House. _Mello frowned.

"What the fuck?" he questioned bluntly, poking the book quizzically with one finger. Matt's smile depleted, but he managed to keep the grin on his face, though the pout was obvious in his eyes.

"It's a yearbook," he told him cheerfully, thrusting it forward again so that it bumped against the other boy's hand. Mello moved his hand away, staring at the slender hardcover with a frown.

"We have yearbooks?" Mello wondered a bit stupidly, which was out of character for him. He honestly had no idea - he had been too busy studying.

"What, have you been living under a rock?" Matt teased, knowing full well that, in a way, he had, if the top bunk of their beds counted as a rock. When Mello didn't reply, he rolled his eyes, pulling a second yearbook out of his backpack. "I figured you'd forget, so I got you one, too. Be thankful - their all out now."

Mello frowned. "Thanks I guess," he muttered, snatching his own yearbook and flipping through it. Sure enough, there were al sorts of things inside. No pictures, though, of course. That would be disastrous. Instead, there were drawings, done by the artist kids (mostly Linda, he guessed), of each child. He had to smile when he reached the picture of the Top Three in the center of the book. He knew that Linda had drawn it, because you could see each of their personalities perfectly on the page; Matt hugging Mello's waist, pouting about something, Mello trying to shove him away but only half heartedly, grinning at the same time, and Near sitting on the ground beside them, aimlessly playing with little puppet-versions of the two. If Mello hadn't been in such a prissy mood, he would have been touched.

"Come on, let's sign them!" Matt requested enthusiastically, grabbing Mello's book out of his hands and replacing it with his own. "We can be the first to do each other's!" There was a widening grin on his face at the idea.

Mello sighed, rolling his eyes as his over-excited boyfriend. "Yeah, yeah, alright," he muttered, flipping the book to the last page. In large Cloister Black font at the top of the page, it read _Signatures. _

Matt watched as a whisper of a smile grazed the blonde's face, clicking the button on the gel pen in his hand and scribbling something down. When the redhead tried to peek, Mello moved to block his gaze, smile widening slightly. The redhead rolled his eyes, giddy grin still present on his face as he flipped it open to the signature page, writing his own little scrawl. When each of the boys were done, they exchanged, both with different smiles on their faces.

Over excited as usual Matt gripped his closed yearbook, looking up to catch Mello's reaction before reading his own new signature. The blonde looked down at Matt's neat handwriting on the signature page, eyes scanning the words written.

_Mells,_

_It's been a great year, Mells, and it's all because of you._

_Let's make the rest of our years even better! : )_

_Your's forever, for love or otherwise,_

_Matt_

"You're so cheesy," Mello muttered, blush touching his cheeks just slightly despite his efforts to restrain it. Matt only grinned, emerald green eyes sparkling joyfully at the blonde's reaction. He had actually kind of expected to get the response of a punch in the nose, so this was a pretty good improvement.

Hastily Matt flipped his own book open, flipping to the signature page. His eyes widened as he read the words there, in their almost illegibly messy handwriting that only he could read as usual.

_Hey Matt, _

_It's been a while year, and guess what? _

_You're still my __bitch._

_Kisses,_

_Mello_

"MELLO!" he cried, face flashing to a scarlet tone in response. Mello crackled maniacally, laughing as he sprinted away from Matt's embarrassed, half-hearted swats, taking off down the hallway. The redhead, face still blushing hard enough to match his hair, dashed after him, shouting, "You're so embarrassing!"

"You know it's true!" Mello called back playfully, turning a sharp left turn and dashing down the steps. The gamer spun to chase after him, only to have his yearbook slip from his hands and sprawl to the tile floor below.

_Shit, _Matt cursed inwardly, hurrying over to the abused yearbook. It was laying open, the laminated pages bent beneath. He quickly grabbed it, picking it up so that the page it had fallen open to was still visible. Matt's eyes grazed over it, meaning to close it immediately afterwards, but his eyes caught on something.

In small black scrawl, almost unreadable in their essence, were scribbled down below the picture of The Top Three, written with haste. But Matt could still read them.

_Matt,_

_Sorry I'm a bitch._

_I love you._

_Don't ever forget that._

_-Mello_

Matt smiled, his irritation fading immediately as his heart softened. He always knew that Mello was soft past that cold exterior, but this was a pleasant surprise - it was nice to know he cared.

Carefully, delicately, Matt flipped the yearbook closed, sealing the proof of their love away inside it's bindings as he turned to run after Mello again. The smile on his face still present, unable to wipe off his face in the face of true, unconditional love, letting only one innocent little wish escape unheard from his lips.

"_If only this could last forever…"_

**A/N: Yay! You got your fluff. Are you happy now? Even though that last line had a very dim melancholy undertone again… but whatever 8D This was inspired because everyone's yearbook-crazy around now, since it's about a week until school's over X3 So anyways, I hope you enjoyed.**


	27. Gender Confusion

"Hey Matt?"

The redhead blinked, tilting his head to the side. Mello was sitting at the edge of the bed in only his boxers, fingering the seam of the undergarment with a strange look on his face. Matt felt a feeling of unease - they'd just made love last night, and it had been amazing. At least, for him. He had assumed Mello enjoyed it to (he was horrible at faking it) but by the look on his face…

"What is it?" he asked warily, turning away from where he had been searching (to no avail) for his game boy.

Mello didn't reply except to scoot slightly to the left, a silent sign for Matt to sit beside him. Sighing, the gamer obliged, strolling over and settling down beside his lover, letting his arm gently come around his waist. "What is it, Mells?" he repeated softly, trying to meet the blonde's eyes, but the other boy was avoiding his gaze.

"Don't laugh, okay?" Mello whispered, voice unhappy. Matt frowned and nodded his head, listening attentively as usual. Taking in a deep breath Mello turned to look at him, endless sapphire blue gaze searching the other boys.

There was a long, wary silence between them, and for a moment Matt thought that perhaps Mello had changed his mind about telling him w hat was going on, but then Mello spoke, voice soft. "Matt, would you love me no matter what?"

Matt frowned. "Of course I would," he replied honestly, not sure where this was going. Mello's gaze detached from his again, resting on his feet.

"Matt… I think I'm getting a gender change."

Time stopped.

Well, not actually, but it seemed that way to Matt. The redhead couldn't believe what he was hearing, his heart metaphorically halting in it's rhythm in shock. Here was the man who kicked the ass of anyone who mistook him for a girl, here was the man who bragged about how badass he was. Here was the man who had convinced him he was gay. I mean, he looked enough like a girl as it was, but… this seemed almost impossible. He'd never expected this, not after everything.

"Gender change?" Matt echoed stupidly.

"Yep," Mello muttered, shrugging his shoulders. Matt did a double take, gathering himself again and allowing his arms to tighten around the blonde.

"If that's… what you want to do, I won't be upset," Matt began cautiously, unable to read the blank expression in the blonde boy's eyes. "It was kind of unexpected, but I mean… if it would make you happy, I'll love you anyway, girl guy or whatever." A pause, then he added, "You shouldn't worry about me on that level, I'd pretty much be attracted to you no matter what."

Mello cracked a smile at this, looking back to his feet with a slight blush on his cheeks, showing teeth with his rare, honest expression. For a while they both just sat there, Matt staring at him and trying to imagine the blonde with boobs.

He couldn't do it.

Finally, Matt looked at him again, his face screwing up slightly. "Are you… seriously getting a gender change?" he questioned, obviously unnerved, his green eyes flickering with disbelief.

At this Mello could take it no longer, and a huge grin spliced his face, peeking over at the redhead with a giddy expression on his face. "Psh. No!" he cried, throwing his head back and bursting into ecstatic laughter.

Matt gasped, disbelieving as his friend collapsed onto the bed, bellowing with laughter. "You should have seen your face! Priceless! _Priceless_!" he squealed, crackling manically.

The redhead glared at his lover, who was quite apparently 100 percent male inside and out, and promptly tackled him, playfully wrestling him around on the bed. The two laughed and yelled in a teasing fashion until finally Mello was seated on Matt's lap, grinning triumphantly.

"Well, now that I know you're definitely 100% guy again, how about more buttsex?" Matt teased, wrapping his arms around Mello's still bare waist. Mello grinned, sapphire eyes glowing.

"Sound's like a plan."

**A/N: XDD I couldn't resist. Anyways, i still don't own death note, nor do i own gender changes.**


	28. You Kind of Owe Me

"Hey Matt?" Mello inquired, kicking his legs up on the armrest of the couch and laying his head on Matt's lap, looking up at him with inquisitive blue eyes. Matt peered down at him questioningly, abandoning the show that was on TV in favor of paying attention to the blonde. "Hmm?"

"I wore that Peach costume," he reminded him.

Matt frowned. "Yeah, I remember…" he said, slowly. And he did. He not only remembered the costume itself, but the intesne sexual experience that had come afterwards. Ah yes... that had been a good day indeed.

"So you kind of owe me," Mello continued, eyes flickering with mischief.

Matt felt himself go a little pale, good feelings from the memory vanishing. "I guess so?" he offered, already dreading what was to come.

Mello smirked, the idea that had randomly appeared in his mind flickering to life. "_Well_…"

* * *

"I am not enjoying this. At all."

Mello crackled manically, clapping his hands with approval, throwing his blonde hair over his shoulder as he did. "Ah-ha! Whatever, you look adorable!"

Matt glared at the blonde, crossing his arms over his chest. "That does not make my pride as a man feel any less injured," he retorted, attempting to hide his blush behind his bangs. Mello grinned widely, enjoying this very much.

"Aww, Matty, don't be self conscious," he teased, getting to his feet and strolling over, not-so-casually slinging his arm around the redhead's shoulders, pulling him into a kind of side-hug. "You make a_ wonderful _maid."

Matt's blush intensified, clutching the fluffy duster in his hand tighter and swinging it around to whack the blonde over the head with it. The attack didn't hurt at all, and the blonde only laughed, releasing the redhead. Indeed, Matt did make a wonderful maid, donning a full-out costume for it. Not just the dress, either. It had the whole shebang - leggings, gloves, buttons, undershirt, shoes, even the little hat-thing. Mello could hardly believe he had forced him into it.

"You're a bastard, Mello," Matt muttered, crossing his arms and glaring at him. Mello grinned.

"_Master,_" Mello corrected. When Matt's eyes boggled, Mello chuckled. "I had to call you Mario, you have to call me Master."

"Fine. You're a fucking bastard, _Master,_" Matt corrected sarcastically, smoothing down the dress's poofing fabric. Mello's smirk widened, grabbing a camera out of his pocket and raising it to his eye.

"Say cheese, my adorable little maid-boy," Mello announced. Matt's eyes widened in anger and disbelief as the flash went off on the camera. Mello grinned, looking at the picture in the little screen, the moment caught forever on film, embarrassed expression and all.

Matt frowned, momentarily regretting ever forcing Mello to dress up as Peach. Then again, that _had _been awesome. But worth this?

Beside him, Mello's smirk widened even further, narrowing his eyes mischievously. "You look fabulous in the costume, admittedly," he began, then chuckled and strolled over, so that they were barely brushing together, causing the redhead to blush. "Now let's see how fast I can rip it off."

Matt's eyes widened as Mello's lips crushed against his, the last coherent thought going through the redhead's mind turning out to be a wistful, _I think I can live with this._

_**A/N: I couldn't resist XD You can leave it to your own imagination how the maid-sex went. I was tempted t o write it, but I want to keep this story rated T, so I didn't. XDD Anyhoo, obviously this is a sequel of sorts to Just Peachy. Mello got his revenge… -shakes head-**_


	29. Every Night

An eight year old Mello had flopped himself on the couch, bent rather gymnastically over the arm of the couch, his legs kicked up in the air. Upsidown in his vision, an almost-eight year old Matt stood in the doorway, looking at the blonde with curious dark green eyes.

"Hey, Mell?" the redhead whispered questioningly, shuffling his bare feet nervously.

Mello groaned. The way Matt had asked the question was definitely _that _way. The way that said that the question his friend wanted answered was an awkward one that he was too embarrassed to ask anyone else in the orphanage except him, since they were best friends and what not. Sometimes, Mello regretted having friends for t his reason, but it wasn't like it didn't go both ways.

Sighing, Mello flipped himself over the armrest, landing on his feet like a cat before spinning on his ankle to face his friend. For a second Matt paused to take awe in the blonde's grace - he was the farthest thing from graceful at this age, pretty much the biggest klutz ever really. Shaking this off, Matt bit his lip, looking up at Mello much like a puppy, waiting for permission to ask.

Mello sighed, rolling his blue eyes with exasperation. "What do you want, Matt?" he inquired with exasperation.

Matt shuffled his feet again before looking up at Mello with big, curious green eyes. Mello smirked inwardly - _cute. _"Um, well…" he began, nose wrinkling with his confusion. "I was listening to the older kids talk… and you know I wasn't meaning to…"

"Out with it, Matt," Mello snapped, crossing his dainty arms over his chest impatiently.

Matt clutched his hands behind his back, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly, keeping his gaze down on his feet. For a second, Mello smiled a little - the redhead acted so innocent at this age. Actually, they both did, in comparison to what they might be like when they were older. Finally Matt looked back up at the blonde, breathtakingly innocent green eyes wider even than usual.

"Mello, what's sodomy?" he squeaked, voice high-pitched with nervousness, blush on his cheeks, embarrassed that he truly had no idea.

The blonde literally fell backwards, slipping on the floorboards and onto his butt. Groaning, Mello rubbed the back of his head, stunned. Matt yelped, hurrying forward and reaching his hand out to help his friend up, eyes large and apologetic. Mello only slapped his hand away hopping to his feet again, spinning to look at him. His expression was bewildered. "Where did you even hear that term?"

"Veil was talking about it," Matt explained, shuffling his feet. Mello sighed.

"That's obvious," he told him with exasperation, rolling his eyes. "Clearly, sodomy is when two guys 'lay together'." Mello put air quotes around lay together, mostly because he hadn't a single idea what that actually implied. Matt blinked, frowning deeply. But all the blonde could do is shrug. "That's what the Bible says, so it must be true."

Matt shrugged. He was an atheist, but he wouldn't tell Mello this, especially since he himself had only just learned the definition of that word. "So it's just… laying around with another guy?" he inquired.

"I guess," Mello said, slowly, trying to think back to where he had learned about that. In church, maybe?

"Is it, like, fun?" Matt tired again, tilting his head just a degree to the side, a innocent little curve of a frown on his face. "Sodomy? Because Veil said it was 'enticing.'"

"Really?" Mello couldn't remember what exactly the preacher who had told him about Sodomy had said about it. "I'm pretty sure it's not allowed," the blonde told him, biting his lip.

"Since when do we follow rules?" Matt pouted, crossing his arms poutily. Mello raised an eyebrow at him.

And then he grinned. "You're right, Mattie, we don't!" he laughed, grabbing Matt and flinging him on the bed. The redhead gasped in surprise, letting out giggles as he promptly stumbled right into the bedpost like the klutz that he was. Mello wasted no time scrambling on after him, flopping down beside him and burying his face in the redhead's shoulder.

"Burr, you're feet are cold, Mel!" the redhead cried, squirming around. Mello giggled and squirmed too, pressing his cold feet on Matt's warm ones. After a while the redhead gave up, relaxing and letting Mello curl his legs around his.

Matt opened his eyes - which had squeezed shut during the squirming - only to squeak in surprise. Mello's e yes were inches from his, drowning him in sapphire blue, a giant smirk on the blonde's face. "Well hello," Mello greeted teasingly at the shocked expression on his friends face.

The redhead grinned back, rolling over slightly so that they weren't _quite _so close. "This is silly," he giggled, still tangled in both sheets and his friend's limbs. Mello grinned.

"It's fun though," the blonde reminded him. Then he laughed a bit mischievously, an impish grin on his face. "I feel so bad."

"I know, right?" Matt laughed, wriggling into a more comfortable position, letting his previously cramped arms wriggle underneath Mello for comfort. When the blonde didn't complain, he relaxed, smiling. "We should do sodomy more often."

"Every night," Mello agreed, laughing a little before relaxing against the redhead, a grin still present on his face.

Little did they know.

**_A/N: Some promises are just meant to be kept, man. I'm not sure what compelled me to do this XD little kids are just so innocent… kind of :P _**


	30. Fangirls

Mello was having a nice relaxing afternoon splayed out completely naked on his bed, blasting the AC and trying his best to beat the heat, when Matt suddenly burst in.

Pausing for only a second to stare at Mello's general nakedness Matt whipped the door shut, panting. "Holy shit… that was close…"

The blonde watched with dim amusement as the redhead panted against the door, a look of distress on his face. He looked pretty beat up for some reason, his goggles crooked over his eyes, hair messy, clothes riled and ripped, socks mysteriously missing, and… Mello frowned. Was that lipstick on his cheeks?

"Matt, where the hell have you been?" he questioned irately, sitting up and raising a questioning eyebrow at the redhead.

Matt looked up at him, a look of horror on his face. "I got mobbed by fan girls, Mello, fan girls!" he cried, frantically adjusting his goggles and shoving them onto his forehead. Mello couldn't help but laugh despite his pity, waltzing over and licking his finger before using that same finger to wipe the lipstick off of his boyfriend's cheek like a mother might. And, like a child to a mother, Matt squirmed in irritation, grumbling about 'damn fan girls and their lipstick'.

"That's hilarious," Mello informed him once he was done with his wiping, grinning evilly. Matt scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Is not! Fan girls are nice, but in person…" he shuddered. "I swear a few of them have rabies or something. Do you realize how many glomps I got? That is the LAST time I walk by an anime convention…" Mello giggled. Yes: giggled. Don't you dare comment, or he'll come in his sleep and murder you. Yes, _his _sleep - you'll be too scared to sleep.

"Not just that," Mello teased, grinning cheekily. "The fact you have _so many _fan girls. You're in, like, four panels."

Matt frowned, feeling an angry blush come to his cheeks. "Hey! You jerk!" he accused, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not my fault I was busy doing your background crap the entire time."

Mello smirked. "Still. Half of the people don't even know who you are," the blonde teased, poking him in the stomach. "You're an _extra._"

Matt gasped, as if highly offended, hands on his hips as he glared at the blonde in front of him. "I'll have you know I was secretly in almost _every _panel, I was just hiding in the background unnoticed, because that's just how fucking awesome I am at spying," he announced, grinning broadly.

"Sure you were," Mello scoffed, rolling his eyes, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Doesn't mean you were any more important."

"Hey!" Matt pouted. "At least it means I'm just to that level of awesome that I have all those fans from _five panels. _In _your _first five panels, everyone thought you were a _girl._"

Mello gasped, glaring at him. "They did not!" he cried, slapping Matt's hand angrily. "Son of a bitch!"

Matt cracked up, unable to hold back his full-scale laughter, throwing his head back ungratefully as he exploded into hysterics. "You know its true! You know it!" he shouted through his laughter, dodging the half-hearted blows from Mello. "You can't hide your girly hips behind that jacket, Mellow Yellow!"

"I hate you so much!" Mello lied, flailing angrily.

"Look on the bright side," Matt reasoned cheerfully. "We have more fans than Misa, and she's a main character for _both _arcs."

"That's true…" Mello said slowly, tapping his finger to his lips. Then he smirked. "And I'm prettier than her too."

"Tch. You contradict yourself so much," Matt snickered, shaking his head. Mello only rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm going to go shower," he announced, spinning on his heel. He stopped inside the doorway of the bathroom, however, looking over his shoulder. "And Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Guard the door. I don't want fan girls getting in again."

Matt sighed, rolling his eyes. "Will do…"

_**A/N: D: BUT WE **__**WANT **__**TO COME IN! Darn you, Matty! XD we all know we're dying to see Mello shower… hmmm… -spaces out-…-blinks- oh yeah! The authors note! *makes mental note to go back to naughty thoughts at later hour* okay, so yeah, I'm not realy sure why I wrote this… I was feeling giddy and what not because I JUST HAD MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! OH THE JOY! OH THE EMOTION! OH THE RELEIF! OH THE NOGALISTIA! OH THE SUMMER FEVER! HUZZAH HUZZAH! …kkthnxbai.**_


	31. Just Making Sure

"Hey Mel…?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you… love me?"

"No."

"…oh… um... sorry... okay."

"Matt, don't be a dumbass, of course I love you."

"Oh! Good! I love you too."

Mello sighed, rolling his eyes and leaning back on the lamppost, shaking his head. "You called me just to ask me that?" he accused, pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he moved to retrieve a chocolate bar from his pocket.

On the other line Mello could hear a muffled chuckle. "Just making sure."

"Goodbye, Matt."

A sigh. "Okay. Be home soon." Matt paused, and then, "And don't die."

Mello rolled his eyes. "Why would I die? What am I going to do, blow myself up?" He laughed bitterly at the thought.

"Hah, yeah, you're right," Matt laughed on the other end, though his laughter was nervous and uncertain. "Just…"

"I'll be careful," Mello promised.

He was lying.

_**A/N: WELL THEN… that was needlessly sad -_- Baww… I should be working on Heartburn, but I'm feeling lazy atm… so you might have to wit for updates on that for a while. Sorry.**_


	32. Bun Bun Bunny Bun

Mello was hoping for a peaceful day today. He didn't have any work to do for once, and he was enjoying just laying out on the couch, enjoying the perfect weather and letting the sunshine splay over him from the window, warming his skin. He was about to fall asleep when Matt shuffled in. From the way he did it, it was obvious he was trying to sneak past without the other noticing.

But, of course, he did. Mello frowned, opening one eye at him. "Matt?" he inquired.

Matt froze, half way down the hallway, not turning around. "Erm… yeah, Mel?" he called back lazily. Mello frowned.

"Why are you sneaking around?" he prompted, sitting up in his seat.

Matt shrugged his shoulders, peeking over at him, tactically keeping his furry jacket pulled over himself. "Nothing, Mel, I just thought you were asleep," Matt offered, along with a nervous laugh. "You know how you are when I wake you up…"

The blonde narrowed his eyes, pushing himself off of the couch and stalking over to his roommate. Matt winced, taking a step back, but he knew he was defeated when Mello stopped in front of him, narrowing his eyes, hands on his hips. "What's in your arms, Matt?" he demanded.

Matt deflated, batting his eyelashes innocently, a sly smile sliding across his face. "You know how I've always kind of wanted a pet?" he began slowly, shuffling his feet. Mello's eyes widened, dread falling over him.

Before Mello could say or do anything rash Matt pulled back his jacket - which Mello now realized had an unusual bulge in it - to reveal… "Oh god, Matt, are you serious? A _bunny?_ Could you choose anything more girly?"

Matt gasped, pulling the strangely calm white creature into a careful embrace, glaring at the blonde with a blush on his face. "For your information, it is a RABBIT."

"Oh well _excuse me _if they're the _same thing_," Mello snapped, glaring at the offending object in Matt's hands. The creature stared right back with very un-rabbit-like calmness, pink eyes showing no apparent fear or curiosity at all, little nose twitching.

Suddenly, Mello gasped. "NEAR! THAT RABBIT IS A NEAR RABBIT!"

"What?" Matt inquired, confused. Mello glared at the redhead, propping his hands on his hips.

"It's an albino, Matt! That bunny! It's an albino bunny, just like that bastard Near!" the blonde cried, throwing his arm into the air. Instinctively Matt pulled the rabbit closer to him, shielding the animal with his arms.

"It's a _rabbit,_" Matt corrected again, petting the creature's ears protectively. "And don't compare a _rabbit _to _Near, _Mello, you'll offend him."

Mello frowned. "Like I give a shit if I offend Near," he growled, glaring again at the rabbit. The creature only continued to stare with it's pink eyes, and to this day the blonde swore it was smirking at him.

"Not _Near,_ Cloud!" Matt scoffed, petting the rabbit in his arms defensively. Mello stared at him incredulously, a deep frown set on his face. The redhead shrugged. "I named him after the Final Fantasy guy."

"You NAMED IT?" Mello shrieked, face palming.

Matt frowned. "Of course I did," he replied, giving his boyfriend a look that read something along the lines of wtf-did-you-expect-me-to-do-you-bastard?.

"But that means we have to keep it!" Mello wailed, giving Cloud a death-glare through his fingers. At this the rabbit gave the tiniest of starts, only to continue simply sniffing aimlessly at the air as usual.

Matt stared at him incredulously. "Yeah. I was kind of hoping to keep him as a pet," he replied innocently, lifting the creature under the arms towards Mello's face with a grin on his face. "Isn't he cute?"

Mello stared at the creature, and it stared back at him, it's creepy eyes staring at him blankly, nose twitching. He had a decision to make here, and he bit his lip, thinking it over. _What's more intense? That bunny's creepiness, or Matt's puppy-dog eyes. _Mello groaned, because he already knew the answer.

"_Fine…_" Mello grumbled, shaking his head. Before Matt could react, though, he added, "on one condition."

"Hmm?"

Mello scowled. "It can't be in the room when we fuck."

Matt jumped for joy, hugging the bunny a bit too tight to his chest and doing a happy dance around the house before running over and landing a peck on Mello's lips. "Thank you Mel-Mel!" he squealed, dancing away with rabbit in tow. "That's no problem, Mel-Mel! Thank you! Thank you so much! I love you! I'll take real good care of my bunny, I promise! Thank you!"

Mello sighed, watching as his boyfriend bounced away cheerfully, giggling and talking to himself (or rather, to the bunny) the entire way, shaking his head remorsefully. "Dammit… I'm going to regret this later, aren't I?" he muttered, flopping onto the couch. And, as he did in almost every circumstance, he growled, "This is all your fault, Near."

Somewhere across the country, Near sneezed.

_**A/N: …um…what?**_

_**A video compelled me. Go to you tube and look up Bun Bun Bunny Bun. It's by PerryGripp. XDD Just… don't question it. It's addicting -_- but anyways… Do you guys like Cloud XD he might show up again. He's kind of creepy but adorable at the same time. If you're wondering why I kept describing the bunny creepily, it's because it's Mello-centric and he doesn't like it because it looks (and kind of acts) like near. XD just fyi.**_

_**SO WATCH THE VIDEO. IF YOU DO, YOU GET A FREE VIRTUAL COOKIE :C You know you want to… their bunny-shaped! And L baked them! Come on, you know you can't resist! XD**_


	33. All For Him

The water at the boy's feet rippled leisurely, the pond stretching out before him reflecting the night sky above. The dim light of the moon reflected off his tinted goggles, making them appear to glow. He was frowning at the pool, watching as his image in the water frowned back.

Matt couldn't remember why he had started coming out here. Not only was it against he orphanage rules, but Matt hated the outdoors, even if it was perfect weather as it was that day. He always preferred to stay inside, and at night, he tended to, you know, _sleep, _unlike some of the Wammys children he could mention. So why, then, had he started coming out here every night?

He supposed it must be because of Mello.

Everything, it seemed, was about Mello. It always had been, while he was here, what with the midnight chocolate runs and study sessions till dawn. Matt lived for Mello, no matter what it was that he was doing in his life - it was all for him.

Now that the blonde had vanished… well, nothing had changed, save for the boy's actual presence. Matt _still _lived for Mello, even now that he was gone. When he cried, which was often, it was for Mello. When he forced himself to eat even though he would rather starve to death, it was because Mello would have. When he played video games for hours on end, he found himself still listening for the blonde to order him to stop and pay attention to him instead. On the rare days that he smiled, it was almost always because he was remembering Mello. Even when he took up smoking it was because Mello would have hated it - a tiny personal revenge.

So if this midnight ritual was because of Mello too, Matt wouldn't have been surprised.

"This is freakin' ridiculous," Matt muttered glaring at his reflection on the water's surface. The "Matt" in the water glared back, but he had to admit it wasn't as intimidating as he had anticipated. Matt scoffed. "You're so pathetic, you know that?"The reflection made no argument to this, the glare slowly slipping from it's face. It was fighting tears before Matt realized that he was, too.

Eyes burning with angry tears Matt swept downwards, snatching a rock from the ground and gripping it's cold mass in his hands. "You're pathetic!" Matt cried again, louder this time, the volume of his voice hurting his throat just slightly. He felt no satisfaction as tears rolled down his reflection's cheeks, feeling them on his own face as well as the words echoed through the yard, as if affirming the truth in the statement.

"Just…" Matt choked out, swinging his arm around, rock in hand. He flung it at his reflection as he shrieked, volume high pitched and wavering, "GET OVER HIM!"

Matt watched through blurry eyes as the rock crashed through the surface of the water, sending ripples cascading over it's surface, distorting his own image until it was nothing but an unidentifiable smudge. Not waiting to see if the reflection would ever return to normal Matt stumbled backwards, shaky legs tripping over a soggy fern as he fled back to the orphanage, struggling not to let himself cry but finding himself weeping all the same.

_**A/N: I wrote this after I went horse back riding XD isn't that pleasant? Um… yeah, this was really random -_-' please excuse it's suckiness and slight despressingness. Yeah.**_


	34. Apathedic

Matt was extremely depressed. To be more accurate, he was _miserable. _Laid out on his couch, staring at the ceiling, he felt empty, as if a part of him had been physically ripped from him. As if his heart and rational mind had bled away, leaving nothing more than an empty husk in it's place, staring blandly at the off-white wall above his head. Silently, he begged for something to happen, for the earth to simply open up and swallow him whole. At least that would save him from this miserable existence. But to no such luck - the ugly yellow carpet below him stayed intact, leaving Matt alone on the couch as he was before.

"I hate my life…" the redhead muttered, flipping over and burying his head in the couch pillow, feeling tears welling in his eyes. He felt so pathetic, being like this, being so empty and worthless. It hurt especially so because it was Mello's fault, all completely that blonde boy's fault. Wasn't it always?

"Fuck this…" Matt muttered miserably, rolling off of the couch, walking in that dead-on-his-feet fashion he had become accustomed to, dragging himself to bed, where he planned on sleeping the rest of this worthless day away.

"MATT. STOP BEING AN EMO."

Matt blinked, looking over his shoulder to find Mello glaring at him from the kitchen. "Stop your melodramatic pouting and help me make dinner," the blonde snapped, pointing accusingly to the stove.

"For god sakes, Mello, can't you see that I'm miserable?" Matt complained, waving his arms through the air dramatically. "You took my life and chucked it _out the window!_" Mello sighed, rolling his eyes.

"You can live without your stupid game-boy for one freakin' day, Jeevas," Mello growled, stomping his foot. "It was broken anyway."

Matt scowled, stalking into his bedroom with a huff. "Whatever! I'm still pissed!" he shouted over his shoulder, slamming the door shut.

"Emo!" Mello screeched after him, stomping his foot and going back to attempting to make dinner.

"Homo!" Matt shot back from behind the door, flopping on the creaky mattress with a huff.

"Emo homo!" Mello retorted, then laughed. "Hey, that rhymes!"

"Fuck you!" the redhead replied, burying his head under the pillow. Even doing this, he could hear the blonde's chortling laughter through the walls.

**A/N: This is basically an apology for making Matt such an emo XD apparently Mello is irritated, too. Anywaysss, yeah, we all know Matt is an over-dramatic emo sometimes XD he just is. It's not his fault, it's just his personality! Anyway… yeah. :P Hope this cheered you up, maybe. XD**


	35. Lemons

**A/N: Please, do enjoy this random shit that I wrote on the way into the city to buy roller blades. XD Which I suck at using, by the way.**

Mello sighed, resting his chin on his desk. "Well this sucks…" he grumbled to himself.

Matt, who had been seated beside him, smiled gently, resting a tentative hand on Mello's back. "Mell, listen," he said softly, rubbing his back just slightly. "You've gotta loosen up. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, you know?"

Mello smirked, scoffing outwardly. "Yeah. Well," he muttered, giving the redhead a pointed look. "Unless life gives you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck."

Matt fell silent after that, because there was really no comeback to that.

**A/N: FYI, this was inspired by some bumper sticker thing I saw on Facebook. If you were wondering…**


	36. Run

_**Song: Run by Snow Patrol **_

_**Disclaimer: I am obviously not in Snow Patrol, so this disclaimer is pointless.**_

* * *

_I'll sing it one last time for you_

_Then we really have to go_

"We have to go now, Matt," I whisper, reaching forward to brush my hand through your hair. It's still that musty red color that it always is, still soft to the touch. Some things don't change.

You look up at me, green eyes glittering, free from the goggles for once. And, as always, I can read you like a book. You're scared. You don't want to be, but you are.

I wonder if you can see in my eyes that I'm scared, too.

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done_

I regret a lot of things. But I've never regretted being with you. Not once in our lives together did I regret meeting you that day in Wammys House, nor did I regret falling in love with you.

Not until now. Not until I found myself looking at your angel face, at those pure green eyes, at the smoke-ball gun that rests in those same hands that held me all those years. Not until I realized that I was going to be the death of you.

I was going to regret that for the short remainder of my life.

_And I can barely look at you_

_But every single time I do_

"Do we have to go?" you whisper quietly. I can tell by the tone of your voice that you already know the awnser. That you have lost any hope you might have had before that I would change my mind.

"I do," I respond. I hate myself inside for how hard and cold my voice sounds, as if I don't care. Despite this, I know that you understand that I'm breaking up inside. Because you know me better than anyone else.

_I know we'll make it anywhere_

_Anyway from here_

Proving this point you smile at me. It's a melancholy kind of smile, so far from the glowing, loving smiles that usually accomidate your face. "Then so do I," you reply, getting to your feet to stand beside me. I wonder if you can tell that my hands are shaking.

We walk out of our shit-hole apartment together without a word. It pains me to glance over my shoulder at it, at the broken door that doesn't rest right on it's hinges, at the ever-crooked door handle. Shitty as can be.

It's our home. I'll never see it again.

"You don't have to go," I say suddenly, glancing gup at him. "This isn't your fight. It's mine."

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

You smile at me again, your green eyes flickering with surprise before you pull the goggles over them, shielding them from me, leaving me only with the view of the empty smile on your lips. "Don't be stupid," you whisper. "What's yours is mine, Mel, and vice versa. I won't be left behind. I'm yours."

Most men wouldn't admit to that. Most wouldn't give up. But you've given up a long time ago, haven't you?

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

Somehow we reach the elevator. As the doors slide shut, I look down at my feet, feeling the tears burn in my eyes but knowing that they won't fall. It's been so long since I've cried. So long. "I don't want to leave you," I whisper. I think for a moment that you don't hear me, but then, you always do.

"Hey now, Mel," you laugh, reaching over to hold my hand. The feeling, despite how small, is a good one, and I return the squeeze you've given. You smile, an expression much less melancholy than the last of it's kind. "You're not leaving me. We'll make it out."

_Louder louder_

_And we'll run for our lives_

The elevator door slides open with a ding. I smile, but I know it comes out pained and horrible as I mutter the truth.

"No we won't." It was the first time I had admitted it to myself. But you smile, because you already knew.

_I can hardly speak I understand_

_Why you can't raise your voice to say_

You follow me as you always do, still holding my hand as I lead the way out of the elevator, out of the apartment building. I wonder, in the back of my mind, if I'll ever see that grumpy old bellhop again. He glares at me, lke he always does, but for once I only smile at him. Really, I think it only makes him frown more.

"You're not leaving me," you whisper again suddenly as we reach the parking lot, haulting out of no where in your stroll. I flinch and look up at you to find that you've removed the goggles again, pushed them down to rest lazily around your neck. I can see your eyes there, the green beauties that I'd always adored, even as a child.

_To think I might not see those eyes_

_Makes it so hard not to cry_

"Even if we die, you'll still be with me," you whispered strongly, pulling me gently forward. I relax into the movement, letting my forehead rest on your chest. You still smell like you always do - like an ash tray. To think that I would ever miss that smell…

"We'll always be together, Mello. I love you," you promise me into my ear, hugging me tight. You sound so sure. I can't help but believe you, even if I'm not sure myself, despite my consant ranting about being a Catholic. Really, I never truly believed - it never really settled into my heart just saying Hail Marry over and over, just wearing the rosary and listening to the Bible stories.. Now, having you hold me, I want to believe.

_And as we say our long goodbye_

_I nearly do_

I feel myself choking up now, and I burry my face into your shirt. Same stripes, the black and red one today. Some things really never change, do they? Same for me, I suppose. I can feel myself choking, the tears stinging my eyes and making my breathing harsh in the process, but still the tears do not fall. They never do. I haven't cried since I was 8 years old; I'm beguining to think I never will again.

"I love you too, Matt," I whisper, my voice high and wavering in it's strggle not to cry. I don't know why I struggle. I want to cry so bad, and that it would make me feel better…

But it won't fix anything. I know this. And it's days like this one that I realize I hate being so rational.

_Light up..._

"We have to go," you remind me quietly, your voice gentle. I can tell just by that voice that you didn't want to remind me, that you wanted to let me simply forget. But you know… you know it simply doesn't work that way.

I pull away from you, looking up into your eyes. For a moment there, I wish I could simply fall into them, drown in that expressive sea of emerald green. But I know my wish won't be granted, and settle instead for leaning up on my tip toes to land a kiss on your lips. The move is chaste and sweet, nothing sexual about it, simply loving. I know, pressing my lips softly to yours as I have a million times before, that the action isn't really a kiss.

It's a goodbye.

_Slower slower_

_We don't have time for that_

I pull away from you, letting my fingers linger on your chest a few moments more before I take a few steps back, keeping my eyes on his for as long as I can. We don't exchange any more words. We don't have to.

In the end, I suppose silence has always been the best way to talk to me.

_I just want to find an easier way_

_To get out of our little heads_

You pull your goggles back over your eyes, smile one last, sarcastic kind of half-smile, and turn away towards your car. This movement is so final I could have broken down right there, had I been a weaker person. But, painful as it was, I was too strong for that.

_Have heart my dear_

_We're bound to be afraid_

I don't remember crying. I don't remember breaking down. I don't remember being afraid.

I know that if I survive and he doesn't, I will be forced to.

It doesn't matter though. I won't get that chance.

I climb onto my motorcycle and force myself to drive away without looking back at the angel watching me leave. Knowing that, if I do, I won't be brave enough to leave you.

I died within the hour of your death. I died because I took the helmet off, a move so stupid that I you might call me stupid for doing so, but it wasn't an accident. I knew what I was doing - I was giving Takada an opening. To kill me. Because I knew you were going to die. And you did.

_Even if it's just for a few days_

_Making up for all this mess_

I can't tell you that I regret the path I took, because it led me to you. I can only hope you'll forgive me for dragging you down it too. And as I close my eyes, that last thought of you filtering through my mind, I hope that wherever I end up next, you'll be there waiting for me.

**Fin**

_**A/N: Ummm… I really don't know where this came from… I was in the middle of writing a totally light-spirited chapter of the co-authoring fic I'm doing with Atryel when I started listening to this and… this fic happened :P Yeah… anyways, this is so genaric I could barf, so please, forgive me ^^; I'l go work on something important now… if I don't procrostinate some more ; ) **_


	37. Toying Around

"Um… Matt?"

Mello peered around the doorframe, his eyes wide with surprise. Mello wasn't surprised a lot, but upon the sight of Matt curled on the floor in only his boxers, crying and laughing at the same time, he had rights to be surprised.

Especially because he was hugging MarshMello. And by MarshMello he meant the teddy bear, the fuzzy golden teddy bear that smelled like chocolate, the teddy bear with one button eye missing, the teddy bear that was so ratty from overuse and musty from later underuse, the teddy bear that Mello hadn't seen since their Wammy's days, when Matt insisted on sleeping with it every night (and naming it after him).

Matt blinked the tears out of his eyes, hugging MarshMello tight against his chest with a half defensive, half tearful, and semi-loving expression in his deep green eyes. He peered up at Mello with such expression, which immediately made Mello's defensive confusion melt into worry and adoration, something nobody but Matt could do to him.

"Matty, did something happen…?" he inquired carefully, slipping through the doorframe to crouch beside him. The sight of a grown man cuddling a teddy bear _was _strange, at least to most people, but Mello had seen much stranger in his time and was now simply worrisome. "Did something happen? Thinking about… _that _again?" By _that _he meant the explosion or Mello leaving him years ago, one of the two, since as of now had been the only reasons Matt ever broke out the bear.

But Matt shook his head, burying his face rather cutely into the fur of the teddy bear. "No," he murmured, a pouted expression in his eyes. Mello raised his eyebrows, hesitating a moment before speaking. He wanted to comfort his (boy)friend, he really did, but the thing was… well, Mello wasn't exactly good at comforting people, especially not Matt, since he got upset for the most ridiculous reasons. What with the whole Steve/Resident Evil freak-out (he cried often when video game charecthers died you see), Mello had found it difficult to take Matt's cry-fits seriously. But then again, Matt got upset for serious reasons too, and with good backing. What with Mello leaving him those years ago, his parents being murdered right in front of his eyes, ect, ect…

"Matt…" Mello started after taking a deep breath, reaching out a hand to place it gently on the redhead's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Promise you won't laugh?" Matt asked nervously. Mello nodded eagerly, though inside his head he wasn't quite as sure as he was positive he appeared. Matt sighed, looking away.

"It's just that…" he whispered, pulling MarshMello into a tighter hug. "I just watched Toy Story 3."

There was a long silence, one awkward and tense, consisting of Matt hugging MarshMello tightly and avoiding eye contact with the blodne beside him, siad blonde staring at him with bewilderment, and the teddy bear in his arm's having it's arm threatening to pop off (again).

Finally, Mello spoke. His voice was bewildered as his expression. "Toy Story?"

"The third one," Matt confirmed quietly, peeking at Mello.

"Matt!" Mello howled, leaping to his feet and swinging his arm around to cuff the redhead over the shoulder. "You fucking baby!" Mello smirked and scowled simultaneously as he spun around and charged out of the room (something he could do quite easily and uniquely) slapping his hand over his mouth as Matt's strained voice followed him out of the room.

"MELLOOOOO YOU BASTARDDD!"

Mello only grinned and called back, "I didn't laugh, right?" That was the truth.

But _inside_ he was howling.

**A/N: My only explaination for this is that I watched toy story 3 tonight with riley, and omigod I tottaly cried three frikkin times. XDD not even joking. But it was a fabulous movie, so go see it (especially if you watched it as a kid). Hearts. ~Holli**

_**Pointless Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Matt, Mello, teddybears, or Toy Story 3. Though i do love all of them with ALL MAH HEARTS.**_


	38. Quiz

It wasn't every day that Matt opened a magazine, much less actually read one. And when he did, he certainly didn't flip to the stupid quizzes in the back, and certainly when he did this he didn't go looking for the stupidest one in the book. **Tell The Truth **it was titled, combined with sparkles and pink and flower shit.

The only reason he'd even opened it at all was because of extreme boredom. His roommate Mello had locked him out in a fit after he found out Matt had engaged in friendly conversation with Near (it was like two sentences, and only for homework, as Matt had tried to explain, but it didn't matter to Mello). So Matt was left with himself, his boredom, a game he had beaten seven times on his handheld, and a couple of old magazines that sat outside in the hallway.

And so what else was Matt suppose to do? He wasn't going to read any of the damn articles, that's for sure. So he grabbed a pen (placed conveniently in his pocket for a reason he couldn't remember) and set to work.

**Question One: Who's your best friend?**

Well, that was an easy one. Matt rolled his eyes and wrote his answer down, fighting back a little smile. _**Mello. **_Matt could still remember the day they'd officially become friends, and it still of course brought a smile to his lips.

"_Mell, we're friends, right?" Matt had inquired randomly one lazy Sunday morning, draping himself over the foot of his roommate's bed. Said roommate was crouched over a giant textbook, studying as usual with chocolate bar shoved in his mouth. At the inquiry Mello looked up in surprise, blue eyes glittering with defensiveness, as if he'd been threatened by the words._

_After a long stare-down, though, Mello finally cracked, a smile splitting his face. "Yeah, Matty," he mused, biting off another chunk off of his chocolate bar. Matt had to blink at the wild look in his eyes as he added, "We're definitely friends."_

_Matt paused uncertainly for a moment before turning to him completely, smiling a little uncertainly. "Best friends…?" he asked waveringly. Mello blinked, blue eyes glistening; Matt could see the gears turning in his friend's blue eyes, and could hear his own heart pounding in his chest for reasons he couldn't explain, fear of rejection boiling in his stomach._

_Finally, Mello let out one of his rare, true smiles. "Yeah. Best friends."_

**Question Two: Have you ever kissed someone?**

What was this, Truth or Dare? Matt snorted, shaking his head in distaste, but in the back of his mind a memory was playing. Now that he thought of it, the only person he'd ever kissed was Mello, and that was…

That was…

_It was Christmas Eve and all the children were running rampant, squealing and giggling and singing the few carols they knew. The kitchen smelled of gingerbread and a giant pine tree sat in the main room, decorated with lights and ornaments. There used to be candy-canes on the tree as well, but those had quickly been fought for and eaten. Red and green lights were strewn everywhere, decorations ran rampant, and kids in Santa hats weren't an odd sight to be seen. All and all, it was both cheerful and chaotic._

_Some of the oldest were even drinking liquor, Mello included, throwing back glass after glass - he was upset, that was why, because L wasn't showing up this year. He was too busy with whatever bullshit case he was working on now. Therefore, Mello was depressed and throwing back liquor, even though he was only thirteen (and a half). Around seven P.M. though Matt finally managed to drag the blonde out of their room to join the excitement, managing to avoid Near and Linda as they did so, at least until they reached the dining hall. Matt hadn't ever been more shocked and embarrassed as when the brunette girl suddenly screeched upon their entrance, "MATT AND MELLO ARE UNDER THE MISTLE TOE! THEY HAVE TO KIIISSSS!"_

_Mello's face had turned bright red, red as Matt's hair most would say, and it was something that was both adorable and frightening to Matt. He had felt sure that the blonde would refuse to do such a thing and instead just rip the little mistletoe leaf to shreds, followed by Linda and maybe Near, who was staring at them at the time, but he was wrong. Mello had grabbed Matt by the hair and jerked him into a kiss that was both exhilarating (because it was his first kiss) amazing (because Mello was a good kisser even though that had been the blonde's first kiss too as far as Matt knew) horrifying (because everyone was watching) and painful (because their teeth had clacked together at first). It was a day Mello had insisted Matt forget, to wipe from his mind and never mention again. It was the only order Matt could remember ever disobeying._

**Question Three: Favorite Song?**

Wow, these questions were random. Really random. Matt sighed and went to scribble down some random Hawthorn Heights song down off the top of his head when another unwanted memory fluttered into his head again.

"_Dude, Mello! This song! Ah-hah, this is your song!" _

_Mello scowled at Matt as he rolled around on the floor, howling in laughter at the song that had shown up on the radio. "Shut the hell up, Matt, it is not," Mello grumbled, but he was covering his mouth as he did, hiding a smile that was stretching across his face at the thought. Matt only continued to laugh and kick, unable to make words escape his throat. Just as he thought the laughter might subside Mello was suddenly beside him, attacking him with tickles, and the laugher started all over again. _

Matt had to smile as the memory slipped through his mind, sliding the pen over the laminated paper of the magazine.

_**Mellow Yellow**_

**Question Four: Has anyone ever broken your heart?**

"God, what is this, the Oprah show?"Matt grumbled, clunking his head back against the wall behind him and willing his mind to remain blank. But the memories came all the same.

_It was a dreary Thursday afternoon, the kind of afternoon where it rains all day, both literally and in the hearts of the children. There had been a planned festival they were all to go to, a rare occasion as they were leaving the orphanage for the first time in months, but the weather had rained them out again. It was hitting Mello especially hard, and the blonde youth was curled under his blankets, complaining loudly to no one in particular. Matt was of course the only one listening, though, leaning on the wall and pretending to play Zelda; just pretending though - he was really only on the pause screen of the game, truly hanging on Mello's every word. He was ranting on and on about weather, which somehow (as always) turned to a rant about Near and how annoying he was, then to a rant about Roger and his incompetence, then a rant about L and how much Mello wished he'd come visit again. It was really all Matt ever heard out of him anymore._

_Half into the second hour of listening to Mello rant Matt finally put an end to it, snapping his head around and shouting, "MEL, CHILL OUT." The blonde blinked, sliding awkwardly off of the bed and onto his shoulders in surprise. He looked up at Matt with wide blue eyes. Matt didn't give him a chance to continue, snapping, "For Christ's sake, Mello, you've ranted for two fucking hours, can you please just cut it? You promised we'd hang out today!"_

_Mello stared in astonishment for a long moment before his expression hardened into a glare, propping himself back up to glare into Matt's eyes. It wasn't something Matt experienced often, and immediately went to pull the goggles back over his eyes, but Mello swatted his hand away, not allowing him that small comfort. "Matt, don't yell at me," he growled in a gravely voice, a voice he only used when he was in great frustration or was being dead serious. Right then, it was both, and it scared him._

"_Mello," Matt managed to get out in a serious tone, though his hands were shaking with fear and effort. "I don't mean to be mean or anything, I just…" Mello opened his mouth as Matt paused, clearly to screech at him, but Matt managed to yell out the last of it just before he could. "I JUST MISS YOU."_

"_Miss me? I'm right here," Mello growled, getting to his feet. Matt grappled for the correct words, scrambling to his feet to follow, but the blonde was already walking away. "Fuck you, Matt. Go die somewhere, I'm not in the mood for your bitching.""M-Mel?" Matt squeaked, in total shock as the door slammed shut. As the rickety frame of the door made it's final-sounding creak Matt dropped down to his knees again, his gaze wandering to the box sitting innocently underneath his box. Green eyes scanned the tag that he had so neatly and carefully written out. _**_Happy Birthday, Mello._**

_**Yes, Mello did.**_

Matt sighed but let out a little smile. It was okay, though, Mello had come back and apologized. Still, though… things weren't quite right after that. Matt never did give him his gift either, though it was probably for the best. Chocolates in a heart shaped box weren't exactly something you give to just a friend, right?

_But so why did I buy them?_

**Question Five: ****Do you love anyone? Who?**

"Well, shit," Matt muttered, rubbing his eyes with more irritation than sleepiness. As his eyes scanned his answers to the other questions, he realized: they all had the same answer. And who was he to break such a chain?

**I love Mello.**

Closing up the magazine and slipping it back where it had been placed before Matt got to his feet and wandered back into his room to wake his love, wishing as he did almost every day he understood what he felt, and wishing even more that the other would second his confusion. Muttering to himself, he wandered over to shake him awake, trying to shove those thoughts from his mind.

"Fucking girly magazines…"

* * *

**A/N: Wtf is this? This sucks badly. Please: forgiveness. XD I was thinking abot trying to update this every day, but I dunno if I'l lbe able to do it. XD if I do, a lot of them will suck…. xD like this one!**


	39. Pastries are Serious Business

"I don't see why we can't just shoot him," Mello grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring in the general direction of the stout brown haired man a few steps away.

Matt frowned. "Because if we shot him, he would be dead," he explained dubiously, glancing at the man before returning his gaze to the blonde beside him.

"That's the point!" Mello hissed under his breath, glaring at the empty container in front of him. Matt rolled his eyes.

"You can't just shoot someone because they took the last cresset roll," Matt reminded him irately, sliding his plate further down the buffet isle. "That would be _murder._"

Mello looked up suddenly at him as they slid down the buffet, eyes widening in that slightly-creepy way of his, a strange grin sliding across his face. "I _like _murder," he informed him cheerfully, huge eyes dancing manically.

Matt only rolled his eyes, not at all scared of the familiar blonde. This was a great contrast to the poor woman standing behind Matt in line, her face going pale at the sight of the blonde boy, even if he was only thirteen at the time, ducking her head to avoid looking again.

"Don't flip out, you can have _my _croissant roll," Matt told him irately, tossing said pastry onto Mello's plate. The blonde's expression only slid to a scowl, though, spinning around to glare at the man who had now sat down at a table a few paces away from them.

"I don't want your croissant roll, Matty, you love those things," he growled, narrowing his eyes. "It's not about that anymore, anyway - it's that stupid guy! Look how many croissant rolls he has!"

"Maybe he's just hungry," Matt tried to reason, though even to him twelve croissant rolls was a little much. Mello shook his head, scowling.

"Lies," Mello grumbled, glaring at the man as he sat his tray down on a table nearby, Matt slipping I beside him. "That guy must be, like, three hundred pounds, he doesn't need those stupid croissant rolls. In fact, he should probably be eating nothing but lettuce."

Matt laughed for a few moments before realizing that Mello was dead serious, glaring at the man. Matt frowned. "Mel, it's okay, just calm down and eat," he hissed, reaching out and grabbing Mello's hand in attempt to distract him. The blonde only swatted him away.

"No," Mello growled in a dark voice, eyes flickering as he paused, more for dramatic effect than anything else before looking back up at Matt, smiling a bit. "It's not okay. I am _going _to get a damn croissant roll if it's the last thing I do."

Matt's eyes widened in disbelief as Mello rocketed from his seat, slipping through the isle way. It took him a second to get up and hurry after the blonde, but by then it was too late. Mello swooped forward, dancing on one foot as he swiped four of the croissant rolls from the man's plate, a wild grin on his face. "Thanks, dude!" Mello announced, stolen croissant rolls in tow as he danced away through the hoard of other people.

Matt hurried after him, sneaking a glance at the man. He had a bewildered, wide eyed look on his face, mouth slightly agape in disbelief. You really couldn't blame him - it wasn't every day a random boy runs over and steals your croissant rolls, you know? At least, not that Matt was aware of.

After a second of hesitation the man stood up, shouting profanity and other such things at the two, along with 'GIVE ME BACK MY CRESSANT ROLLS, TRYANTS!' or something along those lines. Mello only chortled a laugh and bolted from the food court, Matt in tow, darting through masses of unbeknownst people.

"Was that really necessary?" Matt panted as he slid into the corner with Mello, obscured from view by a large wall used on the other side for depositing dishes jutting out from the wall. Mello only snickered, taking a loving bite of the pastry.

"Mmmhmmm… yes," Mello purred, ripping off a piece of it and chewing, a blissful look on his face. "Delicious." Matt could only roll his eyes.

"You're a maniac," Matt reminded him, but by his tone he wasn't actually angry, instead fighting back a laugh, placing his palm over his face in attempt to hide his grin. Mello caught it anyway though, fluttering his eyelashes in a feign of innocence that clearly wasn't actually present, a coy smile on his face.

"But I'm _your _maniac, right Matty?" Mello purred, peering up at him.

Matt only rolled his eyes. "Just eat your damn croissant roll."

**A/N: Yeahh... to say that this was random would be an under-statement… but don't you just HATE IT when some dude takes like FIFTY of something and nobody else can have any in those food courts! It's so infuriating! This was also partially inspired by **_**Llamas With Hats 2, **_**which if you've seen you might understand. XD Anyways, I could just see Mello doing this, end of explanation. XD Also… crescent rolls are fucking delicious. So yeah.**


	40. Napkin

**A/N: Alright, kiddies, two things. First, an apology: I'm so sorry heartburn hasn't been updated D: I've been really busy, and lemon's are just hard to write in general for me. : / I shouldn't have ever promised one of those… XD fail. **

**Second: Yes, this was written on a napkin originally IRL, if you were wondering. XD**

"Uh, Mell? What are you doing?" Matt inquired from the drivers seat, peeking at said blonde.

"Writing on a napkin, what does it look like?" Mello growled back, looking up from where he'd been scribbling something down on a Wendy's napkin to glare at his friend. Matt laughed, bemused.

"Yeah, no kidding. But WHY?" he laughed curiously.

Mello rolled his eyes. "Because, words for the BB book came t me, and if I don't write it down, I'll forget them. Duh."

"Seriously?" Matt chuckled, disbelieving. Mello shot him a glare.

"Yes, _seriously. _My memory is mostly action-based, so if I'm not doing something for it when it comes to me, I'll forget," he explained irately. Hadn't he explained this to him before this? Perhaps not…

Matt only continued to laugh, causing Mello's eyes to narrow. "Shut up, Jeevas. Not everyone can have your perfect memory."

"Jealous?" Matt teased, taking a sip of his coke. Mello scowled.

"No!" he lied angrily, snatching the coke from his friend's hand. Still fuming, Mello took a swig of the drink, so hastily that a good amount of it escaped his lips to dribble down his chin. Matt watched this with great interest in his peripheral vision, grinning as Mello cursed under his breath and shoved the can roughly into the cup-holder. His grin only grew as Mello snatched a napkin off of his lap, rubbing it over his mouth to rid himself of the liquid. Matt laughed out loud.

"What are you getting all giggly about, Matt?" Mello snarled, crumpling the napkin in his hand in a mini-fit of rage. Matt could only continue to laugh until Mello finally looked down at the napkin, eyes widening. "Shit! No!" he cried, uncrumpling the napkin to reveal the smeared ink there that once held words already slipped from his mind. Of course, Matt just kept laughing.

**A/N: Yes. XD I wrote this in the car on the way back from my foot-doctor appointment. :P apparently my feet are really messed up, isn't that lovely? I need orthodics T3T at least this gives me an excuse to get some new converse….XD**


	41. Coming Home

**A/N: With this comes attached a warning. I'm going to be gone for a week after today, because I'm going on a lake trip with my family. It's going to be a lot of fun, but there's almost definitely no internets there. So no updates for you. But I've updated Heartburn twice AND I have this stupid one-shot piece of shit up, so you can't complain. L8r, sukkas!**

Coming home was always something Matt enjoyed very much. He didn't do it often, since he didn't leave the apartment on a regular basis, but when he did, it was nearly always enjoyable. Not just because he was excited to see his roommate - he was - but because said roommate was a crazy bastard who was easily bored. And because of this particular trait, Mello always seemed to come up with the craziest ideas and set to work on them whilst Matt was away and not around to tell him how crazy the idea was until it was much too late. Usually, it was humorous. Occasionally, it led to either an argument or sex. Either way, Matt was always thoroughly entertained.

So when Matt found it was time to leave the video game store (he'd been there for about an hour, trying to decide what game to choose) he hurried home. What he expected to find, he wasn't sure now.

Certainly not this.

"Um, Mello… what the hell are you wearing?" Matt inquired from the doorway, raising an eyebrow.

Mello stopped his get-on-the-leather-pants dance (which consisted of jumping up and down on one foot and tugging it onto the lifted leg whilst trying to keep his balance, then repeating with the other side, then jumping up and down to pull it over his skinny butt) to turn to Matt, a slight blush dusting over his cheeks. "Oh, hi," he greeted blankly, not answering the question.

Matt frowned and raked his eyes over Matt's body, lingering on his nether regions. "Are those… rainbow pants?" he asked, bewildered.

"_Leather _rainbow pants," Mello corrected haughtily, as if this made the accusation less prodding. It was all the redhead could do not to bark out a laugh at the words.

"Um… _why?" _he questioned. Before Mello could reply, though, his eyes zeroed in on Mello's hair, eyes widening largely behind the goggles. "Is that… _hair dye?"_

"It's not permanent…" Mello muttered, putting his hands over his head, as it this would hide the various colors that streaked his golden strands. Matt gaped bewilderedly, disbelieving. Black trench coat-looking jacket, white _tank top, _the hair dye, rainbow pants, the ear piercing Mello had gotten on a whim when he was thirteen actually being used for black studs, dusty mint-green eye shadow… the only thing that remained from Mello's usual getup was the rosary that was slung around his neck. Matt was bewildered.

That is, until his eyes fell on the book laying flat on the ground, cover up. Matt smirked and picked it up, ignoring Mello's squeak of protest.

"City of Glass by Cassandra Clare, huh?" Matt inquired bemusedly, shaking his head with a grin of realization. "Magnus Bane? Seriously?"

Mello snatched the book away, hugging it to his chest with a glare. "Yes, _seriously. _It's… it's a good book."

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Well, you look…" he trialed off with a laugh. "More gay than usual, if that's even possible."

Mello scoffed, looking offended for a moment. Then suddenly a smirk played across his face, plopping the book on the couch and propping his hands on his hips. "You say that, but you keep ogling me."

"That's because it's shocking."

"No, it's because I'm still sexy and you know it."

A pause. Then Matt laughed. "Well, I never denied _that._"

Mello laughed too, the ice broken, and tossed his newly-gayed-up self onto the chair. "So… you'll never mention this to anyone ever again?"Matt nodded, sitting on the couch. Mello watched half-curiously as he dug through his pockets, only to yelp as Matt suddenly w hipped out a camera phone and snapped a picture of him, yelling, "NO PROMISES!"

"SHIT, MATT, DELETE THAT! DELETE THAT _NOW_!" Mello cried, rocketing after him. But Matt was already running away, giggling and gleefully sending the message to Near and Halle as he did.

Oh how he loved coming home…

**A/N: Okay, well, you won't get this at all unless you've read the Mortal Instruments Series. Which you should, because it's amazing. 3 I don't own MIS or Magnus Bane, nor do I own Death Note. Just saying. Kkthnxbai.**


	42. Out In The Open

"Mello? Mello, are you awake?"

Mello groaned, flipping over in his bed and burying his face in the pillow. "Mmnn... five more minutes, Matt."

"It isn't Matt," a monotonous voice replied semi-poutily.

At this, Mello's eyes popped open, and he immediately flipped around in his bed, flying out of his covers as he did so with wild eyes, immediately suspecting something horrible had happened when he was drunk or something else life-ending. But no, Matt was still snoozing beside him under his blankets (he was a deep sleeper) and Near - the owner of the voice, Mello presumed - was staring at him with wide eyes, for once extremely expressive in his face.

Mello groaned and rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you want, Near?"

Near continued staring. "Um... uh well... it was about..." was all he managed to get out before he turned tails and bolted out of there, leaving Mello completely bewildered and watching the empty space where he was. Mello was shocked by this outcome - did Near just _run? _He could only barely remember him ever _walking, _much less sprinting at top speed.

"Weird little fucker..." Mello muttered, slipping back into his blankets and cuddling in beside Matt again before slipping back into sleep.

xXxXxXx

"Melly Melly Mello Mel... Mells Mell Melly Mel-Mel Melloooo...~"

Said boy's eyes slowly fluttered open at the sound of the sing song voice repeating his name over and over. His eyes opened to find a firmiliar red-head sitting up leaning on the bedpost, singing blisfully to himself, again just Mello's name over and over again. Mello couldn't help but find it charming, a loving smile crossing without consent over his face.

Matt blinked and looked down at Mello as the blonde shifted and sat up. Immediately a warm, loving expression crossed his face, warmth settling in on his exposed emerald green eyes. "Ah... G'morning, my love."

Mello blushed at the way he was greeted but didn't protest, snuggling closer to Matt. "Good morning..." he yawned, stretching a bit and sighing. "Dude... what happened last night? I feel hungover."

At this, Matt giggled, ruffling Mello's hair. "Don't you remember?" he inquired. Mello shook his head. "You drank too much because Near made a low-blow about your parents or something. Anyway we were drinking and laughing and shit and you were suddenly like 'Matty, let's have sex now' really bluntly." Matt shrugged. "So we did."

"Wow. I'm a slut," Mello mused, highly amused by the scenario in his head. "By the way, have you ever seen Near run?"

Matt frowned, thinking it over. He couldn't think of a time that he had seen him walk, much less run. "No. Why?"

Mello laughed. "Dude, it was so weird. I don't know what the hell but he came in here to say something but when I sat up he had this mini freak-out and skedaddled. I don't know what the fuck but he ran like the dickens."

Matt stared at him for a long moment before bursting into laughter, shaking his head. Mello could only stare incredulously at him as he had a giggle fit for about two minates before he finally yelled, "Matt, what the hell?"

Matt managed to stop laughing, calming down most of the way, though he was still grinning uncontrollably. "It's probobly because you're naked."

Mello gasped and flipped around, kicking the covers off of him. Indeed he was stark naked, not a single article of clothing on of him (or Matt, for that matter, but he was under the blankets). Immediately Mello blushed red as a beet, pulling the blankets back over him. After a long time, he looked back up at Matt, still blushing. And for all of this time he took, he could only manage one word.

"Shit."

**A/N: XD poor Near... he just wanted to apologize... *shakes head* oh well.**


	43. WideEyed

**A/N: Well just so you know, the only reason these random shit stories and such (like Chatting for example) are popping up instead of updates on the multi-chaps is because I'm on vacation. Sorry. But my vacation is almost over (today is our last full day, we're leaving tomorow) so I'll update Heartburn and fix up and submit Atreyl and I's next chapter of IWFJ sometime around then. But just remember - I'm extremely busy around the end of the summer, but as soon as school gets back in it'll be back to me not having any life after school and writing durring study halls (and even maybe the rly boring classes XD) out of boredom. So the updates will more than likely be more frequent then. So anyway... ENJOY THIS MINI-SHIT ONESHOT THING XD**

Light watched in exasperation, staring at the raven-haired man he was chained to. As of current, said detective was leaping from couch to bed with an excited look in his dark eyes - "to test my aerodynamic ability" had been his excuse - forcing an exhausted Light to move back and forth to accommodate for the chain attaching them. It was growing difficult to do, almost having his arm pulled out of it's socket several times from being too slow for him. How could he not be too slow? It was almost four A.M. after all.

In the midst of Light grumbling to himself, L once again leapt from the couch to the bed, surprising poor Light and having him be jerked forwards, straight into the bedpost. Light then released a loud curse-word, causing L to giggle.

"Don't you EVER get tired?" Light screeched warily, throwing a few unmentoinable curse words in afterwards as he got to his feet.

L frowned at the unexpected question, quickly dropping to his usual crouched sitting/thinking position. Light frowned at him as his face grew thoughtful. It had been a rehtorical question... but Light wasn't about to correct him. This gave him time to lay back against the bed and relax his wounded body.

Finally, after a long, drawn out period of silence, L blinked, turning to light. He looked truly perplexed as he said, "No... no, Light-kun, I don't believe that I do."

Light frowned deeply. "Um... L, I'm not sure that's healthy... don't you-"

The man under question interrupted him, shaking his head. "Do not worry for my health, Light-kun. I do take short naps every once and a while. Not because I am sleepy, per say, but because sleep is simply more convenient than life at times." At this, Light's frown only deepened.

"L, I have been handcuffed to you for_ months _now, and I haven't _once _seen you sleep," he said irately. To this L frowned, which was really just the barest downturn of his lips, but on him it seemed to be a full-blown scowl.

"Yes you have, Light-kun," L said bluntly, tilting his head to the side inquisitively. Now he smiled, just barely, as he continued, "In fact, it is most always you who I sleep in front of. Usually when you are PMSing."

Light scowled, confused and offended. "I do not have perio-"

"Prissy Man Syndrome," L cut him off, a fond kind of memory appearing in his mind as he added silently, _just like Mello, right, Matt?_

Light, who had no idea about the memory nor the people involved in it, narrowed his eyes into angry slits, propping his arms irately onto his hips . He racked his brain for any memory of such an occurrence, but besides the occasional bored expression or lack of proper response, he had never noticed anything odd about the way L was when he ranted. He certainly never slept.

"You're such a freak..." Light grumbled defeatedly, inwardly figuring this way yet another one of L's silly mind games hat he played. L only continued to stare blankly at him as he turned away, muttering angrily to himself and grabbing for the nail filer under the coffee table - nothing Light could ever think of could relax him more than manicures - complaining under his breath about L, insomnia, and something about being out of potato chips.

When Light turned his attention away from him L smirked, a catty sort of expression and especially strange on him; he looked quite pleased with himself. This was because, of course, Light would never know that L slept through almost endless-bitching moment of Light and L's relationship together.

Because L slept with his eyes open.


	44. Pour a Little Sugar On It, Honey!

**A/N: what is this I don't even… XD**

Light just wanted sleep. This was, in essence, usually what he wanted most of all now a days. More, even, than his extreme want to get rid of Misa, or impress his father, or retain his perfect image, or have sex with L, or-

Wait a second… that wasn't… forget you heard that.

Well, speaking of L, the raven-haired detective was currently fiddling with something on his side of the bed while Light struggled to fall asleep on his. Neither of them had slept in about three days now - L because he had insomnia, and Light because L had insomnia and never failed to keep him awake. It wasn't so much that L was _trying _to keep him awake (at least, that's what L told him) but more that Light couldn't stand knowing that the detective was awake while he wasn't, and the insistent urge to turn around and watch him never failed to keep him wake even when L's shuffling didn't.

Of course, on the second night he'd counted up they had been too busy having sex in the supply closet all night to have any thoughts of _sleeping, _but…

Forget you heard that, too.

The brunette sighed and closed his eyes again, trying to drift off to sleep. He almost succeeded too, slowly sinking into that feather-edge between sleep and wake…

But alas, this was not to be, and suddenly Light was roused by a prodding on his shoulder. Light sighed deeply and twisted around… to find a L straight in front of his face.

Light had to choke back a scream, L's face so unexpectedly close that their noses almost brushed. He did no screaming, though, instead going pale and staring at the curious-looking detective staring into his eyes.

"Um, L?" Light asked unhappily. "Excuse my language, but… what the fuck?"

L smiled strangely at him. It was one of those smiles that Light most certainly didn't trust. He knew L too much for that. "You know, as L, I have many talents," he told him.

Light sighed, exasperated. "Yes, I'm sure you do. Now get away from my face."

L did no such thing, staying the exact same distance from his face. "But as well as detective work and consuming sweets, I can also do other things rather well."Light scooted away slowly, only to have L inch closer, a certain look in L's eyes that told him to just cooperate if he wanted to get away without an hour-long stare down. The brunette sighed and, if only to get L to go away, he muttered, "Gee, L, what else can you do? I would _love _to see." His voice was so thick with sarcasm that only a child younger than around 4 wouldn't be put out by the tone.

The smartest detective in the world was not put out by the tone, and immediately brightened (or at least, brightened as much as L could) and immediately pulled Light from the bed, a strange childish excitement causing him to bounce excitedly as he did. Light felt that, if this had been an anime, a sweat drop would run down his face. L never acted this way around other people - why _him?_

L spun around and grinned at him, grabbing Light's hands with childish excitement bright in his eyes. For a moment, Light almost expected L to ask him to run away with him and skip through a magical field of flowers and maybe adopt Misa and have a lovely gay marriage in France and maybe get a dog named Leon (why that thought occurred to him he really wouldn't ever know). Somehow, that would have actually been less surprising than what L did next.

Kicking the 'on' button on a random mini-radio he had brought into the room without Light noticing, L promptly burst into song.

"_Sugar, ah honey honey!"_

_Oh you are shitting me, _Light inwardly cried, a stunned expression on his face as the familiar 1969 song started to blare. _Tell me he's shitting me._

"_You are my candy girl! And you've got me wanting you…Honey, ah sugar sugarYou are my candy girlAnd you've got me wanting you!"_

L was not shitting him. He was indeed singing.

"_I just can't believe the loveliness of loving youI just can't believe the one to love this feeling sugar, ah honey honey You are my candy girlAnd you've got me wanting you!"_

Light was kind of surprised to find that L wasn't a horrible singer, either. I mean, obviously he wasn't exactly the best, either, but he was better than Light (and Misa). His dancing, though, was something to be improved on.

"_Ah honey, ah sugar sugarYou are my candy girlAnd you've got me wanting you!"_

"L, this is getting creepy," Light informed the detective doubtfully as the isnomatic forced Light into a girly little dance-spin. L ignored him in favor of singing along.

"_When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could beLike the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me!"_

"Wait… GIRL?" Light cried, trying to jerk away from Light, but was ignored again, instead getting twirled around again with a wild, amused look in L's eyes as he sang.

"_Sugar, pour a little sugar on it honey,Pour a little sugar on it babyI'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah"_

L wasted no time throwing Light around as they danced, nearly causing Light to squeak and squeal in surprise like a little girl several times. The brunette was becoming quite entranced by the strangeness of the scene. _Was this a dream? _

_A nightmare?_

But then, if it were a dream, it would involve sparkles and rainbows (don't judge, damn you), and if it were a nightmare, it would involve either Misa being naked or L being dead. None of which were involved now.

Only dancing. And L singing.

Creepy.

"_Pour a little sugar on it oh yeahPour a little sugar on it honey,Pour a little sugar on it baby"_

Light, deciding it best to just wait out the song, allowed L to spin and dance him around while he sang despite his sleepiness at the moment. Secretly, he almost enjoyed it, if only for the childish joy in L's eyes… and that way the detective kept wiggling his hips. _Sexy._

Err… if Misa asks, he never said that.

"_I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah!"Pour a little sugar on it honey,Ah sugar, ah honey honeyYou are my candy, girl!"_

"Is this song implying something?" Light asked dryly as L flipped him over his arm; automatically the brunette kicked his leg up in the air as he did this, though he felt stupid as he did, especially when L nodded in response to his question.

"Pervert."

"_And you've got me wanting honey, honey, sugar sugar ..You are my candy girl…!"_

Light sighed with relief as the song trailed off and the last little twiddle of ending after the chorus rolled off. L stopped the dancing with a final, dizzying spin. When Light was facing him again, L was smiling that weird, untrustworthy smile again.

Still, Light slumped ignoring it as he flopped onto the bed. _"Finally _that's over…" he practically shrieked, though an uncontrollable bubble of laughter escaped afterwards.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Light-kun?" L inquired cheerfully, smirking at him from above.

Light blushed a little, eyeing him, but the look of hopefulness in L's eyes, however faked it might have been, was one he couldn't lie to. The brunette sighed. "Okay… maybe it was a little fun…" _and creepy, _he added silently.

He immediately regretted not just lying to his face when L grinned and grabbed his hand. "THEN LETS DO IT… AGAIN!"

"Nooo…" Light moaned, "Sweet bed… I need my sleeeeeppp…""Just one more time!" L insisted, kicking the radio on again. Lights complaints went ignored as the chorus started up again:_"Sugar, ah honey honey!"_

Light sighed and reluctantly danced along with him. It was going to be a long night.

**A/N: I head this song, thought of L. Then thought of him singing it. Promtply got creeped out, then wrote this. Yay. XD You can pretty much blame rainfire111 for this. XDDD  
**

**P.S. No shit, I do not own the song. Obviously. -_-' I was not even ALIVE in the 1969, much less singing. In a male's voice. So yeah.**


	45. Hey, L chan?

Light entered the room to start the workday, as usual, with L trailing behind (chains). And, as usual, Misa bounded over like an obedient puppy on crack. And heroin. And maybe too much caffeine. As not-per-usual, however, Light was limping a bit, and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

Misa watched with concern as the brunette flopped into his chair and let out an unhidden sigh of relief as he did; L was quick to sit beside him, seeming to have none of said conditions himself.

Not wanting to bother her love when he was in pain, Misa padded over to the detective. "L-chan?" she inquired in her rather shrill voice.

That voice drove L nuts… but he put on his usual blank expression and looked at her politely. "Yes, Miss Amanye, can I help you with something?"

Misa smiled widely in her usual idiotic fashion, as this was her generic expression. "Why is Light-kun so unwell today?" the blonde inquired unhappily, glancing at Light. Said Yagami was laying back in his chair with a half-dead look on his face, though he was fighting a bit of a smile as well.

L paused, considering. "Hnn… would you believe me if I told you he was stepped on by an elephant?" he inquired.

Misa frowned worriedly, blue eyes growing wide. "_Was he _stepped on by an elephant?" she cried, sounding genuinely horrified.

L's frown deepened, head tilting slightly to the side. "No, of course not. Where would an elephant even encounter Light?" he replied, a bit disbelievingly. Misa only stared. L sighed. "Do you really want to know?""Much as a worm wants a bird, yeah!" Misa replied chipperly, looking quite pleased with herself over the simile. L inwardly rolled his eyes, not bothering to correct her mistake.

"Well, it happens that the previous afternoon I was sodomizing Light-kun quite energetically and thus he was neither able to get much rest in the least nor walk all that significantly of this morn. As this is the case, he is in this condition," L informed her honestly, glancing at Light. Said brunette was asleep on the chair.

Misa only stared at him blankly, a lost grin on her face, and inquired, "What's Sodomy?"

L paused for a moment, biting his lip and watching Misa stare at him, her pigtails bobbing slightly at either side of her head. Honestly, he had no desire to tell her… so he only smiled and spun around in his chair, tossing a breezy suggestion over his shoulder.

"Ask Matsuda."

**A/N: Run Matsuda. _Run._**


	46. this is stupid

L narrowed his eyes just slightly, a confident little smirk brushing over his face. "Alright then," he challenged. "Shoot."

Light cracked his knuckles, amber eyes flickering. "Alright then, sir cocky," the brunette responded, narrowing his eyes right back. "What number exactly is Pi?"

L's eyes glazed over for a moment, going into an almost completely monotone voice as he recited, "3 . 1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540..." He showed no signs of stopping, so Light cut him off.

"Okay, okay. If a tree falls in a forest, but nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?"

"The question, Light-kun, is does it really fall at all," L replied blankly, tapping his lip with his thumb. The boy chained to him gave him a confused look, and he shrugged. "But yes, yes it does."

"How can you prove it?"

"Mythbusters did."

There was a pause, then, "MythBusters?"

"It is a good show."

Another pause. Then Light was back at it again.

"What's the speed of dark?"

"Dark has no speed, it is simply the absence of light," L retorted boredly.

"What sexuality is Near?"

L had to pause for a moment before replying, "Pansexual."

Light paused as well, scowling. "Attracted to pans?" When L only looked at him like 'light-you-retard' he dropped the subject and continued, "When will the world end?"

"The world won't end, we'll simply die off."

Light narrowed his eyes. "What am I thinking right now?"

L smiled. "Sex."

Light blushed. "What?"

"You just pictured me naked," L informed him smartly, turning and eating his cake once more. He added cleverly, "And probably, unrealistically, on bottom."

Light let out a sigh of defeat and laid against the couch, eyes rolling upwards to ook at the ceiling. "Cocky bastard… guess you win again."

L smiled. "Don't I always?"

"Not in everything," Light muttered.

L turned to him, a blank expression on his face. Then he said, "Well I already won in dominance and brains, what else is there?"

Light smiled. "My hair is neater... and I'm a teen. I orgasm every time."

L frowned and turned back to his cake, because Light had him there.

**A/N: This is stupid.**


	47. Adorkable

**A/N - You can blame Kairi Twilight Mist for this. Hope I spelled your name right, hun - you're freakin' great! XD Also, Mello is seme in this one... just... 'cuz.**

Mello was small.  
It wasn't something you noticed right away. The petite size of his body wasn't something all that major, it as largely becuase of his youth at the time, and his whale of a personality made up for it most of the time. He knew how to hide it relatively well - he just simply never got too cloes to someone who was taller than him (in the mafia, this was most people).  
Sometimes it was unavoidable, of course. It was when he approached very closely that people truly noticed his peteite size. He was not only a skinny stick of a boy, but he was rather short, so that when he wanted to glare into your eyes he would have to look _upwards._ Compared to the huge brawn of a body that Ross or the other high ranking mafia men were, he could have been a little girl. Many of the men found this highly amusing, and would quietly whisper about it, sometimes muttering "how's the air down there?" when they thought the blonde wasn't listening. They found it hillarious.  
At least, they did, until one day Mello decided to take a swing at them from said height, which also happened to be the perfect height to send a prompt uppercut to the groin of said person. This, needless to say, sent that taller-than-him man swprawling to his kneeds, clutching his crotch and wailing in pain. At which Mello simply stood over him, smirked, and purred, "You tell _me_ about the air, jackass."  
So that was that.  
Now, Mello wasn't the shortest person in the Mafia by any means, there were several hackers that were very short. Matt - who was about the same height - was one of said hackers. Of course, hackers could be as tiny as they want and nobody would ever care, but he got teased all the same. This was, of course, because he was always clinging to Mello and following him around like a puppy. He earned the nickname "Mello's Yorkie", which he was informed was a small dog after hearing the information. _Greeaatt._  
Mello had learned to ignore the teasing (they called him 'The Wild Child' for obvious reasons - he looked like a child, he was wild, and it rhymed) because he knew that no one would ever dare say it to his face, and at least he wasn't the one they called 'Ugly Fuck' behind his back. He was far too vain to ever be called that without kicking some major ass.  
Anyway, the point was, Matt did _not_ learn to accept the teasing, for multiple reasons. One was that he had always been under the false information that nobody ever made fun of Mello. Actually, he was quite sure at one point that he was the only one of the two that anyone in the mafia would ever call names, even behind said person's back. So when he heard them calling the blonde "Wild Child" and "The Tiny One" he was shocked.  
Oh and, apparently, pretty irritated.  
Now, granted, Matt didn't act on his irritation for quite a good amount of time. He let it brew and remained (pardon the word choice) mellowed out as usual. However, it was when the words "The Tiny Fags" started coming up far too frequently that Matt decided he'd had enough of it. The day he officially snapped was, and Mello could remember this well, a Tuesday. They were both sitting on the couch in the mafia room, whispering to one another about a current hack job Matt was working on, when the people behind them made _that_ very... special... comment. Whoever the man was he had to have been new here, because he said it very loudly despite the 'shut-the-fuck-up-Richard' motions the other men were making to him as he said it.  
Mello, being himself, tried his best to contain himself. He planned, of course, to beat the shit out of Richard later, but he didn't want to appear like a nut job in front of Ross, who was sitting nearby. The comment stung, though, especially that F word (he didn't care if people said Fuck, but Fag bothered him for obvious reasons) and he felt himself shrink away from Matt instinctively, a twitch in his eye.  
Matt, though Mello didn't notice him, clearly noticed Mello's reaction. His reaction was quite a bit more pronounced, though; his face had twisted into a deathly scowl, a look that he clearly didn't put on his face often, and his eyes flashed angrily behind his goggles. He caught Mello's attention only after he whipped himself into a standing position, adjusted his goggles angrily to fit over his eyes better (though really they just fell back into the same position). Mello watched, fascinated and almost awe-struck, as Matt spun around with quite the fire in his jerky movements and marched straight up to Richard.  
"DAMN IT RICHARD! WHAT THE FUCK?" someone behind Richard yells in irritation, but he goes ignored.  
Richard, who also happens to be 6'2, towering over Matt quite decently, peers down at the redhead with a bemused-and-amused look on his ugly face. It was clear by the look he was giving him and by the arrogance in his voice when he spoke that he didn't take Matt seriously. "What do you want, butt-fucker?"  
Behind Richard, someone face-palmed and muttered, "wrong insult, Richard..."  
Matt simply continued to glare straight into his eyes, clearly waiting for him to have some sort of reaction. It was already clear to Mello that Richard was a dumb-ass from sitting there - anyone who couldn't sense the anger emanating from his boyfriend clearly had no sense in his head.  
Richard had no sense in his head. "Huh? What are you going to do? Nerd me to death?" he inquired, clearly finding himself clever.  
And Matt, apparently, decided to do just that. Promptly, he shouted, loudly and without shame, "FALCON... PUUUUNNNCCCHHHHH!" and, true to his word, nailed Richard right in the crotch.  
This triggered three things. Foremost, Richard assumed the I-just-got-punched-really-hard-right-in-the-balls pose that everyone knew, clutching said organ and falling to his knees, moaning in pain. Second, the onlookers either burst into laughter or stared bewilderedly at the scene - _"Did he really just say 'Falcon Punch' in actual context?"_. Third, and most importantly (in Matt's opinion anyway) Mello let out a sigh and marched around the couch, grabbing Matt's arm and tugging him backwards.  
"Right when I thought you were being noble," Mello grumbled, an irritated-but-slightly-amused expression playing across his face.  
Matt seemed to disregard the comment, flailing uselessly against Mello's grasp whilst shaking his fist in defiance. "I didn't get to the Falcon Kick yet, dammit! _I have to do the falcon kick!_" he was hissing angrily. Across the room, Ross seemed to either hear or read the redhead's lips, because he chuckled.  
Mello sighed, grabbing Matt by his belt and dragging him out, not bothering to go around Richard and simply shoving him rather violently out of the way with the side of his boot. Behind him, the onlookers scattered to make room for the irritated blonde and his currently-being-pulled-along boyfriend. Understandably, nobody was all to wise on the idea of being the next to be punched in the crotch.  
Matt had finally stopped squirming by the time they got to the motorcycle they had come on, but he was still pouting when Mello shoved him towards it, glaring at him as he climbed reluctantly onto the back. When the blonde hopped on in front of him, he muttered, "I was just trying to..." Matt paused, thinking for a word. He finally decided on, "...make a statement."  
The blonde sighed in irritation, putting the keys in the ignition but not starting up the bike just yet, instead twisting his head around slowly to glower at the pouting redhead, eyes like liquid fire. "Yes, I know, Matt... but did you have to say 'Falcon Punch' like a giant nerd while you did it?"  
Matt seemed to consider this, face falling into a thoughtful expression. Just when Mello thought he had gotten through to the redhead, the boy smiled and chirped, "Yep!"  
Mello turned around and started the car, his only response before the roaring engine made talking impossible being a quip of, "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."  
Matt's wail of complaint was drowned out by the motorcycles screeching as the bike took off away from the warehouse.  
However, if there's anything Mello hated more than humiliation, it was either crime, being hurtful to Matt, and being sex deprived. Seeing as making the redhead sleep on the couch accomplished both of those things, it was needless to say that Mello was restless trying to sleep alone that night.  
So much was this restlessness that, at about 2 AM (after about 4 hours of staring at the ceiling imagining Matt shivering on the couch because there was no heating in the living room as well as picturing Matt jacking off in the bathroom because Mello couldn't satisfy him that night along with the knowledge that Mello wouldn't be able to do this for himself out of guilt) Mello found himself shooting out of bed and hurrying down the hall to their living room...  
Only to find the redhead not shivering and certainly not jacking off, instead hunched over himself on the chair and frantically playing Kirby on his DS. His tongue had protruded slightly from his mouth in concentration, the goggles shoved onto the top of his head clumsily, which messed up his already constantly-mussed red hair. His fingers flew over the buttons, and every once and a while he would utter a squeak of protest or a giggle of joy at some sort of victory. Before Mello could stop standing in the doorway, watching him in bewilderment (he was bewildered not just because Matt was still doing this at 2 AM, but because he found it adorable and he couldn't place why) Matt suddenly leaped up out of his chair...  
...And proceeded to break into the nerdiest possible victory dance, throwing the device onto the couch and leaping up and down, even kicking his legs up behind him as he did. Then, after some random flailing boogie in which he shook his hips like some sort of bad pole dancer he proceeded to burst into faux-Egyption-style dance moves, bobbing his head while he did this. This was finalized with him spinning around, conveniently to face the doorway and pumping his fist into the air with a victorious yell of "YEAH!"  
This air of victory and elated-ness ended almost immediately when he saw the blonde in the doorway, who was smirking at him with dull amusement in his sleepy blue eyes. Matt dropped his arms, a bit embarrassed. "Oh," he said blankly. "Hi."  
Mello's smirk stays etched on his face. "Well, I was here to tell you you could come to bed, but then I saw you with your dorky little victory dance and changed my mind," he informed him, sounding highly amused and slightly irked.  
Matt dilapidated at the news. He dreaded sleeping on that couch, for the obvious reasons that 1) he had abandonment issues, 2) sleeping with Mello was obviously better and 3) the living room was freezing. He was fully prepared for these reasons to pull out all the shots, pulling off his goggles and preparing to give puppy-eyes if necessary, whimpering, "Ahhww... what? Really?"  
The mafia-leader's smirk vanished, replaced with a dead serious expression, though his eyes still glimmered with mischief. "Yes, _really..._" Mello said slowly, almost thoughtfully. Before Matt could suffice to argue any more on the topic, though, the blonde immediately stalked forward and slid his arms around Matt's waist, tugging the redhead to eye-level with him so that their noses were nearly touching. So close that Matt felt Mello's breath on his lips as he whispered matter-of-factly, "Instead you are going to shut the fuck up and I'm going to pound your adorkable into next week, to the extent that you will not be able to walk in the morning. Any arguments?"  
Matt felt a fire of a blush burn on his cheeks, but he didn't hesitate, squeaking, "No arguments." And, true to his word, the redhead didn't make a single word of protest when Mello grabbed him by the wrist, yanked him into the bedroom, and proceeded to sodomize him plenty harshly.  
And, true to Mello's secret affection for Matt's nerdy ways, the blonde didn't complain when Matt muttered, "Dear Zelda you're amazing," by the end of it all.  
**Teh End~**


	48. Sight

**A/N: The oneshot that was placed here previously, _Sunshine,_ had several requests that it should be turned into it's own one-shot, separate of Much Ado's. So, if you want to find it, it's not here. XD here to replace it? this drabble i wrote in physical science. -facedesk- and o, nowai, it's LxL! oao  
**

I couldn't understand you.

It was a new thing for me, not understanding. I understood my classes, excelled even in the most advanced of the kind, comprehended even when no one even accepted. I understood when my classmates could read them as easily as I could a picture-book. I understood my sister and her generic, fangirl love for Hideki Ryuga and makeup, though I didn't share it. I understood my father even when he was discussing his work in strange vocabulary many couldn't comprehend, just as I understood my mother's chatter about reality TV shows I'd never watched and local gossip of people I'd never heard of. I even understood criminals, and why they do the things they do, no matter how nasty or inhumane. Always, I had been able to understand.

But not you.

You were strange and unexpected, a dead stop in my perfect flow of life. You were perhaps even more life-altering than the Death Note itself, though that may be going a bit far. Either way, you shocked me.

When I heard about "L" I was expecting someone... not you. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but if I had any expectations at all it certainly wasn't you. Not the strange, panda-eyed man with a creepy stare and wild hair that almost always fell across his pale face. I wasn't expecting a strangely intriguing man with a passion for sweets and an alleged liking to bondage. Not a man who let nothing phase him, who was both a lying bastard and a trustworthy saint all at once.

More than anything, I never expected to like you like I did.

You called me your first friend once, and while I don't really doubt this, you could almost say the same for me as well. You, too, were my first real friend. Sure, I had other people who were "friends" or at least in my little posse at school, but they didn't see _me._ Not really. They only saw who I let them see. They saw Light, top ace student. Light who was helpful to his sister. Light who was good at tennis. Light who dated countless girls with grace. Light who everyone loved. Light, Mr. Perfect.

Not you. You saw me, the me who was buried under the years of lies. You saw light the crazy, paranoid bastard. You saw Light the total Queen who spent hours doing his hair and fussing over his clothes. Light who loved salty things and hated lemon-cake. Light who had nightmares and spoke in his sleep. Light who woke in the middle of the night worrying over weather his sister got home alright. Light who truly wanted to be a detective. Light who hated rainy days but loved going out after the storm, secretly peeking around for that rainbow. Light who wanted the world to be better. You saw the Light who loved you.

You saw _me._

It was the death of you._  
_


	49. My Lovely Wife's Prompt

**Today I made the mistake of asking my fan fiction wife, Rain, for a prompt. The word? Asshat. **

**I am not even joking. **

**But because I couldn't think of anything to write that was serious… I decided to write this. 8D yay?**

Matt followed Mello everywhere.

He followed him to class, even when they didn't have the same class together - he would always walk him, even if it meant he would be late. Sometimes, he even waited outside Mello's class if he happened to have an especially easy class or physical-education that period. Mello used to care, but he had gotten used to it.

He followed him to the same dorm room. They weren't even suppose to room together - Matt had his own room down the hall - but Matt had stayed there anyway. Of course, Mello had never protested it, but it was still viewed as strange by many of the orphans and Roger.

He followed him outside when Mello went out to play soccer, even though everyone knew Matt hated the outdoors and would never in his life even set an eye on a soccer ball with the intention of doing anything more than picking it up and tossing it back to Mello. The most he ever did was sit around and be bored, watching Mello play, or occasionally lighting up a cigarette or playing a game.

He followed Mello to the bathroom. It was a habit that usually only girls participated in, but Matt did so loyally, and even held his own need to use the vicinities so that he could go when Mello had to (secretly, sometimes the blonde would pretend he had to go when Matt did, so that the redhead wouldn't burst). It was the strangest thing to many, but he didn't care - he did it anyway.

He followed Mello to lunch every day, and would sit beside him every day at that time as well as in any class he could manage it.

He followed Mello _everywhere. _If Mello was there, so was Matt, his constant little shadow. If Mello went jogging, Matt came along even if he hated exercise. If Mello wanted to go shopping, Matt was there too, toting all the bags. If Mello wanted to go to a chick flick movie or get a pedicure like a total queen, Matt would be right behind him no matter how painful it was. If Mello got sick, Matt would be there in the nurses office, waiting for him to get better. If Mello was well and Matt wasn't, the redhead would pretend to be well as long as possible, as not to be sent off to the sickbay without the blonde. If Mello wanted to join the mafia someday, Matt had no doubt he would follow (though he never fond this to be particularly likely until the blonde had left him). Everywhere Mello went, Matt came as well.

Matt himself was, of course, aware that he was as such, but he never considered it strange. Mello was his passion, the real one, so why not want to be acting on such passionate feelings as much as humanly possible? It made sense to _him,_ anyway.

He was doing just this one day (following Mello, that is), a day just like every other one. He had plopped himself onto a bench outside, trying his best to ignore the way the sun beat down on him uncomfortably as he watched the blonde run around and play soccer with a group of other kids. Kicking major ass as usual; Mello was by far not the biggest of the children, but he was quick and skilled and easily dodged through crowds of cildren dribbling the soccer ball at his feet, striking goal after goal over the poor, flustered goalie's head.

Matt was so immersed in watching the blonde that he almost didn't notice the brunette girl that sat down beside him. She had one of those 'hush hush' looks on her face, the kind that said that she wasn't really suppose to be talking to him (him being the giant nerd who stalked Mello) but was anyway. Matt looked over at her, bluntly snapping, "Whatta' you want, Linda?"

Linda scoffed, clearly offended by the gruff, blunt tone at which Matt addressed her. Her, and everyone else who wasn't Mello, assuming he ever answered at all. Still, she plastered a smile on her face as usual, flipping her hair over her shoulder. A girl on a mission, that's what she considered herself at that moment. (In response, Matt found her to be an annoyance, but she couldn't know that).

"I was wondering," she began slowly, pausing for a second as if for dramatic effect. When Matt only gave her a dry look, she continued a bit more blatantly, "I need a Technology tutor." She said this as if she had just offered him a million dollars, an offer he absolutely could not refuse, as if this would be unimaginable. For most guys, this almost would be - Linda was the girl to catch, if you get the meaning.

Not Matt - he only gave her a dry look, one that lasted for a long, drawn out 10 seconds, waiting for her to elaborate in some way. When she didn't and only continued to give him that gushy look, Matt turned away abruptly to continue watching Mello play _(bitch made me miss him scoring another goal, god damn it!) _and saying just as bluntly, "No."

Linda gasped melodramatically, blinking in rapid procession. "W-what? Why?" she squeaked, genuinely surprised by the refusal.

Matt didn't even glance at her. "Too busy.""All week?" Linda cried, clearly disbelieving. She quickly added, "I'm a quick learner", even though this was a lie. She was horrible with computers.

Matt rolled his eyes, still not looking at her; his eyes were trained on Mello's every move. "On Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday Mello has soccer games. Tuesday, as you know, is test day. Thursday is when the rankings are posted, and I have to be home for the pity-party that comes after that every night. Friday is the day we get off early, and we always go into town, so I can't do it then. Then Sunday is…" he paused, not quite wanting to reveal to Linda (or anyone) that this was the day that Mello insisted on watching chick flicks or Johnny Depp movies with him, so instead he finished with, "…church."

Linda stared at him, bewildered. "But that's… that's mostly Mello's stuff. You can't just-""No," Matt snapped, then cursed under his breath as he witnessed Mello get tripped (purposefully, he felt sure) and fall on his face. This anger was short lived, though, since the blonde immediately jumped up and socked the guy who tripped him right in the nose. _That's my Mello, _the redhead thought lovingly, watching said boy proceed to nail other-boy in the crotch and waltz away to get dressed.

Linda had "cleverly" followed Matt's train of sight to Mello as he walked away, raising her eyebrows. _So that's why he's out here. Of course. _she thought belatedly. Slowly, after a long, bloated period of processing this information, she stated, "Matt, has anyone ever told you you're an asshat?"Matt blinked, attention finally gained, and turned to her with surprised eyes. "Eh?"

Linda smirked, glad to have his attention. "It's true. You're Mello's asshat," she replied, then happily told him her definition with a certain class she felt only she could accomplish. "Not even a normal asshat, because it's not your own ass your head is up, it's his. You're always _right there, _I mean, you suck up to him so much your head might as well be up his ass. Therefore, he's your asshat."

Matt paused, thinking this metaphor and/or insult over. After taking a long time of thinking with a very sophisticated, thoughtful look on his face, he smiled at her, a bright and kind smile that took her aback. Then he said, "It's not just my head that's up his ass, smart-aleck."

Linda, for the first time in a long time, stayed silent as Matt waltzed away. So much for a tutor.

**A/N: ….what the hell is this?**


	50. 100

**A/N: I found this buried this deep within my files. XD I have no freakin' clue why on earth I would ever write something so cheesy and cliche, but i did... so i figured i'd post it XD**

Mello isn't a sappy person. Actually, he was pretty much the farthest from sappy in the entire world. He also wasn't clingy. In fact, he was just fine marching off and not seeing me for years when the time came, and would leave me again if I told him I didn't need him anymore. That, of course, would never happen, because I was sappy and I was clingy. It was me who worried all the time about not being good enough, it was me that wondered if he loved me as much as much as I loved him - which he did, he just didn't show it as much as I did, because I was the sap, not him.

So I was surprised when the topic came up. We were just sitting around in the living room like usual, him splayed out on the couch with some book in his hands, me crouched on the floor playing my millionth round of Halo, when he spoke up.

"Hey Matty, why is it that you love me?"

I blinked, pausing my game immediately. For as second, I thought I had heard him wrong as I peeked over at him, but the expectant look in his blue gaze told me otherwise. He was laid back on the ugly yellow couch, blonde hair a halo around his head as he twisted his head to look at me, the book he had been previously engaged in laid sitting open on his stomach.

I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked uncertainly, putting down my controller and turning so that I could look up at him better. There was a sober look on his face, the kind of expression that told me he had been thinking about this for longer than I thought.

"I mean exactly what I said, Matt," he replied bluntly. "Why do you love me? I don't deserve it. I'm mean to you, and I'm hardly ever romantic." Before I could speak up again, his hand moves to the scarred part of his face, blue eyes shining with unhappiness. "I'm not even attractive anymore."

I scowl at him. "That's untrue," I scolded, getting to my feet and scrambling over to him. "Where is this coming from?"

Mello sighed, his eyes closing to block my view of his sapphire eyes as he shrugged his shoulders. He didn't move away when I laid my hand on his cheek, the burned skin there feeling rough on my palm compared to the softness of the other. It didn't appall me like it might some people - it was just proof that he was human.

"I don't know," he muttered, curling uncomfortably around. I took this as invitation to sit down beside him, running my fingers through his hair. "I just…" he sighed, pausing for a moment before continuing, "I've just been thinking about it. I realized today that I really didn't know."

"Ah, Mello…" I breathed, feeling a smile come to my lips despite his sadness. I couldn't help but feel relieved that the blonde even thought about things like this, that he even cared enough to worry. But past the relief I was unnerved that he was thinking this way. Gently as I could I dipped my arm around his shoulders, pulling him upwards into an embrace. He tensed up for a moment at the affectionate gesture, but thankfully he relaxed, nuzzling his face into my shoulder. A wistful kind of feeling came over me at this - it was rare that he allowed himself to show signs of weakness this way.

"Don't be silly, Mells," I whispered, hugging him tighter. "I could think of a hundred reasons why I love you."

Mello shivered a little, pulling away to look up at me, his sapphire blue eyes quizzical. "Really?" he asked, his voice actually disbelieving. I frown at him, nodding that I could. "Yeah right," he muttered, shaking his head and laying his forehead back on my shoulder, "You're a sap, but even you couldn't think up that many lovable things about me."

"Sure I could," I told him, chuckling at his out of characteristically low-self-esteem-attitude. He scoffed but didn't reply, going limp in my arms as if he were planning on falling asleep there. Maybe he was.

Sighing I laid back against the couch cushions, listening to Mello breathe as I delved into my own thoughts. I hated it when he acted like this, or sad in any way. He was usually so lively and sure of himself, so bright and fiery. It seemed impossible that he could actually feel this way, but it seemed that this was the case.

I smiled, closing my eyes and letting my own eyes fall shut, letting myself listen to his breathing and breathe in time with him. We sat like this for a long time, simply soaking in the strange peacefulness of the moment.

"I love you, you know," Mello murmured after a while, his voice almost inaudible even in the silence. "Even if we really can't think of a hundred reasons why."

I smile, brushing my hand through his hair and earning a happy little sigh from the blonde. "I know," I whispered. "I love you, too. Even though I could."

"Yeah," he murmured, and when I looked down at him his eyes had lazily closed shut, relaxed completely against me. "Right…" Before I could start up a debate on the topic his smile slipped away, replaced by an expression of peacefulness as his breathing evened out, slipping into a slumber.

The smile couldn't be banished from my face as I watched him sleep for a few minutes. Then, as gently as possible, I lifted him into my arms, carrying him into the bedroom to sleep. He was extremely lightweight; despite being about an inch taller than me, he was still a lot smaller, curling much like a kitten in my arms. I wasn't afraid of waking him up, though - he was like a rock when he slept, and it was near impossible to wake him. Sometimes, I wondered how he always shot up from his sleep immediately when there was even the slightest sign of imminent danger, and yet could sleep through a crazy rave party no problem.

Chuckling at the thought I laid him back on the bed, pulling the comforter over his sleeping form. He mewled a little in his sleep, something so innocent sounding that it seemed out of place on someone like Mello, and I was tempted to just crawl into bed beside him.

But instead I slipped away, hand grazing the unmarred side of his face before slipping away, retreating into the living room again. I had work to do.

* * *

**100 reasons why I love you:**

**1. You're brilliant**

**2. You're beautiful**

**3. You never give up**

**4. You're crazy temperamental**

**5. You're a maniac**

**6. Your cute chocolate addiction**

**7. You never forget my birthday, even though you forget Christmas.**

**8. You catwalk better than Tyra Banks**

**9. You're afraid of things, but you do them anyway (weather that makes you brave or stupid is still up for debate :) )  
**

**10. I'm the one you go to at night when you have nightmares**

**11. You're the bravest person I know**

**12. You don't care what other people think**

**13. Nothing people do can truly break you**

**14. Your love is unconditional, though not always flaunted**

**15. The way you have no dancing skills but always dance with me anyways**

**16. How every rule you make has an exception**

**17. Your laugh, which is really more like a giggle**

**18. Your endless blue eyes**

**19. Your badassness**

**20. Your heartbreaker smile**

**21. Your resilient attitude**

**22. Your stubbornness**

**23. The way you always find a way to cause trouble, no matter the place.**

**24. That you always find time for me**

**25. How you never give up**

**26. The badass hard exterior**

**27. The hidden softie behind the hard exterior**

**28. That scar of yours, even if you don't like it much**

**29. Your motorcycle, and the way your hair whips around when you ride it.  
**

**30. The way you look when you sleep**

**31. The way you snore, but only when you're prissy**

**32. Your man PMS, which is tiring and annoying, but in retrospect is freakin hilarious**

**33. How you're brave enough to cry when it's time to  
**

**34. You're afraid of lightning storms (which is freakin' adorable)**

**35. You'd never cheat on me despite your almost constant horny-ness  
**

**36. You sing like Madonna (hehe)  
**

**37. You're bold enough to stand up for what you believe**

**38. You never stop trying, even if the goal is impossible**

**39. You call me "Adorkable" (sorry, but I love that XD)  
**

**40. You'll pretend like you understand when I rant about Resident Evil, even if I know you don't.**

**41. Even though you do so many evil things, you do it all for the sake of the good.**

**42. You can blow up half your face and still be vain enough to spend hours doing your hair**

**43. You let me paint your nails when I'm bored**

**44. You know how to make me have fun at parties, even though I don't like people much**

**45. We can have sex, be romantic, be in love, and still be best friends**

**46. You're the only one who never bores me**

**47. You make a badass princess peach (you know it's true)**

**48. How you talk in your sleep (you do)**

**49. How a random girl can show up naked in your shower and it doesn't faze you (sexually or otherwise)**

**50. Your cockiness**

**51. The ego the size of Texas you happen to be in posessesion of, even if it's frustrating sometimes**

**52. How you care about a woman's modesty, even if you hate them**

**53. When you walk around naked and pretend not to notice when I stare**

**54. The ladies undies you wear (if you're wearing underwear at all)**

**55. How you can always come up with a witty comeback**

**56. You're comically girly scream**

**57. How you can somehow flirt with everyone and still let me know that I'm the only one that matters**

**58. Your temper tantrums, which are actually quite funny when you're not throwing things in _my _direction**

**59. How you single handedly make second place look all the more awesome**

**60. How even behind your giant egotistical attitude, you're a little self-conscious**

**61. The way you can act like you hate someone with all your might, but still not be able to bring yourself to shoot them when the time comes.**

**62. Your obsession with L (it makes me jealous, but it's cute)**

**63. Your girly-scented shampoo**

**64. The way you always play your music way too loud**

**65. How you care enough to nag about my smoking…**

**66. …but never force me to quit, because you know I can't help it…**

**67. …and still kiss me despite the way you say you hate the taste.**

**68. The way every kiss we share feels special and thrilling, even if we've kissed a million times before**

**69. How you'll let me top most of the time, even if you could seme if you wanted to.**

**70. Your cute German accent that comes out when you're getting emotional**

**71. How it always makes my heart skip a beat when you say my real name…**

**72. …and how I can tell it makes you're heart skip, too, when I say yours.**

**73. How "I love you" never loses it's meaning with us**

**74. Your crazy "maniac laugh" when you're in that kind of mood**

**75. How you're a little bit insane**

**76. The way you never run out of plaaces or ways you want to "do it" in, no matter how ridiculous**

**77. How you act so tough all the time, then turn around and cry during Marley and Me**

**78. Your secret John Mayer songs fetish**

**79. How you cuddle at night, then pretend like it was unintentional, even if I know you were awake the entire time.**

**80. You're up for any challenge thrown your way**

**81. You're competitive, in contrast with my 'whatever' attitude**

**82. How you always somehow convince me to do things I don't want to**

**83. How you're still a little childish inside**

**84. How you still want to go trick or treating on Halloween**

**85. The way you always say you hate Valentines day, but still get excited when I give you a gift every year**

**86. How, on the first day we met, I knew you were something special**

**87. How you always insist that I take off my goggles so you can see my eyes**

**88. That you care enough to call when you're going to be a while getting home, so I know you're not dead**

**89. How you still kiss me goodnight when you're planning on staying up too late working**

**90. How you put up with my weird habits**

**91. That you act like a kitten sometimes**

**92. You're my fallen angel**

**93. You're over-posessive of me, and I love that**

**94. You understand me when no one else does**

**95. You're feminine and yet somehow manly, all at the same time**

**96. You're spontaneous - you never cease to surprise me, even if I've known you forever**

**97. You know me more than I know myself**

**98. We could never have sex, never touch each other sensually, never even kiss - just being in the same room with you and knowing you care would be enough.**

**99. You love me as much as I love you**

**100. And Mello, my love, I could list a hundred more.**

"Wow. You really did it," Mello whispered, failing to sound uncaring when he was clutching the handwritten piece of notebook paper in his hand, a blush spread across his face. There was a glossy look in his saphire blue eyes as his eyes scanned the paper, taking in each reason again and again, looking disbelieving and amazed.

I had to smile. It wasn't often that Mello looked so touched, and it made me feel good that I had been the reason for it. "I told you I could," I replied gently, reaching out to brush his hair from his eyes.

A grin spreads across his face, peeking up at me with a shy kind of expression on his face, another rarity for the mafia boss. "Wow," he teased. "You're cheesier than I thought."

"You know it," I replied easily, throwing my arm around his shoulders. He rolled his eyes, the touched look on his face gone, and shrugged my arm aaway as usual.

"Weirdo," he muttered, blushing furiously. "Get back to work." And then he stormed away, blushing like a mad man and still wiggling his hips like Tyra Banks as he walked.

I smiled anyway, watching as he escaped and, when he thought I wasn't looking, carefully fold the piece of paper and shove it into his pocket before darting into his room.

"There's another reason. He's so easily embarrassed," I murmered wistfully, chuckling to myself as I strolled away, trying to keep the image of Mello's flustered expression clear in my mind for as long as possible.

**A/N: HORRAY FOR MORE POINTLESS CHEESINESS :'D WOOT**


	51. Whatever

"Matt. What the fuck are you doing?"

Matt looked up a bit guiltily from where he was curled up on the couch watching TV, pressing the pause button. "Watching… Glee?" Matt replied wanly, seeing no use in lying.

Mello scowled. "That weird musical show?"

"It's hilarious," Matt argued stiffly. "You know Kurt is adorable."

Mello opened his eyes, looking ready to argue, but realized he had no argument against the adorable Glee-club gay-kid's cuteness. So instead he only huffed, "Shouldn't you be doing something… productive…?"

Matt stared at him for a long time, seeming to think this over. Then he smiled and chirped, "Yeah, probably."

Mello rolled his eyes as his roommate turned and hit the 'play' button and continuing to watch with a lazy look on his face. "Whatever."

**A/N: Story of my life. So anyway, I'm curious: any other Gleeks around?**


	52. Ears

"Matt. Matt. _Matt._"

Said mentioned boy, whose name was being repeated in an irritated monotone from across the room, made no response to the call. Instead he only stared at the book in his hands; he didn't appear to even be reading it, really, but how could you tell thanks to those chunky goggles he wore?

Huffing angrily Mello tossed his coat onto the chair and dropped his duffle bag to the floor before strutting across the room and shouting, "_Matt!_ I'm gone for three weeks and you start ignoring me? What the hell?"

To Mello's utter disbelief Matt showed no sign that he had heard him, instead simply turning the page of his book in a rather lazy fashion. Mello huffed, cheeks burning with anger and slight humiliation at being ignored.

"Dammit, Matt, it's not _my _fault you weren't allowed to go on the damn trip!" Mello snapped, pulling off his boot in a fit of anger and, in a split second decision fueled by rage, chucked it violently towards the redhead, glaring after it as it connected with the side of the other boy's head.

Mello continued death-glaring at him as he yelped in shock and pain, but it was hard not to smile when the ever-durable boy leapt to his feet, spinning around in a whirl and automatically shifting into an exaggerated ninja-pose and an attempt at a threatening glare on his face.

Mello's bewilderment grew as Matt's glower suddenly vanished upon seeing Mello there, melting off his face to make room for a bright-eyed, excited glow of a grin, as if he were just realizing Mello had returned. The blonde's glare was replaced by a disbelieving stare as Matt rocketed across the room, tackling Mello into a bear-hug and practically shrieked, "Mello! You're back! _I missed you!_"

"Matt, you're so freaking _loud,_ what the hell?" the still-irritated Mello cried, shoving with grand effort out of Matt's death-grip. Matt gave Mello a hurt look as he scuttled back a few steps and gave him a glare.

After a moment, Matt's gaze went downcast. "Sorry, Mell," Matt said, still much louder than normal; his voice sounded strange, but not so much that Mello didn't secretly relish in the sound of it's familiar ring.

"Don't you know anything…?" Mello grumbled, rubbing his wrist in a pouting fashion. "Fucking bastard… hurt my ears _and _my hand why don't you…?" _And my feelings… _"Why'd you ignore me at first, huh?"

"What? What was that?" Matt inquired or, rather, shouted, clearly confused. Before Mello could either colorfully cuss him out and/or repeat himself Matt laughed rather bemusedly and explained, "Oh, sorry, Mells, did I not tell you in my e-mails?" By the blank look Mello gave him, he hadn't. "Well, this week Nix invited me to go to this band concert, and I guess I got too close to a speaker because it blared in my ear during this wicked guitar solo and now I can't hear _shit _these last couple of days."

Mello took this moment to stare at him, bewildered by this knowledge. Somehow, though, the only thing he managed to utter was, "You were on a date with _Nix?_" he inquired, louder this time as to let Matt hear him.

Matt rolled his eyes, hearing the jealous tone. "Naw, he's got a boyfriend," he laughed in his overly-loud voice, then winked at Mello as he added, "And so do I." Mello scoffed. "Anyway he just invited anyone who got ditched from the trip. Linda, Veil, and a few other people tagged along too."

"Ah. Sounds fun," Mello said blankly, jealousy leaking into his voice despite his efforts. He hadn't enjoyed himself much on the trip - it was interesting, sure, but during the downtime his only companion was that dinny Near, since by some horrid hell-sent variable they had been deemed roommates for the trip. "Wish I'd been there."

Matt clearly didn't hear him, smiling at him in a rather stupid (though adorable) fashion. Mello laughed, rolling his eyes. "So, you're really deaf in one ear, huh? Sucks for you," Mello practically shouted. Matt nodded.

"Yuperoo," he replied, plopping down on the couch with a sigh. "You could say anything you want in that ear and I wouldn't hear you at all. Major inconvenience really…"

Mello paused, staring at Matt for a moment before letting a broad, mischievous grin spread across his face, blue eyes dancing in a cheeky fashion. "Huh… _anything_?" Mello inquired slowly.

Matt eyed him suspiciously. "Yeahhh…" he replied carefully. "Anything… why…?"

Mello didn't reply directly, instead sliding onto the couch beside the other. Matt gave him a quizzical look as he scooted further and further forward, closer so that his face dipped towards the other's face, blonde hair falling to tickle Matt's neck.

Matt held his breath as Mello brushed red hair away from his ear. With a small, sly smile Mello leaned even closer, so that Matt could feel his warm breath inside as he whispered, "I missed you so much I couldn't stand it, Matty… and on that second week when you sent me that picture… the one of you being all cute and dorky? I felt so lonely I felt _sick… _and do you know how hard it is to go without sex or anything for three weeks? I had to masturbate four times, and once I'm almost positive Near heard me form the bathroom… stupid dinny… but man, I missed you…" Mello giggled quietly into his ear. "You know… it's all I can do not to just jump you and rape you right here on the couch."

Matt turned red as soon as Mello finished his little speech, leaving Mello puzzled as Matt squeaked, "Uh, Mel?"

Mello smirked. "Yeah?"

Matt squeezed his eyes shut, blushing madly in a shade to challenge his hair, and squeaked, "Um… wrong ear."

Mello's face reddened.

"Oh."

**A/N: Umm… what is this…? I really don't know. I wrote it in Study Hall a few days ago, found it, and decided to post it. Viola.**


	53. With A Bang

_Bang!_

Matt flinched again, cursing himself silently for being startled once again. It was infuriating, especially now that Mello was smirking at him.

"You," Matt grumbled, leaning against the now horribly damaged white wall and pointing to the blonde accusingly, "Are _horrible._"

Mello rolled his eyes, cocking the gun in his hand again in a rather casual fashion. "You need to learn not to startle and panic at gunfire, Matty," Mello instructed rather bluntly, lifting the pistol upwards and aiming right at Matt's head.

Automatically, Matt tensed, eyeing the gun. "Are you crazy? No one actually stays completely calm when they're being shot at…"Mello smirked confidently. "_I _do."

"Let me rephrase that," Matt huffed. "Nobody _sane_ actual-"

_Bang! _Mello fired the gun again and Matt yelped in surprise as the wall beside his face exploded, inches from his head. Matt wore a pale, wide eyed expression as he looked up at Mello, stunned. "Mello… don't you-"

_Bang! _Mello fired again, on the other side of his head, then _bang, _again, beside his knee. This sent Matt into an adrenaline-fueled panic, pressing himself against the charred wall behind him and breathing at a much too fast rate. Mello smirked. "You're so cute when you're scared."

"And you're an _asshole_," Matt spat back, still trembling slightly. "I'm only barely sixteen - I'm too young to die!"

Mello rolled his eyes. "Matt, you're so dumb. Nobody is too young to die, and anyway, it's not like I'm actually going to _hit _you."

"H-How can I be sure!" Matt squeaked feeling his heart pound loudly in his ears as he watches Mello blow lazily on the smoking gun, a brazen smile on his face that sent Matt into a furious spew of, "You come pretty damn close! How am I suppose to know you won't slip?"

The reply he got was a bright, "Easy. You trust me," and a charming, almost loving smile from the blond. "This is for your own good, Matty."

Then, just as cheerfully, Mello fired again. Right into his heart.

…Nah, just kidding. But for a moment, with the way Matt screamed, you might have thought so.

**A/N: I'm so mean to poor Matt lately… XD**


End file.
